Choosing to blog to get my thoughts in order?

Might not be the best choice?  Maybe I won’t publish?

Kiahna has went from “horrific” to “very manageable” over the past week.  I give the credit to God & the prayers.  He gives wisdom when we ask.  He keeps me asking.

Took her off of one medication. Added some more vitamins/herbs. 

Medication we came off of was the steroid inhaler for her asthma.  Behaviors had declined after getting that back into our lives with the allergy season upon  us.  Her asthma symptoms (she has never had an attack) appear to be related to her allergies.

One of the vitamins we added to our lives was Gaba.  If you have a kid or yourself with behavior issues, anxiety issues.  Run, don’t walk, & get some Gaba.  Seriously.  I have never seen an immediate result in a herb/vitamin like it appears I am seeing with this.  Very inexpensive.  I ordered mine from this site.

Tomorrow is the last day of school.  Kiahna woke up this morning & said to me, “Is today I am going to second grade?”  Poor kid!  No wonder she has anxiety!  Even when she’s been told over & over, she still doesn’t understand what’s going on sometimes.  The world she lives in is very confusing.  It’s hard for me to remember that.  I’d have anxiety too.

Zach is ending his junior year.  I am struggling to trust him.  I am struggling with anger at some teachers/coaches for their impatience with him.  I am struggling with fear.  I dread his senior year.  And I hate all those things in myself.

Quote from Zach last night “In one year I will be in college and you won’t have to worry about me any more”….   oh Zach you have no idea/

My biggest concerns right now for him are his self esteem.  Self worth.  God being allowed to work in his life as we go through the hard days ahead.

Hard in ways like, the 3 game suspension he has hanging over his head for the football season that is up & coming.  The football season that meant everything to him.  Hard in a way that I am not sure that even after the suspension is over that the coach will allow him to play.

Hard in ways like the fact that I am very involved with the mother’s portion of the team.  Very, very, very difficult for me to watch my son be treated a certain way for discipline I don’t agree with & pour my heart & time into working on.

We both have some tough days ahead.  Consequences are hard.  But even harder if they are consequences you are facing for someone else's decisions.  HARD!

Lucas had his 14th birthday last Friday.  He is growing up in his quiet way in a house full of a lot of “stuff”.

James is home for most of the summer & working hard.

Everyone else seems stable at the moment.

Working hard on my business.  God is blessing it.  I am loving it. 

DEEP BREATH.

Summer break will be good.  Right. Right?  Right.

Pam

When the meds stop working…

…and start working against you…

It happens very quickly with some meds & you know right away it’s not a good fit.

It happens very slowly with some meds & you don’t realize until you are living a nightmare that maybe it’s the meds.

Sunday.  A tantrum during Sunday school.  Can’t even send her into the classroom alone.  Don’t trust her behavior. 

Can’t handle drawing a smiley face on your baby Moses??

Something is seriously not okay with this.

I’ve had the little thought before that maybe it was the meds turning on us.

I finally took the plunge and didn’t give her the medication on Sunday night.

Monday was a different ball game.

I had a different child.

I don’t know whether to be angry or rejoice.

Rejoice.

There is nothing I can do about the past.

She takes the meds for her ADHD, so without the meds the ADHD, impulsiveness, sensory issues are all heightened… BUT AT LEAST SHE IS RATIONAL!!

We don’t have to live like we are walking on egg shells because she can’t deal with ANYTHING!!

I even took her to Lucas’ ball game tonight!  Her first game this year…  She did fabulous!

I guess the sun was a little bright for her!

THANK you so much for your prayers… life isn’t perfect, but it’s, like a bazzillion times better than it was just a few days ago… what a huge relief.

A few pix of my kids playing football now…

Lucas…

Zach…

Leah’s first homecoming powder puff game… with interception!!  check out that smile!

Their freshmen team… they were awesome, they would have won too, but the seniors cheated… so the seniors won.  (leah is the second from the left on the front row)

And Zach’s homecoming activity… Sledgehammer volleyball… they won best costumes…

Sometimes, it’s best you just don’t ask!

Pam

Pausing to write…

It’s busy around here… I know, you are shocked… I have to put the 1,000 things that are running through my mind & on my “to-do” list now that school is back in session, on hold to pause & write…

I am so blessed that people still read, follow & comment here… thanks.  Thanks for loving our family, for sticking through this with us, for supporting us with your prayers & kind words.  Its really amazing. 

James just left for his sophomore year at Bethel.  He was only home for the past week & the majority of his stuff was still at school.  Since he takes his own car, there was no need for me to go to help move in.  That’s kinda sad.  I would have enjoyed going along & being a part of moving them in again this year… but I have enough to do here at home I guess.  (haha)

I took him shopping last week for a few clothes for the new school year.  He’s a character let me tell ya.  Fun to be around & so embarrassing sometimes!  He bought these glasses at Pac-sun…

… I was so dying laughing… he walks into a department store & the clerk is trying to talk to him about what he’s looking for… I had to walk away… it was just too funny…  I asked him to walk on the other side of the mall & to please STOP calling me MOM!!  Of course you know what that did… oh my!!  Later he forgot to put them on after he had switched them out for his sun glasses while he was driving.  He was trying to convinced me to buy him something, & told me that I should get it for him since he had taken off the glasses for me… HA!  Yeah right, you forgot to put them back on!  He just laughed, cause he knew it was true.

It’s a little hard to see him go back to school… I admit.  It feels like he’s finally being a grown up & now he’s not around… but I know he’s where he needs to be & he’s very excited to be going back for another year… so all is well.  It will be neat to see his Spiritual growth this school year too.

I had to text his girlfriend, Brookelyn, to give her my sympathy for the glasses & the way he dresses… didn’t want her to think I CHOOSE these for him!!  (YOUR MAMA DRESSES YOU FUNNY!!)  His take on “style”… he to wear what is just coming in & then when everyone else is wearing it, he doesn’t want to wear it anymore… (get a good job hunny)

ZACH:  Well… Junior year has begun… football is in full swing… he’s been talking to a different girl about once a week all summer… his attitude goes from okay to boarder line most of the time… nothing to wonderful & nothing totally horrid either…

He could always use your continued prayers… safety on the football field… attitude… education… future… God bring Healing to my son… so much anger in this boy… thinks everyone is against him… so hard…

My moment is over… I will try to update on the rest of the family & myself soon…

Thanks for praying…

Pam

Zach Playing Football…

Football ended for our team last Friday night.

It was so ugly.

I hate when football ends.

Thought you might enjoy seeing Zach play with his cast on…

  

 

 

Zach had a great season as a sophomore!  Lettering in Varsity Football as a sophomore is no easy task!

Very proud of him.

Very glad he is not a senior this year!

Very much looking forward to 2 more years of watching him play!

Time for basketball.

You know.

After the cast comes off in 2 more weeks.

Pam

Broke.

Non-displaced fracture of the radius actually.

 

But if the trainer puts padding on it & he doesn’t have pain, he can play football with this cast. 

One more regular season game & then sectionals start!

Pam

Injury.

All was going well & Zach started as a defensive back & worked hard…

Then somehow his hand? arm? wrist? got twisted? turned? smashed?

 

 

  

The doctor on the sidelines examined it and didn’t think there was a medical reason for him to stay out of the game… but then the pain kept getting worse, so he sat out. 

Today we are supposed to see how it is feeling & looking & may end up going for x-rays.

Hope it’s not broken.

Pam

Wow… Really?

I think we figured out the reason Kiahna’s behavior has gotten so much worse since starting kindergarten.

I think it’s the medication she was on for ADHD.

I took her to the doctor on Monday, the appointment we have been waiting on for the further testing & evaluations of her behaviors.

She threw a horrific tantrum.

The lady who was meeting with us was extremely understanding & empathetic.  She suggested that we stop the appointment and I come back another day when I can talk without Kiahna with me. 

She also wondered if the medication could be causing some of this.

I couldn’t believe it.

Why didn’t I consider that before?

She started this new medication (the same one Jadon takes) towards the end of the summer, it never even crossed my mind that the medication could be making this worse!!!!

I made another appointment with the doctor who prescribes the meds, visited her yesterday, didn’t give K the old meds.  Got a new ADHD med to try… and we haven’t had a “violent” tantrum (we have had small ones) since then.

The new med is going to take 2-3 weeks to build in her body, could cause the same thing to happen, & meanwhile she is at school virtually un-medicated, hopefully getting along okay.

I am praying her teacher will have the patience for her. 

Jadon has picked up on some of Kiahna’s tantrum habits and has tried pulling some of his own.

These kids keep me on my toes. Or knees. Or both.

James is coming home tonight!

He is bringing a car load of kids back with him.  One is a girl he started dating a couple weeks ago.

That should be interesting.

She’s from the big city… what will she think of our home in the middle of know where on a gravel road? 

Could be very interesting.

Kinda scary for me.

Our football team is playing Saturday, rather than Friday this week.  All the teams in our conference are playing at a college campus about an hour from here.

Makes sense.  Play the team from the school 6 miles away, an hour away.  Logic there somewhere.

It’s about the fun of playing in a big stadium with turf and all I suppose.

We used to play at the Hoosier Dome, can’t afford Luc*as Oil, so we will settle for BSU.

Planning to tail-gate with my family before the 7:00 Game.

Zach’s been getting quite a bit of playing time…

He’s playing defense, mostly.

I’ve been extremely busy with my photography business… I am so blessed!!  I love it, and it’s great release for me!

I was driving to take the photos for the wedding Sunday, and I just started being filled with doubt… “what am I doing?  I can’t do this!”  But, God is doing it… I turned up my radio & prayed…and God did great!!

Go over and see the photos on my HERE on my photo-blog

Amanda…

Kadison & Lily…

John…

Alicia…

Blake…

And lots & lots of Adam & Ashley’s wedding… a peek is posted, more will be coming in the next week!

Pam

Many thoughts…

It’s been a good while since I wrote an update on our family.  I have much to be thankful for & much to continue to be prayerful for.  I’d like to share… If you’d like to hear.

James is home for the weekend!!  He “loves college”!  It is so good to have him here!  To see him in person!  It’s been a long/short 2 weeks since we moved him in & our convos since then have been quick & short & full of “gotta go mom!”  I am thrilled to pieces that he is loving it so much.  I think he’s studying!  I know he had some “shock” going into the first few classes with the amount of homework & papers that would be required.  He’s adjusting to that.  His thoughts, as of now, are that he won’t be back until fall break, mid October.  This is all so strange.  It’s good, just an adjustment!  He’s done a lot of sleeping this weekend… something I am sure they are not doing much of in the dorms!

We pulled my sister’s camper out of the barn yesterday & we have been camping in the back yard (the best kind of camping!! or at least the easiest!!!)  My younger kids are loving it!  My back is hating it!!  Not sure if I can do it another night, but in my heart I would love to try!

We are enjoying football season around here again!   Zach’s been playing mostly jv, but he got in for 2 quarters of varsity last Friday!  He’s much more excited about playing when he is getting some varsity time. 

Leah really enjoys cheerleading!  She’s such a fun girl to have around!

Her squad at photo day last week!

Kiahna turned 6 last Sunday.

My beautiful little girl is dealing with some major behavior issues.  Thankfully, at this point they are mostly just for me & nothing at school (to my knowledge). 

Her tantrums seem to be growing in intensity & frequency. 

I would give anything to know how to help her overcome whatever it is that is causing this in her.  I continue to search & pray for answers.

Last week there was a radio talk show on the FW Christian radio station, & 3 people called me to tell me to turn it on & listen.  It was Heather Forbes, author of the book Beyond Consequences. 

She is coming to FW this next Saturday & speaking.  I am planning to go.  I ordered her book & I am praying that this may finally be something to lead us towards some help.

Please keep us in your prayers.  Things can’t keep going like this.  She needs help.  I need help. 

A group from our church is coming this week and putting  a new roof on our house!!  How blessed we are for that!!  I have been oblivious to the state of the roof, but apparently there are some major things that need revamped & repaired on it!  THANKFUL God has people looking out for things like that for me, I sure have no clue!!

Now if my washer repair guy would come out & replace the part he ordered for my washer so that I don’t have to hit it with a football cleat to get it into the spin cycle, my life would be… well… better! :)

Pam