Showing posts with label Blessings. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Blessings. Show all posts

Monday, February 13, 2012

In between the blog posts

So much life happens around here at such high speeds… stopping to write about it doesn’t happen until I get that overwhelming feeling inside to get it out on paper I will explode if I don’t.

Like last night.  Aching for my son. I believe with all my heart that Zach will be okay in the long run… it’s the long run that puts the fear into me.  It’s the seemingly “waste” of time to get to that point.  It’s watching him be robbed & stolen from every day that cuts to the core.

My oldest is considering a signature with the Indiana National Guard.  I am considering screaming.  Praying for peace.  Unsure of what to think.  Knowing it isn’t my choice.  Hating that feeling.

Kiahna’s test results came back from her eeg.  No seizure activity the doctor says.  We can try a new med.  You can see this doctor next.  I can pound my head against a wall.  I can try a vitamin the chiropractor recommends.  I can pray against the spiritual battles that are coming against her.  I can cry.  I can become extremely afraid.  I can sign papers with poor behavior documentation.  I can pray.  I can go pick her up because the new med caused a bad reaction.  I can pray again.

Watching & photographing a lot of basketball…

Feeling the judgment of others for the behaviors of my children.  Fighting against it.

Wondering if I should somehow force my children’s dad to be a dad.  Wondering what the best is.  Wanting to ring his neck.  Fighting for forgiveness & grace to forgive again.  Thankful for the little child support checks.

Needing to do a medication change for Jadon.  Helping him transition to a new teacher when the old one suddenly began her maternity leave early. 

Clean up some puke.

Order some new flooring.

Wonder how the house got to be such a mess.

Be thankful that it is because there are people here who I love dearly to mess it up.

Hope.

Pray.

Laugh.

Love.

Live.

Cry.

Fear.

Rest.

Overwhelm.

Grace.

Strength.

Endurance.

Life.

Death.

Peace.

Storms.

This is the stuff.

Pam

Friday, December 23, 2011

2011 Christmas Letter

Merry Christmas from our family to yours…

6a Tre¦és Card my card front

It’s been a good year.  God is so good, all the time.  We are blessed. So Blessed.

6b Tre¦és Card my card 2011

As I sit down to write, it’s hard to see the past year in any way besides blessed.  I know it’s been a hard year…. but it’s been such a blessing in the hard times & the good times… it’s hard, as I sit in my quiet house, with 2 kids asleep in front of our beautiful Christmas tree, sipping some tea, listening to some quiet Christmas music… how can I think about anything but how abundantly blessed we are…

So, I guess that’s where I will leave it… I could go into detail about the trials, explain the accomplishments & the defeats, the long & short of it is that we are celebrating Christmas as a family that has been given “exceeding abundantly more than we could ask or imagine”

Pam

Monday, July 11, 2011

A Baptism & a Mohawk…

I love my boys dearly…

There are moments where I couldn’t be more proud of the choices they are making & moments when I just want to go hide under a rock…

Had both of those this past week…

A few weeks ago, James called me & told me that he felt like he was ready & it was time for him to be baptized.  He said he wanted Grandpa to baptize him on his 20th birthday in the lake while we were on vacation.

For our family, that’s not exactly the way we normally have our baptisms.  We normally have them in a church… and in our church it has the dual meaning of becoming a member of our church at the same time you are baptized.

So, there were a few “in the box” thoughts that had to be swept away by a few of us.

One thing none of us really knew was what was happening in James life that was bringing him to this place?  Since he isn’t living at home this summer & contact had only been a few phone calls over the past month, it sure had my curiosity peaked as to what God was doing in James.

My dad traveled to BC to meet with James the week before vacation to find out what was happening in his life & hear his testimony.

Dad came back very excited about what God was doing in James’ heart, but didn’t share much, because he wanted James to be able to share it with us himself.

So, on Sunday night, after the littlest kids were put to bed.  James shared his story of what God had been up to the past few years with our family (my 3 sisters, their husbands, grandpa & grandma, & the older kids).  Some of the things were quite surprising to me… anger towards his dad & God being on the top of the surprise list.  He always appeared to have much more of ahold on his feelings than he expressed he did.

How God worked out for James to be at Bethel College & what a blessing that has been… its mind blowing.

The girl that James is dating, Brookelyn (Brooke), was there too.  She is a gem of a girl.  It was really nice to have her there for the first part of the week & get to know her better.  If she is the one that James marries one day, I will be very pleased with that! 

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Then on Tuesday, his 20th birthday, James was baptized in the lake by his grandpa with all of us watching on the sides… it was an incredibly emotional, special, amazing experience for me as a mom…

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James went back to BC for the rest of the summer, he is working at another camp this week & I am excited to see what God does next!!

(oh, & he decided not to get another tattoo!  THANKS TO BROOKE!!)

And… he shaved his brother’s head into a mohawk the next day…

This one looked cute with it…

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This one, not so much…

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uhg…

I admit, I was incredibly mad when he did it to Zach.

It was right before the baptism & I could so see satan’s attempt to steal away my joy… ugh… so mad…

I still think he looks really dumb with it, but he’s 17 & one day he will grow up, have children (and probably no hair at all!)  and I will bring out these photos & we will all have a really good laugh!! 

Uhg.

Pam

Saturday, March 5, 2011

Snow & flooding….

Last week we had our **HOPEFULLY** last snow storm of the season… The kids went out and made this snowman with Zach & his girl Rachel…

This was Friday…

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By Monday the temps had risen, the snow was melting & we had a thunderstorm, complete with lightening & tornado touchdowns…  oh, & power outages with flooding…

My basement when I woke up on Monday morning… yes, it was this messy… yes I was already in the process of cleaning out the storage room… which in the big picture was a plus because there were a lot more things that would have been on the ground if I had not done that…

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From the other end…

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The boy’s bedroom is down there…

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And their bathroom… (towels piled up by Zach so he could stand & get ready that morning)

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All these clothes were clean & “fell” out of their closet… and soaked up the flood water…

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And this was the laundry pile…

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The basement kitchen…

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Right now every area with carpet is empty & every thing is piled on the vinyl flooring… I donated 3 bags of stuff… free-cycled & sold a few things I was not going to put back into storage… The carpeting is dry & scheduled to be re-laid this morning… then it will need cleaned & we can move back in.

$500 deductible on my flood insurance… my brother-in-law is installing a new sump pump, plus a battery powered back up… that’s going to be costly…

I get my first tax refund since my divorce… I get to spend it on a sump-pump… joy of joys!! Smile  I did buy some “fun” stuff with it already though too… it will be fine.  I am extremely blessed & thankful!!!

Pam

Sunday, September 12, 2010

We have a roof over our heads

Want to hear a great story?

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A great true story?

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A great true story about a roof?

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A great true story about a roof and God?

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A great true story about a roof and God and a whole lot of people who allow themselves to be God’s Hands?

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See, I didn’t even know there was a problem with the roof.

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I live inside where, unless there is water coming out of somewhere it isn’t supposed to be, I am pretty much oblivious.

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But, God.  He knows it all.  And He knows when there is a need & when He decides to fill it.  He gets His way.

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31 hours from start to finish & it was scraped & DONE!

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And the mess was even cleaned up!

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That’s Zach in the yellow shirt, totally in his element with a nail gun in his hand… he loves construction.

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Jadon loved the magnetic stick that searched for nails!

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The clean up crew worked hard!

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You can’t even imagine how humbling, amazing, thankful, overwhelming, wonderful this was to receive & to witness.

God sees our needs.  Even when we don’t know we have them.  And He provides. 

HUGE thanks to all who answered the call & came out to help!!

Pam

Monday, November 9, 2009

Somehow…

Somehow life has become “normal” again.

Somehow I am raising 6 children on my own.

Somehow the sun is coming up each day and still reminds me of the promise of restoration God has given me.

Somehow I am taking pictures and people like them and want me to take them of them,and get this... I am getting paid to do something I love!

Somehow our needs are continuing to be provided for in every way possible and then some.

Somehow.

How?

This incredibly mind blowing God I serve.

He is how.

No other way.

None.

Zero.

Family Shots Fall 2009 429 copy

Any questions?

Pam

Tuesday, October 13, 2009

Lord… I am Amazed.

The beauty of autumn is upon us.  It is truly incredible to see the color come out of the trees… This year, I am seeing it through the lens of my camera.  And that is a first.

My eyes are becoming more in turn with what is around me.  Everywhere I go I think, “I’d like to take pictures there.” or “no, that wouldn’t work”

Realizing I have a hidden love of old barns & textures I never new existed in me.  It’s really quite something.

The business that I started about a month ago is going full force.  Busier than I would like to be on a “normal” basis, actually.  I know it is the time of year & don’t expect it will continue on at this speed.  Not thinking I really want it to! 

I love the photography time!!  LOVE IT!!  I am loving meeting new people, getting to know people I didn’t really know very well.  Getting in to the heart of people that I wish I knew better and finding a bond with them.

Last night I was photographing a family.  I had a short little shoot with only the parents.  As they asked me how they should pose, I thought, I don’t really want to “pose” them so much as I want them to be them.  Sit like they sit.  Be yourself. 

My favorite pictures are not the ones where they are perfectly smiling at the camera, but the ones that they are being real.  O. And that the camera is in focus.  That always helps. :)

Kiahna October 2009

Jadon October 2009

Then you have some kids that really shouldn’t be taken in public… really…

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Some people it’s just better that I don’t capture them quite so “natural”!

Poor Sam… she really wanted to smile without showing her teeth… how could you with HIM around! 

Sam & James 031 Sam & James 554 Not to mention, random bike riders!!

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And anyway… I think your teeth are beautiful, Sam!!

I am amazed.  Amazed as I look through the photos that came through my lens.  I see things I didn’t even know were there when I took the shot.  Gifts.  Blessings.  I am amazed.

I have lots of work to do.  2 families & 4 seniors sit in my laptop awaiting edits.  Another family is pending for tomorrow evening, and one is almost finished…  keep watching over at my photo blog, I am sure you will be seeing some new work over there real soon!! 

And I am amazed.  God is Amazing.  This is all His idea, and I am so blessed to be a part of it!! 

Pam

Monday, September 7, 2009

Catchup: Kids

I decided my own Catchup post was getting too long & I needed to cut things up a little!   Hope you still read them both!

The kids are busy.

James:

3 weeks into his senior year of High School.  Things are going along pretty well.  He is still trying to figure out what he wants to go to college for and where he wants to go to college.  This week’s idea is to be a marketing director.  He has applied to two colleges so far. 

Football is going well.  The team is 2-1.  The first 2 games were big wins.  This last game was a loss.  The schedule that our team plays is a hard one.  A real hard one.  Our conference is a hard conference.  We are one of the small schools.  The other 1/2 of the conference continues to grow while the rest of us stay the same or get smaller.  Makes it hard. 

The highlight of the game on Friday night was that James scored his first Touchdown of the year!!  VERY EXCITING!!!  Made the game for me!

But, then after the game I heard James attitude.  I read what our new coach said about the game in the paper, and I heard what he said on the radio.  He is doing a wonderful job with those boys.  Even in the face of a big loss he was encouraging and proud of them for not giving up in the face of adversity.   He paralleled it to life & repeatedly says how much there is to learn about life from football.  That attitude is reflected in my son.  I am praying for that man.

More about football… when the team came out on Friday night I noticed James was up in front and was carrying a large sledge hammer…

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Cool. 

I took pictures.

I asked him later, how it happened he got to carry this sledge hammer in to the game?

Turns out it’s an award!  And award for the defense’s hardest hitter in the last game.

My James?

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Hard to believe!! :)  He’s NEVER done well with pain!!

I made this from one of the pictures I took of him Friday night.  He thinks I should make one for each of the boys who gets this award… hum…

Hammer Award UC Game

I took him & Zach & another of James friends who has asked me to take senior pictures out for a photo shoot on Saturday evening. 

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You can see more of these & Zach’s and other things I’ve been working on, on my photography blog Moments... by Pam.

The photo shoot was fun!  What crazy boys!  Look at some of these out-takes…

Zach says, “I am going to be the random pedestrian!”

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What I got when I asked them to all three get in the shot…

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And how about when they were trying to get their behinds on that window ledge…

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Hysterical times!

Zach:

Zach thought High School was going to be easy, academically anyway.  Zach is finding out it’s not easy.  He asked me to switch him to an easier Science class.  I said no.  He needs to work harder.  He’s smart.  He can do this.

While James has an easy academic year, Zach has that had full load of freshman year. 

There is a meeting this week about drivers Ed.  Learners permit will be coming soon.  EEK!!!

Football is going pretty good for Zach.  With a small school, there is always the question of is there enough boys for a JV & Freshmen team?  Right now we have both.  But it is hard to win games when boys have to play the whole game both ways.  And its hard when some of your classmates get pulled up to the JV team and you don’t.  Zach’s had some hard days dealing with that, but he is doing better.  I am happy about his attitude lately about it…

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He’s been running the ball some… they have him all over the place on the field.  Please don’t ask what position he plays.  I don’t even know if he knows 1/2 the time!! :)  Their team will pull it together, in the 2nd half of their game last week they did much better than the first half. 

Not sure if I am going to travel to his game this week.  Both games are about an hour away this week.  It’s so hard not to go.

Zach’s pictures are on my photography blog too… here’s a sample…

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Leah:

In the midst of Middle School.  Raise your hand if you have fond memories of those years?  BLAH!!  Me neither!  What a hard age.

She is doing well with it though… from where I sit at least!

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Then your mom takes goofy pictures of you and posts them on her blog. 

Leah is learning much about cheerleading these days.  She had her first game a week ago Saturday (while I was at Beth Moore).  So I have yet to see her cheer, but I am excited to see her tomorrow!!

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Her sister is pretty excited about this whole cheerleading gig too…

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Lucas:

Doing well.  Loving 5th grade.  Loving life!

Lucas told me recently that James & Zach told him that when he got older he would like football.  He realizes now that this is true!  I didn’t think he ever would! 

He is playing soccer this fall!  His first game is this coming Saturday morning!  I have been very blessed to have my cousin/neighbor coaching & driving Lucas home from all the practices!  I don’t think I could have let him be in it any other way! 

Lucas school pix 2009.1

Jadon:

Three weeks into kindergarten, and I am amazed and thankful for how well Jadon is dealing with it all!! 

YIPPEEEEEE!!!!!!

He’s told me that a girl wants to marry him.

He’s told me that a boy went to the principals office for slapping another kid (and it wasn’t him Hallelujah thank you Jesus!!)

He had his first show and tell.

He was to take in a baby picture…

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A-DOR-A-BLE!

I was so curious about what he would say.

Has he ever told a group about adoption before?

O to be a fly on the wall.

In our before school conversation I had asked him what he was going to say.  We talked about adoption, where he was born, birth moms…

AFTER SCHOOL, I asked how it went. 

Jadon:  Good.

Me:  Did you tell the kids you were adopted?

Jadon: Yes.

Me:  What did they say?  Did they know what adoption is?

Jadon:  Yes.  ALL of them were adopted too!

Me: ………..

Me:  um…

Me:  Really?  What does adopted mean Jadon?

Jadon:  I don’t know.

Me:  uhg.

Where did I go wrong?

Re-explained adoption.  I guess its a process that we continually work on understanding.  Such is life.

Life with Jadon = Never dull.

He’s going to bed early  Rarely riding the bus. Learning much. Playing hard.

“I think that kindergarten is more fun than high school.”  --Jadon, first week of Kindergarten

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Kiahna:

Kiahna is doing very well!  Her first weeks of preschool have gone great (to my knowledge)  I am thrilled!  She wants to go.  She likes to go.  She is talking about it more.  I am SO grateful. 

She told some friends the other night after they asked what she is learning in school, “To be nice.”  This is so true.  She is.

She had her birthday.  She had her party.  2 in fact.  One just last night. 

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She is LOVING the gift I got her…& my mom adapted to have the right school letters on it…

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Wearing it every place I will allow her to…

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What spreads cheer like a 5-year-old cheerleaders who’s favorite song is “the school song!”  Followed closely by “the star spangled banner”

Maybe she’s been to too many games?

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Is there such a thing?? :)

If you visited my photo blog you saw I took a new group pictures of my kiddos too… Vote on your favorite editing option in the comments over there…

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I am blessed.

Pam