Beauty for Ashes… divorce for weddings…

A couple weeks ago, it was a Sunday evening… I had photographed a wedding all day, it had been a gorgeous day, with a stunning bride & a knock out location for the shoot… I was uploading my files from my camera to my lap top when it hit me…

I love photographing weddings…

The profoundness of that thought just blew me away… because after all the pain that marriage has caused me in my life… God is using weddings to bring me great joy… to provide for my family… and HE has brought healing into my life in this area in a way I would never, ever have dreamed was possible.

My mind was awash with the verses in Isaiah about beauty for ashes…

“and provide for those who grieve in Zion—
to bestow on them a crown of beauty
   instead of ashes,”  Isaiah 61:3

It struck me hard that God was really doing this in my life… it’s not just words… it’s real.

I have written in my Bible, from a counseling session in 2009, “God is doing verses 1 to 3 so that He can do verses 4-11… I’d have to agree two years later, I finally am seeing it…

“Instead of your shame
   you will receive a double portion,
and instead of disgrace
   you will rejoice in your inheritance.
And so you will inherit a double portion in your land,
   and everlasting joy will be yours.”  verse 7

The hard days in the past six years (wow), have been overwhelming… and we still have hard days.   Jadon had a hard time on Sunday, dealing with Father’s day… the rest of the kids didn’t voice their pain or frustration, but I know at least one of them is doing an awful lot of “running” still.

Since Sunday though I have seen a change in Jadon.  I’ve seen a better attitude & better attachment to me.  The issue for Jadon & Kiahna is double force with the abandonment of their birth families & then the abandonment of their adopted dad.  We are in counseling, I am taking Jadon today to the counselor that has been helping me with Kiahna.

I say all that I guess to give a more accurate picture.  Are we “done” dealing with this issue?  No, but we are better, we are beginning to taste that “double portion”… we are beginning to have more days of joy, rather than the darkness & ashes.

I am incredibly excited & blessed by the path I am seeing James take these days.  God is doing a work there… It’s leaving me with my mouth hanging wide open at this point… wanting to pinch myself to see if this is real.  I’ll share more as I can, but wow.

I see Zach making more mature choices, I hope.  He’s in Wisconsin with the basketball team & some parents right now.  I would be lying to you if I said I wasn’t a little bit concerned he was going to so something stupid.  I haven’t had any phone calls… so I hope that’s good news.  He has a great heart, but he is very influenced by others… and he is my “runner”… how busy can he keep himself so he doesn’t have to deal with reality? 

If you don’t have links to my photography pages it’s time you got those!!

This is my photography blog

This is my photography website

This is my face book fan page

My heart’s desire is to glorify God in all of this, go take a peek at what HE has done… I am stunned.

Pam

Wow… Really?

I think we figured out the reason Kiahna’s behavior has gotten so much worse since starting kindergarten.

I think it’s the medication she was on for ADHD.

I took her to the doctor on Monday, the appointment we have been waiting on for the further testing & evaluations of her behaviors.

She threw a horrific tantrum.

The lady who was meeting with us was extremely understanding & empathetic.  She suggested that we stop the appointment and I come back another day when I can talk without Kiahna with me. 

She also wondered if the medication could be causing some of this.

I couldn’t believe it.

Why didn’t I consider that before?

She started this new medication (the same one Jadon takes) towards the end of the summer, it never even crossed my mind that the medication could be making this worse!!!!

I made another appointment with the doctor who prescribes the meds, visited her yesterday, didn’t give K the old meds.  Got a new ADHD med to try… and we haven’t had a “violent” tantrum (we have had small ones) since then.

The new med is going to take 2-3 weeks to build in her body, could cause the same thing to happen, & meanwhile she is at school virtually un-medicated, hopefully getting along okay.

I am praying her teacher will have the patience for her. 

Jadon has picked up on some of Kiahna’s tantrum habits and has tried pulling some of his own.

These kids keep me on my toes. Or knees. Or both.

James is coming home tonight!

He is bringing a car load of kids back with him.  One is a girl he started dating a couple weeks ago.

That should be interesting.

She’s from the big city… what will she think of our home in the middle of know where on a gravel road? 

Could be very interesting.

Kinda scary for me.

Our football team is playing Saturday, rather than Friday this week.  All the teams in our conference are playing at a college campus about an hour from here.

Makes sense.  Play the team from the school 6 miles away, an hour away.  Logic there somewhere.

It’s about the fun of playing in a big stadium with turf and all I suppose.

We used to play at the Hoosier Dome, can’t afford Luc*as Oil, so we will settle for BSU.

Planning to tail-gate with my family before the 7:00 Game.

Zach’s been getting quite a bit of playing time…

He’s playing defense, mostly.

I’ve been extremely busy with my photography business… I am so blessed!!  I love it, and it’s great release for me!

I was driving to take the photos for the wedding Sunday, and I just started being filled with doubt… “what am I doing?  I can’t do this!”  But, God is doing it… I turned up my radio & prayed…and God did great!!

Go over and see the photos on my HERE on my photo-blog

Amanda…

Kadison & Lily…

John…

Alicia…

Blake…

And lots & lots of Adam & Ashley’s wedding… a peek is posted, more will be coming in the next week!

Pam

Some of my latest photography work…

 

Katie Grace

 

 

Nichole

 

See More here…

Wedding Photographer

I’ve been MIA because I’ve been working very hard on these…  I’d love for you to see!!

View full post here

Pam

Photos from the weekend…

Leah in the Middle School play…

James & Zach’s track season ended.  James got 6th place in the 110 hurdles & doesn’t move on.  He was playing with the kids on the track afterwards… you know just to make it that much harder to see him go one day soon…

Last Swing Choir Performance…

Photo with Mr B…  Teachers who invest countless hours in kids lives… Bless Them God.

Swing Choir Party after the last performance…

All the seniors, letting me take some fun shots of them last night…   Oh, and we can’t forget that I photographed my very first wedding over the weekend!!  I left Friday afternoon & met my friend Jodi who was my second shooter, and we spent the night & photographed from 9 am til 4:30 on Saturday.  Won’t be editing until after graduation, you know, except this one…

Another busy week of appointments, planning, & last times…

Pam

Photography… where are we going?

I have been doing quite a bit of marketing research on photography.  And on college scholarships.  And working on taxes.  And. And. And.

My house is being overrun with papers at the  moment.  It’s quite something.  If…when something gets spilled on the counters or the table, it’s going to be disastrous… but where do you go with all this “stuff”?

I have been reading that as a photographer I need to choose a specialty and become good at that area, children, seniors, weddings, scenery.  I don’t know how to do that though.  So, I guess I won’t limit myself at this time.

I did accept my first wedding job for this May.  Lots of learning will go into my next few months.

I am accepting photo bookings for this coming year.  The spring & summer are going to be pretty difficult to get at time with me, so if you want something in that time frame, speak up early.

Just prayerfully considering where I am going with all of this.  Not wanting to go the wrong way.

My Note cards on Esty are in stock (and that is a little scary) I have those at my house & can ship them,  if anyone is wanting some of those.  I did change the quantity & now you will be getting 6 cards in a pack.  I can also offer to mix the packs up and give you a variety pack!  Let me know!

And now… my latest photo shoot…

Ethan...

View Full Album

Thanks for all your kind words and support!

Pam

iheartfaces: textures

 

iheartfaces is hosting their weekly photo challenge.  This week’s theme is textures.  ihearttextures!  Oh… do ihearttextures.

In fact, this week’s judge Shana Rae of Flora Bella is one of my favorite photographers.  I love her style and own all her textures & actions.  :)

Maybe I like her so much since we share the same middle name?  Spelled the same?  Perhaps I should change my bloggy name to “Pamela Rae”. 

My Entry…

Kiahna Grace by Pamela Rae… :)

Flora Bella’s Vintage Summer Action & “Vintage Screen” texture from Flora Bella’s Textures set II.

I am excited to learn more about textures this week & how to use them to make my client’s photos beautiful!!  You can learn more this week too at iheartfaces!

Pam

Alex: Senior Photography

I took these pictures of Alex right before the Christmas season.  He was patient & waited & let me work with them now… I hope he will think it’s been worth the wait!  See these photos larger HERE on my photo-blog.

 

These storyboard collages are available with the photos & wording of your choice… Color options for the trim are interchangeable too… They are intended to be a 10 x 20 sized print.

 

One of my favorites, I’d love to see this one on Metallic Paper!

With his shot put… Alex is going to college on a nice scholarship for his accomplishments in shot put.  Congratulations Alex!

Pam

Wedding Photographer??

May I quote myself in my Family Christmas Letter sent out just last month??

“If you are interested in having photographs done in the coming year for anything that is NOT a wedding (nope don’t do weddings!!)  I would be so excited to be of service!”

Apparently someone out there didn’t get my Christmas letter.  I got a call early this week about  photographing a wedding.

Actually, I am pretty sure I hear God laughing one of those throw your head back laughs right about now… I think He loves to surprise us with opportunities that He knows we would never (did you see that “NOT” it was all caps in my Christmas letter too!) pursue on our own.

The bride’s mother who called me told me she really felt that God had told her to call me, & the bride saw my work and said “this is the one”…

I am waiting for God to tell me personally, but so far I don’t think He has gained control of his delightful laughter to do so.

I confess, I’ve spent the last few days completely freaking myself out by researching wedding photography & going through all the reasons why this wouldn’t work.

Then I decide to throw caution to the wind and just go for it.

Then I analyze a little more.

The bride seems pretty laid back, although I have never met her in person.

It’s all a little suspicious if you ask me.

Would you stop laughing. 

Pray for me.  I am going crazy with doubts & fears & what ifs.  I think I may be crazy enough to actually do this.

Crazy.

Pam

YOUR Gonna Miss This…Moment 64… with a contest!

So sorry to have skipped out on this for the past two weeks!  Something had to give, and it was the blog that took the hit!  LOL!  Stay tuned till the end of this post for some special announcements!

Yesterday, it snowed.  A LOT. Enough to send the schools home early & delay school (or cancel in some districts) today. 

We had a delay.  So, Kiahna and I were here alone.  I decided to take my camera and go out & see what we could find to photograph.

Kiahna hasn’t wanted to go out in the snow and play with the other kids… but today with me… she loved stomping around in the snow!

It was so beautiful, snow was everywhere and on everything!

A fun day for Kiahna and I, one I will miss as she goes off to school on days like today with the other kids next year.

We only got stuck 2 times in the snow!  Both in my parents lane!  I tried going there to get pictures of the birds by their feeders…

The snow is so beautiful.  Much preferred to the mud in my mind!

Now, for the special announcement!  I have chosen three of the photos I took today and spent some time editing them!  I think that I am going to get some prints made of them & hang them on the wall!  I am pleased with how they turned out.  I am offering them for sale through my business if anyone would like one of their own. 

I am also giving one away to one person who left a comment on my last post!  Kelly @ My Dot on His Line is the winner!  Random.com choose, & I am thrilled since she said how much she is wishing for at least one snowflake!  Here is her snowflake!!  Congrats Kelly!

AND I am giving one away to one person who plays along with me this week on this carnival!

I hope you like them!  Go here to see them larger.

 

Words are changeable & removable.  Winner gets their choice.  The size of the print will be 11 x 14.

To be eligible you first MUST play along.  Either in on your blog OR in my comments.  If you post on your blog you must link up AND leave a comment.

To be entered again you can twitter & post about the contest on your blog post.  So that is 2 more entries if you do both of those.  So three chances to enter!

Email me with questions!

Pam

Business & a Thank YOU!

Are you still without a Christmas card for this Christmas? 

I am booking quick photo shoots for this weekend!! 

You will receive one family photograph.  One custom designed card. And then pay for the cards you choose.  Card prices vary based on the style of the card & then of course  how many you purchase. Contact me for pricing.

You will have the option of purchasing more prints of the photograph if you choose!

The cards that I create are done based on the information you give me & the style you want. 

It is an interactive process where I will send you a proof I have designed & then you will tell me yes or no, & make suggestions.  It is custom for your family.  You choose the words, colors, photos & we work together to create something just for you!

See more of the cards I have created here.

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Gift Certificates are available!!

I am including $20 in free prints to anyone who buys a gift certificate to give this Christmas.

Contact me for pricing.  Half of the sitting fee will be due now and the other half at the time of the photo shoot.

I am not booking large photo shoots until spring.

This winter I can only offer quick shoots indoors (which are very limiting) and newborn photo sessions.

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I am very blessed to have found a way to support my family & thank you to all of my customers!! 

I am blown away by God’s faithfulness to our family over the years, and I am searching for words to convey that. 

This will be the fifth Christmas we have went through without HSSH.  Its mind boggling sometimes. 

Another thing that is mind boggling is the financial support that our family continues to receive from this community. 

In so many ways I would say we are “healed” and “peaceful” about where we are.  Yes, the kids have moments of struggling and I don’t know that they are as healed as I am.

The one thing that just doesn’t end is the finances needed to raise this many children.  My brain can’t even go to where we would be without our church’s support. 

Cardboard boxes & rags come to mind.

Seriously.

So, I hope that when you book a photo shoot with me and you work with me, and as I work with your photographs, you understand how blessed I am to have work and to be able to do something I love.  I hope that thankfulness never ends.

Pam

I Heart Faces: Tooshies

This week’s themed contest at I Heart Faces is Tooshies…

I had this perfect one of my boys this fall…

Brotherly love.

If you remember right though, it did wonders for Zach’s ability to look more natural for the camera!

Pam

Sun-flares

Many people think that if you take a photo and it ends up with a sun-flare in it you have a poor quality picture.

Did you know that sun-flares are the latest in photography?  And if you happen to get a beautiful sun-flare in a photo it is viewed by other photographers as a true gem?

In fact this week at I Heart Faces the theme was sun-flares!  I didn’t enter the contest, because I didn’t think I had anything to offer.  I’ve been working on some photos and actually trying to add sun-flare to them! 

Today on I Heart Faces they are actually hosting a contest for some really great edits (for Photo-shop) that ADD SUNFLARE to your photos!!  OOOOOOHHHHHH…. so it’s okay to fabricate the sun-flare????  Emphasize the small sun-flares?  I guess so!!

I took this picture last Sunday.  This is Cary and Amy.  They have been in my life in a multitude of ways over the years.

Before:

Nice picture.  Not wild about the color.  Indiana is not real colorful this time of year.  See that tiny spot on Cary’s arm?  A sun-flare!  It was sunny on this day & that gave me an idea!

What do you think of that?

It’s something to keep working on & but I think it is kinda cool!!

Pam

Custom Christmas Cards

I have been teaching myself how to design Cards.  A customer requested them and I am learning…  I did these today of my own kids…

If you are interested in having a card designed by me, please let me know!!  (I can even use your photos if you like)  Pricing is based on the type of card you are looking for & a small design fee. 

Pam