YOUR Gonna Miss This… Moment… Week 25

Welcome to week 25 of Your Gonna Miss This… Moment.  If you have never joined us, it is time for you to step up and be blessed!  It is a blessing to write about these times… even when we wonder if we will truly ever even miss them!! 

I have a very special treat for you today… I’ve invited a guest to write this post… after making a comment, earlier this week about something he would miss, I thought it would be nice for him to write about it… and since he didn’t write about what he commented to me earlier, I guess I can ask him to do this again sometime!  So without further ado… here’s my dad…

I’m writing a YGMTM from a unique perspective. You see, I’ve gone through the time where we raised our four wonderful daughters from babies to young mothers. I sure do miss the special moments we spent driving in my work van playing “riddly riddly ree”, or countless other moments of fun and frustration. What makes my perspective unique is those days are gone with my daughters, and I do miss them, but I’ve been given another opportunity with my grandkids. I actually have 5 times more opportunities to have YGMTMs with them because I have 5 times more grandkids. I am blessed beyond measure, but I know now more than ever how fleeting my time is with them.

So, that said, I will share one of my moments with them that I will surely miss the most. You see, I have found something out about me that I didn’t know 25 years ago. I have this “gift” to tell amazingly silly stories to wide-eyed young people that make absolutely no sense, have no purpose, but make us all laugh uncontrollably. I don’t mean to be proud because they really are pretty lame stories, like the one about the light bulbs that decided to fly away, or the cricket that wanted to be a grasshopper; for them, the sillier the better. Some of my grandkids are too old and I’m OK with that, but I’m sure gonna miss “Grandpa, tell me one of your stories….”

So I challenge you, give it a shot. Let you mind go, and spin a tale where fish can talk and light bulbs can fly. You never know, you may just be the best comedian your kids ever heard.

ps: I don’t think it’s the story we tell, I really think it’s the time we spend with them that they like the best. God Bless!

Alan

Thanks for writing that dad!  Isn’t that great!  Leave him a comment, won’t you??  Now, how about the rest of you? Won’t you join us this week?  You can go back to this post and read the guidelines.

iWantANewMarriage

Someone needs to check this out with me today….

IWantANewMarriage

Just your luck…

Studying with Beth Moore does this to me… I cry… I think… I ponder… I learn… I change.  I can’t describe accurately the feeling I get when I begin a new study with Beth…

If you’d have told me years ago that I would ever be this excited about studying the Bible, I would have completely not understood!  My heart was racing and I was so thrilled to open the latest study of hers this week… Esther

Here is a link to the promo…

Did you catch this comment in the promo? 

“Can anybody use a Bible study for when no obvious miracle comes.  Does that mean you have no God, and God is not with you?  Or maybe is there some really good theology in, I can’t find Him, but I know He’s there.”

This is the Bible Study for me in this time…and you are so lucky, because when I am excited about something, I want to shout it from the mountain tops!  That’s just how I am!  So, if you are in this study or  want to be in this study, I hope you come along with me and tell me how it is touching you!!  You know you’ll be hearing from me!

… so here we go… it’s always a ride… Finding our destiny…

Pam

Hi/Lo Thursday

This post is part of "Hi/Lo Thursday" on the Riggs Family Blog. Check out their blog to read everyone else's "Hi/Lo" posts and get your link on their site.

Hi:  One high for the week was starting a new Bible Study!  Esther, by Beth Moore.  Meeting with two very good friends and having adult conversation!  UNINTERRUPTED!! 

I have a deep love for studying the Word of God with Beth.  She is such a blessing to my life.

Lo:  The kids are off of school today, because of thick fog this morning… so another day of school into the summer for us.  Bummer.

Pam

I heart Faces: Black & White

This week’s category is Black and White… go check out all the beautiful faces…

Pam

Wild week…

Wow, this has been a busy week.  I am fighting overwhelm and in need of a slow down.  A break would be nice too… we will see about that…

Monday morning I took Kiahna to her third day of preschool.  Dropped Jadon off at his preschool, and went to get groceries, and eat breakfast with my sil, Judy.  Went back and picked up J & K at their preschools, came home and put away the groceries… decided to go to a roller skating party that night.  Then decided that since I was going to travel to the city with the stores that are not WALMART, I should really get swim suits for James and Zach… so that led me to pick up Leah, Lucas, and Zach from school… drive to the city… shop for 2 hours, eat dinner in the drive through, and then go to the skating party.

Why that was a bad idea?  Shopping. 5 kids. 1 adult. agenda. bad idea.  Jadon, who hasn’t been to a mall in years I am guessing, didn’t know how to act.  Thought it was great fun to run around and play.  Got in trouble.  Didn’t like that. 

WHAT WAS I THINKING?

I knew it was a bad idea, but i still did it… we needed swim suits.  We were going to the city.  You can’t do that every day when you live where we do!  We are leaving for Florida in almost three weeks.  Swim suits are the one thing we had to have. 

Sanity.  Yeah, that is optional.

The skating ended up being lots of fun.

A HUGE bright spot and blessing this week, was to come home and find that an angel had made a bunch of meals and felt that she was to bring them to US!!  I am so touched by God’s continual lavish love on us… and this amazing community that listens to His voice and takes care of those in need around them.

Tuesday, began with Leah’s alarm clock waking Jadon and Kiahna and NOT LEAH!  It was 6:30 and they were up and I was not pleased.  Then Kiahna decided to lock herself in the bathroom and was holding the push button lock so that no one could get in.  Just in case you are wondering, this is not a good way to start a day…

I decided I really needed to participate in the Tackle it Tuesday carnival again.  It has been so long since I did that, and my house was screaming for my attention.  So, I began to tackle, but never got to the part where I actually get to post about it… oh well.

I did clean out my closet, and get rid of a whole garbage sack of clothes…

I totally think that Fly Lady has the corner on how to keep things under control.. now if only I could get myself to stop deleting their e-mails, and stop being a fly-baby after, oh, what, 6 or 7 years of attempting this route? 

In 15 minutes I had weeded through my half of the closet, and in another 15 I had things thrown away, and bagged up to give away… room put back in order, even swept and dusted!

I tackled Jadon and Lucas’ room too…

Before: 

During:

After:

Took out two large stacks of outgrown-not being worn clothes… checked for shorts to wear in Florida…

 

…folded tons of laundry… went through mounds of clutter… swept some… dusted some… found the kitchen counter… lost it again… shined the sink…

SO THANKFUL to have a meal from the freezer to pop in!  WHOO HOO!!!

Left to take Lucas to a bb game that he was to play during 1/2 time of the JV game.  From there we went to a 4-H meeting… and J & K got high on ice cream and homeade bars… uhg. 

Came home, put them to bed, and sat down to write on my blog… only to find that Kiahna had again gotten out of bed and locked the bathroom door again!!  Holding the lock so that the key wouldn’t work.  Can I say, this is not a good way to end a day either. 

Today, did the preschool round again.  Kiahna cried for me this time when I left.  The teacher said that she cried for an hour after I left.  I hate that.  But, she also said that she thinks Kiahna is doing very well for only 4 days into this… and that the crying wasn’t a tempter tantrum, just loud crying. 

I went and volunteered in Lucas’ class while they were at preschool today.  I realized this morning that we hadn’t studied his spelling words yet this week.  Another sign we are too busy!  I got to grade the tests while I was there… yeah.  Bad, Bad, Bad. 

While I was at the school, Zach and I met with the guidance counselor to go over his schedule for next year.  It is overwhelming to hear them talk about his senior year, and know full well how fast it will all go. 

Swept out my van, letting them eat in there, snack in there, do homework in there on Monday night… DISASTER!!

Is there any doubt why I am exhausted?

Tonight Zach has AAU bb games….. when my dad said he was going to go, I decided I was going to stay home.  I am finding myself in that place of overwhelm that I just want to cry for no reason… a rest will be good for me tonight… and J & K can get to bed early…

They were playing in the mud this afternoon… it is 50 degrees and sunny… well the sun is gone now, and it looks like it could rain, but it was sunny earlier… and I have muddy clothes to tend to.  And Zach got to go out and clean up the toilet paper, since the snow is melted now… he was pleased about that.

  

We are enjoying, yet another frozen meal tonight… I am putting kids to bed early… after we study spelling words of course, and read… and then I think I will take a long, hot bath, and try to relax.  Wish me luck.

Pam

Not Me! Monday!!

It’s Monday, and we are all coming clean with all the things that we did NOT do this past week!  Won’t you join me, MckMama, and the rest of the blog world, for some free therapy!?!

 

None of these conversations took place at my house this week…Nope.

 

Jadon:  Kiahna said the “D” word.

 

Me:  What’s the “D” word?

 

Jadon:  Dog!

 

 

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Kiahna:  Jadon, Eat your food.

 

Jadon:  You’re not the boss!

 

Kiahna:  Yes, I am.  I’m the little boss.

 

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Me:  Kiahna, what are you doing?

 

Kiahna:  Mommy.  Don’t say that.

 

Me:  What did I say?  I just want to know what you are doing.  So what is the answer?

 

Kiahna:  I AM NOT A PANTHER!

 

Me:  ?????????

 

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Lucas didn’t get an A+ on his science test this week!!  His wonderful teacher didn’t give him an award for it!

 

He didn’t make this awesome log cabin for Indiana History class all on his own, out of pretzel rods, graham crackers and cereal either….

 

 

Jadon and Kiahna were not kept busy for hours playing with glue, scissors, and construction paper… they didn’t use lip gloss as glue either… Not J & K!

 

It’s not becoming a daily routine for them to spend a long time “swimming”…

 

 

We did not get TP-ed AGAIN! What is this 4 times this winter?  Nope.

 

That is not a bale of straw at the end of our driveway… pulled over from the neighbor's field across the road.  Nope.

 

 

We are not considering getting a second dog, because this one is not warning us that there are people outside at 2:00 in the morning…

 

Either that or we somehow uglify this boy… to keep the girls away…because it sure isn’t his girl-friends that keep coming in all climates to do this to us!  Not Zach!

 

James didn’t shave his legs for sectional swimming… with MY RAZOR! NOPE!  Not James!

 

Leah didn’t have her friend Macy over, and they didn’t ask if they could make dinner.  They didn’t want to surprise me and ask if they could make anything they wanted.  Of course, I didn’t tell them yes.  They didn’t make mac & cheese with homemade french fries.  Nope. 

 

 

Now, go on over to MckMama’s place and play along!  Or leave me a comment telling us what You didn’t do this week!! 

 

Pam

 

 

 

 

Swimming Sectional

Yesterday James swam in the sectional swim meet.  They had qualified on Thursday night to swim in the race for first place.  They were seated 6th, in the 200 Yd. Freestyle Relay.

It was quite the production, I’d not been to a swimming sectional before.  They were introduced and filed in to music.  (James is the second one)

James swam second… here he is ready to go…

He swam a personal best!

The team cut 2 seconds off their qualifying time and ended up in 5th place!

1 minute 38.81 seconds.

Congratulations Boys!!

(yeah, he’s the one flexing)

A successful season of building strength and endurance, in one of the hardest sports that you can participate in! 

On to track… Monday…

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On another note, James calmed down and accepted his consequences on Friday night… even after saying he didn’t care what I did to him, he was going to go.  He did the right thing. 

I thank God for that.  I thank you for praying for him… I believe it made a huge difference. 

He is speaking to me again, and is doing the study time I have asked him to do… so we press on…

PRAISE GOD!!

Pam

YOUR Gonna Miss This… Moment… Week 24

It’s that time of the week again… what are you going to miss?  Would you like to write a post and tell us about it?  Link it up here and let us come over and give you some comment love?  I’d love to have you join me!  If you're new you can read the YOUR GONNA MISS THIS guidelines here.

This week, when mid-term grades came out, James got the worst grade any of my kids have ever gotten.  New ground.  Today we are in day 2 of his restricted life, and he is testing me as I type.  Hard to focus on the good things about our kids when they are pushing us in ways that make us wonder what they would taste like for dinner!

James is a good kid.  He has a good head on his shoulders.  He is responsible.  And I don’t have trust issues with him.  He has a perfectionist personality and likes to have things just so.  (Just not his room, and now his grades.)

He is pretty discouraged with his Spanish class and says that he doesn’t even know why he tries, he won’t pass.   In a conference yesterday with his teacher, I think she understands that something has failed in getting James to understand how to conjugate a verb… I hope that something can click.  And the extra studying I am requiring of James helps.

In the midst of all that, I have to think.  There is nothing here to miss…. nothing.  This is hard.  Enforcing consequences is hard.  Seeing your kid discouraged is hard.  Having them debate your punishment and having to go to even more consequences is hard. 

So why do I choose this as my moment?

Because I need to focus on the positive

He is in the school musical this year, his first speaking part.  He wears that silly black hat all the time.  (a nice alternative to dying his hair black, which has been mentioned…)

.

Last night his relay team made it to the final round of sectional swimming… we will go watch that on Saturday…

 

He’s settled into a new friendship with his ex-girlfriend, not by his choice, but he’s handling it okay. (I think?)

Our school has an amazing choir of about 60 high school students.  They go around and sing at local churches on Sunday evenings.  I took a video last Sunday, it’s not a good video to look at, too far back and someone's head keeps getting in the way, but if you turn on the sound you can hear them at least…

Make a Smilebox slideshow

 

So Lord Jesus, I pray for James.  I pray that with Your help we will make it through these days, days with much joy and fun and activity, but days when we need to learn some hard lessons too.  Help me be the Mother and The Father to this son of mine, as only YOU can help me to be.  My heart breaks when I have to discipline him, and he gets so upset.  Help me be strong, and not give in to the temptation to just let it go.  No one wins then.  But, I can’t do it on my own.  I need Your strength.  Thank You Jesus.  In Your Name.  Amen.

PS… and if my dad wants to come home tonight and You want to give him the ability to fix all this for me, that would work for me too! ;)

Even though you don’t think so now James, I do Love you….

…won’t you join me in my weekly tribute to things we are going to miss…. or maybe not so much miss… but then the season ends… and there is so much to miss.

Forgiveness Comments… and Hi/Lo Thursday

I thank those of you who left me such encouraging comments yesterday on my post about forgiveness.  I am touched that you were touched. 

I checked, my blog got 193 hits yesterday.  This post got 11 comments.  I wonder if the 182 of you who looked at the post, and didn’t comment, thought… she’s just crazy.  Out of her mind.  Delusional. 

Or maybe you thought, yeah that is fine for her… but she didn’t have x, y, and z done to her.

Or was it, he must be some great catch, to want him back so bad.

Or maybe the pain is just too raw, and maybe I don’t have the right words to speak to just everyone’s hearts…

Let me address a few of those unasked questions…

Yes, I’m crazy!  ;)

I have purposely not exposed HSSH’s failings on this blog.  But, that doesn’t mean they aren’t there. I’d talk to anyone personally, or by e-mail if you wanted to get more in depth with me on the specific things you are struggling to forgive and the specific things that God has helped me to forgive.

Please don’t think this is easier for someone else than it would be for you.  Forgiveness is not easy for any of us.

In fact, as I was thinking about this more yesterday, I wondered about the things that happen to us that are not maybe so HUGE and UGLY, but smaller and kind of like a pebble in your shoe.  Maybe that is the thing that you really need to forgive.  Not a huge thing, by man’s standard, but God doesn’t see sins on the levels that man does, does He.

What if your pain is too raw?  Too recent?  Too much?  What if it just doesn't stop even if I forgive and forgive?  What if it is just too hard?  What if no one understands? 

Someone always understands.  No matter where you are in the matter.  years past.  In the midst.  Or just a raw, open, oozing sore that is continually being ripped open.  God knows.  He sees.  He hears.  He never misses a tear… He feels the pain with you. 

“Those who sow in tears will reap with songs of joy”

Psalms 126:5

“You've kept track of my every toss and turn through the sleepless nights,  Each tear entered in your ledger, each ache written in your book.”

Psalms 56:8 (msg)

I write all this with scars that are very fresh.  From wounds that couldn’t seem to heal, because they were constantly being torn open again and again by my circumstances.  My doubt.  My worry.  My disappointment.  My unforgiveness.   

There is no pride in what I write here.  Only confession and glory to God who has brought me through it, this far.  Yes, I am a little crazy.  Crazy enough to believe that God can do this in all of us, if only we will let Him… because I am feeling it in myself.

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This post is part of "Hi/Lo Thursday" on the Riggs Family Blog. Check out their blog to read everyone else's "Hi/Lo" posts and for a chance to win $100.

 

How about a few Hi/Lo Thursday things today…

Hi…

• I won over $200 by doing this post last week!  If they offer a prize again, I’ll take my name from the drawing!!  ;)  So go give it a try yourself!!
• My parents are returning from their never ending 12 day vacation tomorrow!! 
• I got my furniture put back in place after the water we had come in last week! I even got things scrubbed down and organized as I put it all back!
• Kiahna’s second day at her new preschool went much better than her first one!
• In one month we will be leaving, with my parents (yes, they get to go again! but this probably doesn't count as a true “vacation” for them!) and my sister, bil, and their 4 kids for FLORIDA!!  SPRING BREAK!!!  11 kids (James is taking a friend) 5 adults. 3 vans.  It’s an adventure, to say the least!
• Most of those things that were making me crazy on Monday, I can’t even remember now!

Lo…

• James isn’t doing so hot in Spanish class.  (trying to be kind here)  Consequences are in place.  Consequences that he, of course, believes are totally unfair.  And I struggle, again, with the reality that I am doing this alone.  And that is still hard.
• I had a conversation with Kiahna this week.  She was telling me something, about “dads”. 
• Me:  “Do you have a dad?”
• K:  “No!”
• Me:  “Yes you do, his name is ‘J’. 
• K:  “NO! ‘J’ is NOT my dad!  James is my dad” 
• Me: uhg.  “No, James is your brother. ‘J’ is your dad.”
• K:  “No.  Jadon is my brother.”
• Me:  “No, you have 4 brothers, James, Zach, Lucas, and Jadon.” (holding up 4 fingers)
• K:  “oh”

Oh Lord, help me know how to help them. 

Pam

The Miracle of Forgiveness.

Forgiveness Blows My Mind!  God’s forgiveness of me, daily… as I muddle my way through this life.  Sometimes having victory, sometimes not so much…

The forgiveness that is on my mind tonight is the forgiveness that God has planted deep in my heart for my ex-husband.  I don’t know how it got there.  God put it there.  HSSH has never, to my recollection, since he walked out over three years ago asked for it. 

I have Beth Moore’s Book, Praying God's Word.  I believe that is where the forgiveness began for me.  This is one book that I haven’t put back on the shelf… I go back to it over and over again.  Praying.

If you have a copy, go to page 240, the heading says “Praying for the person you need to forgive”.

And there it begins.

I truly don’t believe I would feel like I do, if I had not learned to pray for HSSH.  I wish I could read you the whole 4 pages Beth contributes to this topic in the book…

“After Job had prayed for his friends, the Lord made him prosperous again and gave him twice as much as he had before… The Lord blessed the latter part of Job’s life more than the first” (Job 42:10,12). 

Because Job was willing to bless those who hurt them when his human nature would have been to curse them, God was liberated to open the floodgates of heaven and pour out blessings on his life.  He will undoubtedly do the same thing for us.  God will prosperous us when we’re willing to put our human inclinations on the altar and respond His way instead.  Let’s not be afraid to do the hard thing.  To this we were called.  And we will inherit a blessing.”

I don’t know why, but I believed this when I read it.  And it was hard. hard. hard the first 50 or so times I prayed for him in the way the book suggests.  I wanted to be angry and wish curses on him for all he had done to me and my kids.  For leaving me with all this responsibility and all these burdens. 

Beth ends the section, right before she gives verses to pray, with this…

“Will the person you’re praying for change?  Will they receive the blessing you’ve mustered all the courage to ask God for?  Maybe.  Maybe not.  That’s up to them.  But will your heart change, will you find freedom to forgive, and will you receive blessing?  Absolutely!  Take God at His Word and find out.  Please use the Scriptures that apply to your situation, then seek out your own from God’s Word and pray earnestly!  I’m not sure God ever honors a prayer more than the one that was hardest for us to pray.”

I am very sad to say that as of yet, I have not seen any change in HSSH because of my prayers.  I did have a civil phone conversation with him last week… a crumb in the grand canyon of the problem… but no change that my eyes have seen… yet.

But, the change in me.  That’s been very amazing.  Now, when I hear anyone speak against HSSH for what he has done, my heart hurts for the person speaking it.  When I hear someone doubting God’s ability to work in a heart that is so far strayed.  My heart hurts for them.  Being angry at HSSH for this doesn't help anyone, it sure has never made me feel any better about the situation.

Have you read the book The Shack?  I’ve read it twice now.  I know some people don’t like it.  I read some negative comments of it, and had to go re-read it again… it’s deep.  It touches me.  I don’t know.  I don’t have an issue with it… anyway… the end of the book.  The main character Mack, dealing with forgiveness for the man who murdered his daughter…

“Papa simply let the torrent rush out of Mack, waiting for the wave to pass..

‘Mack, for you to forgive this man is for you to release him to me and allow me to redeem him.’

‘Redeem him!’  Again, Mack felt the fire of anger and hurt.  ‘I don’t want you to redeem him!  I want you to hurt him, to punish him, to put him in hell…’  His voice trailed off.

Papa waited patiently for the emotions to ease.

‘I’m stuck, Papa.  I just can’t forget what he did, can I?’ Mack implored.

‘Forgiveness is not about forgetting, Mack.  It is about letting go of another person’s throat.’

‘But I thought you forget our sins?’

‘Mack, I am God.  I forget nothing.  I know everything.  So forgetting for me is the choice to limit myself. Son,’  Papa’s voice got quiet and Mack looked up at him, directly into his deep brown eyes, ‘because of Jesus, there is now no law demanding that I bring your sins back to mind.  They are gone when it comes to you and me, and they run no interference in our relationship.’

‘But this man…’

‘He too is my son.  I want to redeem him.’

‘So what then? I just forgive him and everything is okay,and we become buddies?’  Mack stated softly but sarcastically…’I don’t think I can do this,’

‘I want you to.  Forgiveness is first for you, the forgiver,” answered Papa, ‘to release you from something that will eat you alive; that will destroy your joy and your ability to love fully and openly…’

‘So forgiveness does not require me to pretend what he did never happened?’

‘How can you?  You forgave your dad last night.  Will you ever forget what he did to you?’

‘I don’t think so.’

‘But now you can love him in the face of it.  His change allows for that.  Forgiveness in no way requires that you trust the one you forgive.  But should they finally confess and repent, you will discover a miracle in your own heart that allows you to reach out and begin to build between you a bridge of reconciliation.  And sometimes—and this may seem incomprehensible to you right now—that road may even take you to the miracle of fully restored trust.’”

Forgiveness isn’t easy.  Especially when the person that you are forgiving isn’t changing.  Isn't asking for it.  Doesn’t appear to even care.  Forgiveness is something that I have had to practice daily… some days hourly. 

God has been faithful to give the grace to do it.  Some times taking more time than others… but so far.  So good.

My kids… I hope they understand.  I can’t forgive for them.  They have to do it themselves.  They have been told it is not a one time thing… but I don’t know if they really understand. 

I pray that they do.

I pray that one day, HSSH will confess and repent for what he has said and done… and not done… and a bridge to reconciliation can be built for each of us.

Soon, Lord.  Soon.

Pam

As the fog begins to clear…

Last night as the fog began to clear, and I actually was surviving the evening… I realized that I had let it happen again… the thought that came to my mind was that phrase… “choke”.

I thought, I remember hearing Beth Moore talk about that.  Realizing then that this is what happens to me so often, and had happened again. 

For me it can become almost a physical feeling….maybe some would call it an anxiety attack?  I don’t know… but all the little things… they pile up… and yes.  I begin to worry instead of pray.  I begin to panic rather than trust.  I see the negative rather than the positive.  I fear the worst and fear the future.  It happened.  Again.

I wanted to read the notes I had on what Beth had said on “choke”, then I remembered I had written here about it.  In a quick search of the word “frustration” I found it.  Sure enough.  An exact description again…

Friday morning I was reading through some notes I took at the Beth Moore conference we went to in August.

She used the parable of the sower in Luke 8 as her text.  She was on the part about the seed that was choked out by the weeds.  She used the term, “Stop the choke”.

Oh yeah, I am feeling the choke.

And low and behold, would you believe, she said that the choke is WORRY? Darn…. he was right… this is worry…

Here are the notes I took…

• Anxiety chokes the Word right out of us.
• Exactly the time we need God most, we feel Him the least because we’re worrying this thing so much we’re choking the Word out of us.
• How do we get that choke hold off of us?
• Philippians 4:6..."Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God"
• Anytime we are all anxiety ridden our feeling is loss of control (hummm...)
• Speak truth over it.
• Warriors not worriers.
• Every time we show and anxious spirit we show the enemy we're not trusting God with it.
• Immaturity says I insist on life feeling good. 
• This is a trap for a life of bondage and addiction.
• He'll use your pain to birth your passion
• You will not lack on Spiritual gift that you need to fulfill your destiny.
• All that will matter when we're done here is that life mattered.
• Testify that Gods' Word heals and restores, make the devil wish that he hadn't messed with you!
• You don't have to live in hysteria and chaos. 
• Let HIM change your day.

Sometimes I feel like I will never learn.  My personality of perfection coming out again.  Wanting to learn something once and not get tripped up by it again.  Just isn’t reality is it? 

I thank you for prayers and nice comments… I am blessed to be able to be honest and real with you.  I am thankful that this is a safe place for me to be so. 

I am going to let HIM change my day today!  One moment at a time.

Pam

How bout an update?

I could really use an unloading about now… would you like to share my burden?  Help me leave it at the cross?  Pray? 

After The Riggs Family's post about my winning their contest, my blog got 554 hits yesterday!  WOW!  I think I gained some new readers, some have introduced themselves. 

If you are a new reader.  Welcome!  I am sure glad to have you along, and glad to hear from you.  Sorry, you arrived to such a dismal post… won’t you bare with me…

James:  AAARRRRGGGGG!!!!!  I am not happy at this moment with this child!  I just saw one of his grades for his mid term.  Now I have to ground him.  la la la la la… are we having fun yet???   Otherwise… he’s been doing well.  He is going to a concert tonight that I am less than thrilled about. (lucky for him, I found out about the grade too late to keep him home from this tonight) I am praying that he and his friends are turned off by what they see there, and not enticed.  Please, Lord.  Swimming is almost over, track is starting.  He has a speaking part in the spring musical.  He is singing with the swing choir.  Too busy to study I guess… ahem.  Praying for strength, wisdom, and my dad to come home and take care of this for me!  ;)

Zach:  He’s doing pretty well.  Ever wanting to be on the go.  What I’ve seen of his grades are pretty good.  He’s between sports seasons, but not really… he is doing AAU Basketball and playing one night a week (tonight) and in a couple of weekend tournaments, coming up.  We have freshman orientation this week for next year… he’s so ready… I’m so not ready!

Leah:  Going well.  Growing up.  She is going to need all new clothes again this spring.  Wow.  How does that happen so quickly?

Lucas:  Doing good too.  Working hard.  Look for pictures of a log cabin that we are working on this week. 

Jadon:  I just got the packet for his kindergarten registration today.  He’s been doing very well in his preschool.  No issues at all that I am aware of.  This is such a blessing.  He did throw two temper tantrums today, that make me think that he may be one that is into the drama department one day too. :)

Kiahna:  Today was the first day of her new preschool.  It sounded like a challenging day, but this teacher is taking it in stride.  I made her an appointment with our counselor for this week… it’s been a long while.  I need some support in this.  I am feeling very overwhelmed.

The carpet is dry.  I had to call someone to relay it for me though.  Waiting to hear back from them on when that will be.   So things are still torn up around here.  Add that to the normal clutter and chaos I tolerate… that’s overwhelming too.

I’ve gotta go now, the bus just came, homework… dinner?  and then running off to Zach’s game.

Sometimes I just need a good cry.  Today is one of those days.

Pam

Not Me! Monday!

Nothing makes Monday’s better than joining MckMama and friends with “Not me! Monday!”

It was Not Me, that won $100 on The Riggs Family Blog this weekend! 

It wasn’t Me that was blessed to have that prize doubled by them after they heard part of my story!  Nope.

My basement window well did not flood last week, sending a water fall of muddy water into my basement.  Not Me.

   

We did not receive 4 inches of rain that day.  Leaving large crevices in many roads… including ours.

Jadon does not deal with hyperactivity that becomes worse with sugar intake and red dye… Valentine’s Day is not a nightmare for children like that.

We were not blessed with a sunny, calm 45 degree day that felt like spring had arrived on Friday.

None of my kids wanted to get out the garden hose or have a bon-fire, because they were sure that winter had ended.  Nope.

Jadon and Kiahna did not take off through the muddy field to the neighbor’s house on Friday when the weather was so nice… (see those small dark dots just to the right of the middle tree?  That’s not them.)

I didn’t have to drive over there to pick them up.  Kiahna did not have on her best dress shoes when she left on this excursion… and her brown shoes were not gone when I got to them.  Nope, They weren’t in that muddy field.

My children didn’t play outside with bare feet in February.  It had nothing to do with all of their shoes being muddy, and me not having the common sense to dig out boots.  Nope.

… Cause I was not having a melt down over the mud…

…there was no mud in my van…

For the safety of all children in sight, I did not give myself a 2 mile walk/run time out… AND call a friend to escape go out to dinner with that night.  Nope.  Not me. 

Lucas, fearing his mother had finally went off the deep end, is not the sweetest child ever.  He did not search that field and find Kiahna’s shoes…  Nope.  Not Lucas…

I didn’t make a full mental recovery by Saturday, and have the sense, and grace to enjoy my 6 Valentine’s!  Nope.

We didn’t have heart shaped pancakes for breakfast…

Zach didn’t think my heart pancakes were silly… and I didn’t catch him texting his friends to tell them about them later… Nope.

Lucas didn’t say that he had a broken heart!

We didn’t end the day with a great steak dinner at home all together….

I didn’t cry at dinner when I read them my friend’s email she sent this week. 

We are not starting our own prayer bowl at our table.  Nope.  Not us.

Pam