It’s that time of the week again… what are you going to miss? Would you like to write a post and tell us about it? Link it up here and let us come over and give you some comment love? I’d love to have you join me! If you're new you can read the YOUR GONNA MISS THIS guidelines here.
This week, when mid-term grades came out, James got the worst grade any of my kids have ever gotten. New ground. Today we are in day 2 of his restricted life, and he is testing me as I type. Hard to focus on the good things about our kids when they are pushing us in ways that make us wonder what they would taste like for dinner!
James is a good kid. He has a good head on his shoulders. He is responsible. And I don’t have trust issues with him. He has a perfectionist personality and likes to have things just so. (Just not his room, and now his grades.)
He is pretty discouraged with his Spanish class and says that he doesn’t even know why he tries, he won’t pass. In a conference yesterday with his teacher, I think she understands that something has failed in getting James to understand how to conjugate a verb… I hope that something can click. And the extra studying I am requiring of James helps.
In the midst of all that, I have to think. There is nothing here to miss…. nothing. This is hard. Enforcing consequences is hard. Seeing your kid discouraged is hard. Having them debate your punishment and having to go to even more consequences is hard.
So why do I choose this as my moment?
Because I need to focus on the positive
He is in the school musical this year, his first speaking part. He wears that silly black hat all the time. (a nice alternative to dying his hair black, which has been mentioned…)
Last night his relay team made it to the final round of sectional swimming… we will go watch that on Saturday…
He’s settled into a new friendship with his ex-girlfriend, not by his choice, but he’s handling it okay. (I think?)
Our school has an amazing choir of about 60 high school students. They go around and sing at local churches on Sunday evenings. I took a video last Sunday, it’s not a good video to look at, too far back and someone's head keeps getting in the way, but if you turn on the sound you can hear them at least…
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So Lord Jesus, I pray for James. I pray that with Your help we will make it through these days, days with much joy and fun and activity, but days when we need to learn some hard lessons too. Help me be the Mother and The Father to this son of mine, as only YOU can help me to be. My heart breaks when I have to discipline him, and he gets so upset. Help me be strong, and not give in to the temptation to just let it go. No one wins then. But, I can’t do it on my own. I need Your strength. Thank You Jesus. In Your Name. Amen.
PS… and if my dad wants to come home tonight and You want to give him the ability to fix all this for me, that would work for me too! ;)
Even though you don’t think so now James, I do Love you….
…won’t you join me in my weekly tribute to things we are going to miss…. or maybe not so much miss… but then the season ends… and there is so much to miss.
14 comments:
Enforcing the consequences are hard to follow through on sometimes. I am often terrible with that and being consistant. I pray that the Lord gives you strength.
Hope he does well swimming! Awesome about the musical too...we love theater in this house.
I'm sure his grades will improve, he sounds like a well rounded boy, everyone messes up sometimes and you are on top of it.
Great job ... keep up the good parenting. Being consistent with consequences is not easy ... but it is so worth it.
As the mama of 6 young adults (ages 18-24), I have been tested beyond belief. But, at one point or other, each of my children have come back and said, "Thanks for parenting like you did." Lindsey did a little rebellious journey for 6 months last year (resulted in getting kicked out of the house), and on Valentines Day she had flowers sent to me with the sweetest note imaginable. (She's in India, so she went out of her way to plan something for ME.)
James IS growing into a GREAT young man, despite the tough times the last few years. This is definitely a reflection of an amazing mom.
Many Blessings,
Laurel
It does fly by, doesn't it? I understand completely why you will miss this, and you are so right to concentrate on the positive. He's a great young man.
Hard stuff, Pam. And it makes me cringe, because at nine, my boy is ALREADY testing me the same way. So, I'm cheering you on, because I KNOW I'll be walking the same path in a few years, and I need to see a light ahead. I love the fact that you aren't letting him slide, just because he's doing good things in other areas. I really believe that he will thank you one day for making him work harder; there will be a time when knowing how to dig in and do that will come in handy. And, in today's laissez-faire parenting world, it will set him apart from the crowd. He'll see it, and he'll love you for it. For now... know that you're getting cyber-hugs from all over... along with many prayers. You're doing good, girlfriend...
Faith was playing when I was linking up and what an encouragement right in this moment when I need it!!
I understand! Haley is grounded right now too. She made a bad choice at her first real party in not telling us the truth about what would be going on and so, she has since lost all freedoms...including the computer! EEKK!!! But, she has the lead in her high school musical, so we didn't take that away from her AND....we are dying her hair back to blonde...do they make blonde hats?
It is good to read how you are looking for the positives, that is encouraging.
Have a blessed day.
If it's any consolation, Matt took 3 1/2 years of Spanish and still can't speak it! He dropped it at mid term this year. He thinks it's pretty pointless too. Sorry.
Glad to hear he's in the musical! How fun!
What a great idea! You're right, there is so much we will miss, whether we think so right now, or not! Sounds like you have a lot to keep up with, and that you are doing a great job :)
Sticking to the consequences I try to enforce is so hard at my house! I hope that all goes well and James does what he needs to do to better that grade. And congrats on all the fun things going on...theater and swimming; what great accomplishments! Have peace; He will help both of you through this.
i wish you all the luck in the world.
hey, that piano player is rockin out!! thanks for sharing
I love your prayer for James. I have a son who just turned 18 and your prayer is the one I need to pray every day to help me deal with him! Thanks for sharing and I will keep you in my prayers.
Cyndee
WA State
Pam, Was just thinking about your handsome and very athletic son James... I could imagine memorizing foreign words and conjugation of foreign verbs to be very well "foreign" to him...especially when he seems to be wired in a way that allows him to excel in sports and musicals, etc... I wonder if a different approach to mastering Spanish would be of any help to him... of course concerted and creative effort on his part would help.. I don't know...rapping to the Spanish words with music in the background... running with spanish in his headphones... acting out a skit he wrote in spanish... writing love notes to his mother in spanish with an english translation in the bottom :)... having dinner at a spanish restaurant... or having an ethnic spanish dinner... some crazy ideas... helping him to learn spanish not by just sitting and trying to stuff info into his head...but by manipulating the spanish words, using hands, and other methods to get it into his head... Best, Your new blog follower, Liz
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