You know what a fox hole is, right? One of those holes you dig in intense battle to hide in. The people that join you in those holes quickly become your friend as you face death and destruction together.
God gave me a friend like that. It is one of the most incredible friendships I have. One, because of the way it came about. Two, because we can talk about anything. Three, because we have come so far together - so far apart!
Because of the sensitivity of their story, I won’t use her real name. And I won’t be posting any pictures. It’s a bummer, but it’s the nature of the battle.
Before HSSH left, I was already addicted spending lots of time researching important topics on the Internet. Mostly adoption issues.
I met Dorie on a Yahoo site. She and her dh were in the beginning stages of adopting a baby. We had lots in common and chatted easily.
As time went on and difficult things developed in their adoption, I was there for her. And then my life came crashing in. She was there for me.
I remember standing at my living room window having the thought that I didn’t know who of my friends would be here for me when life had just fallen to pieces. Realizing that the person I had communicated with the most lately I had never even met.
Dorie and I continued our relationship, and I had many friends I could SEE come to my rescue also. She got unlimited long distance, so phone calls became a daily thing, as we unloaded our lives on each other and cried on each other’s our own phone receivers, to each other.
A few months after HSSH left, I really needed a break from my kids, my life, my HSSH, my reality, myself! I did probably the most daring thing I had ever done in my life, and I bought a ticket to fly and meet my Internet friend!
It was exciting and fun! We ran around while her wonderful dh watched her kids! We were so alike in so many ways that we even came out dressed identical one day! That was too funny! It was a break from my circumstances that I so desperately needed, in more than one way.
On that trip God met me in an incredible way. Near her home there is a House of Prayer. Here in our area they were beginning one too. I was excited, and oh so naive, to get the chance to go and check it out. What I found was the Spirit of God in a way I never knew existed.
In the midst of my pain, frustration, agony, God met me. Brought me a friend who took me to a place that would blow my “God box” wide open.
Do you have a God box? I sure did. A place that you try to keep God contained. It’s all nice and neat and comfortable. I pulled Him out when I needed Him and He stayed there until I needed Him again. It looked a certain way and was decorated with certain things based on the church I attended and the experiences I had.
This was the beginning stages of my adventure in figuring out for myself that MY GOD doesn’t fit in any box. (Although, I don’t deny that I sure keep trying to make Him fit in one in many ways) He is wild and amazing. More incredible and more capable than I ever imagined. HE is so very, very good to me.
As I sat in the prayer room for the first time, I began to weep. The Sprit of God was so great in that room. It was what my soul was longing for. It was less than an hour that we were there, and it changed me.
I have made a few more trips out there to see Dorie since then, and she is making her second trip out here this week! Our battles still rage, just mentally on some days, and just different enough that we understand each other’s emotions without stepping on each other’s toes. The perfect fox hole friend.
God is so amazing! Love you Dorie! Just keep swimming!!!
Pam
