Catchup

It’s Labor Day.

My 4 oldest are all off somewhere.

My 2 youngest are arguing over new toys.

I’ve spent the better of the weekend playing with pictures.

My house is showing the results of that.

It’s time for an update here though.

Time for some words rather than all pictures.

But, there will be pictures. For sure.

I think when I last left you with some personal thoughts about myself, I was talking about beef stew… there is more to that you know…

Last Saturday, I had the privilege of hearing one of my favorite teachers, Beth Moore, live, via simulcast.  Beth feels like a close friend to me, if you’ve walked this road long with me, you know that already. 

God has used Beth’s words to walk me through some tough (understatement of the century) days, and to say some hard stuff.  He’s also used them to encourage me & enlighten me.  Bring freedom to my soul. To speak His truth until I began to believe Him down to the marrow of my bones.

This time was not different.

The worship brought tears to my eyes, until I couldn’t contain them … so much thankfulness in my heart.  Thankfulness that God has brought me through living hell & that I have joy in my life again.

How do I put words to what my heart feels?  I can’t.  I really can’t.  He really is good.  All the time.  He really can work miracles in our hearts if we will let Him.  Even when the circumstances are unchanged. 

I think that’s the thing that gets me the most.  I didn’t believe that I could feel peace.  Could live life.  Could get on with things.  Not without changed circumstances.  I really didn’t believe it was possible.

Beth spoke on Psalms 37.  A chapter that God has brought me to over and over again in the past.  One reason that I have went to that chapter is that it talks about the evil around us and how much it seems that people get away with.  How unfair things feel.  How often doing the right things doesn’t seem to matter.  Admit it.  On earth it doesn’t feel like it matters sometimes.  And I long to understand that.  And to have peace with that.  And to still believe God despite that…

“Do not fret because of evil men or be envious of those who do wrong”

Psalms 37:1

Beth focused on the forth verse of this chapter for the bulk of the day.  The verse says…

“Delight yourself in the LORD and he will give you the desires of your heart”

Psalms 37:4

What are the desires of our hearts?  One quote from Beth that was huge & takes some meditating on…

“Beneath the desires of our hearts is the heart of our desires”  --Beth Moore

What do you read there?  That’s deep.  You may have to write it down and pray about it like I am.

I want my heart’s desires to match up with God’s.  I have to go back over and over again and wonder if my heart’s desire to see a restored marriage is me or God.  I want to believe it’s God.  I do.  Could it become me?  Could it become my desire to not be wrong.  My pride.  My desire for a perfect, happy ending?  My desire for a storybook life?  Yes.  All too easily.

I am so thankful that God is faithful to continue to speak to me on this issue.  Because I, in my flesh, in my contentment with my new normal, could easily say, “forget it”.  In fact I am quite happy with the way things are.  Putting a man like HSSH back in my life anytime soon would just mess with me all over again.  And even though I am so amazed by how God gets us through trials like this… I would NEVER willingly jump back into trial & tribulation & stress & yougetthepoint again.

So, I am listening to Beth… she is in the audience speaking to the ladies there.  She is asking them to tell her what they took away from the message on Friday evening.  One lady says to Beth, I have been praying for something for 15 years and your message last night just encouraged me so much to not give up.

Beth replies to her that she shouldn’t give up on that thing until “God releases her”.

My heart hears… “you have not been released, you can’t give up.”  I know what He’s talking about.

Later on, Beth is talking about three things that rob our joy…

Her quote was…

“What’s taking a bite out of my personal delight?  Because delight is our right.”

Beth used the acronym “JAW” to help us remember what is “biting” away at our delight.  JAW stands for Jealousy, Anger, & Worry.

Uh-huh…

So she is talking about jealousy, and asking what we are jealous about.  I am sitting there thinking about that.  Of course there is an argument in my mind.  Am I really jealous about that?  No, I don’t think I am.  Maybe.  Maybe that?

Beth suddenly says…

“We may say ‘they have my husband’ I promise you God’s gonna deal with that”

O. My. Word. How does God do that?  How does He do that?  HOW DOES HE DO THAT??  He is amazing!  Amazing I say. 

All that being said to say.  I am living in the most peaceful place I have been in in years.  I am loving it.  I am amazed by it.  I am still believing & praying for a miracle in my dead marriage.  But, it isn’t holding me captive.

God is Good.

Pam

Beautiful…

On Saturday we had the BIG party for Grandma’s 100th Birthday!  Family came from near and far to be with her.  Many, many of us are near… but I have a cousin & his family who live in Laos, that made it home for this party. And a cousin from Alaska who made it too!  Some came from Indy, but the large majority of us live very nearby.

Grandma was trilled with the pictures I took from her first party… I had Leah & 3 of my sister’s girls make them into two posters to put up at the party…

I don’t think I have ever had a reason to notice that you can buy balloons & napkins with “100” on them!

One of my talented cousins made her a beautiful, huge cake!   Was she not just the most beautiful 100 year old you have ever seen!!

We had our picture taken with her too…

James was at work and wasn’t able to get to the party.  But I was glad that he took my advice and stopped to visit her this week at her house. 

I had to think of Grandma this week as we watched the final video of Beth Moore’s Esther study.  (yes, we finally finished!) 

Beth was talking about it being “tough being a woman in a world where beauty is a treatment”.  Isn’t that the truth.

“In man’s realm, time diminishes beauty.  In God’s realm where we will spend forever, time perfects beauty.”

“Beauty in God’s  realm is not a treatment, it’s destiny”

Beth Moore, Esther Video 10

Amen, Beth.  Amen.

Pam

So, I’m not feeling angry…

…and that is a good thing.  Right?

Instead I feel pain. 

So, those are my choices? 

Hurt & Rejection or Anger & Bitterness.

The other night I was reading another portion of the book From Battle Scars to Beauty Marks by Ellie Lofaro…

“At that point, I didn’t hate him anymore.  I actually felt nothing for him.  I had no feelings whatsoever.  I didn’t hate him; I didn’t anything him.  That is really the opposite of love, by the way, not having any feelings for anybody.  Hatred means you are really tied in with very strong love and disappointment in the person you still have such deep feelings for. But you are so hurt you hate them.  I didn’t feel anything.”

Okay, so when you put it that way, I guess it is a good thing that I have these feelings.  I don’t want to be numb.  I don’t want to stop caring. 

But, I also don’t want to have to fight the mental battle between anger & love each time I am in the presence of someone.

God? Am I destined to live out this waiting time with all these feelings raging through me?  Is there no other way?

I had peace the other evening when HSSH showed up (not alone once again) at Zach’s game.  I had to fight for it, self talking, the whole time.  But, I did have peace.  My body did not react with physical anxiety.

The next day though, I was just so sad.  Hurt by the betrayal again.  Hurt by the smile on his face.  Hurt that he appears so happy and well adjusted.

Anyone walking by would have thought nothing negative about him.  He’s that smooth.

I, of course, know the truth.  I know the unresolved issues he is dealing with .  I know the financial issues.  The lack of contact he’s had with his children.  The job issues.  I know that you can’t build healthy relationships with people with all the unresolved things going on in your life.  Let alone the fact that you have turned your back on the God you made a covenant to serve!

Can you feel the conflict of emotions I am dealing with? 

God, help me.  Teach me to give them to You.  Help me survive this.

Beth Moore really hit it on the head for me once again this morning too…

It’s Tough Being a Woman who can Balance Passion with Patience…

“Yet the Lord longs to be gracious to you; he rises to show you compassion.  For the LORD is a God of justice.  Blessed are all who wait for Him.”  --Isaiah 30:18

Longing & waiting in this verse are the same Hebrew Word.  ‘The Lord Waits…blessed are all those who wait’

You don’t wait alone.  Longing is part of the waiting.  It wouldn’t be a wait without the longing. 

I found real freedom in the realization, THE LORD IS WAITING TOO!

When your prayer request waits, He’s waiting too.  There is something the wait is for.

It’s tough being a woman—but it is trust that turns it around!

Somehow, God is going to get this whole waiting & trusting bit through my thick skull… and you my beloved readers & friends get to join me in the journey… thanks.

In a couple hours I have another counseling session.  Maybe I’ll get a few more of these wild thoughts tamed! 

Pam

GIVEAWAY #3! COFFEE LOVERS!

Ranked right up there in the top things God created, in my book… comes coffee. I love a warm, creamy, cup of joe in the morning… uuuummmmm… nothing else gets me up out of bed so smoothly…

Here is how I like it… I like it in a big mug. You know the ones that hold like 3 cups of coffee in them… then I add french vanilla flavored creamer. The real cream kind. No powder unless it is an emergency…

I also enjoy grinding my own beans… I think it more for the aroma than anything… I am also not a strong coffee drinker. I like the milder blends. And I use 4 Tbsp of ground coffee to make a 10 cup pot.

Yes. I normally drink the whole pot.

This is how I love to start my day… I curl up in my lazy boy, steamy cup of coffee, blanket, Bible… mornings just don’t start any better, especially if I can watch the sunrise out my front window too.

This is my third giveaway this week. My one year blogoversary week! For the third giveaway I am giving a beautiful big coffee mug, and a package of starbucks coffee beans. Mild Breakfast Blend. My fav! (so if you win, and you decide you’d rather not have this kind of coffee… I’ll just keep it!! ;))

This is what I am thinking about the comments… you tell me how you like your coffee… or if you don’t, and you just want to win the mug and let me keep the coffee (or I could give it to someone else who says they love it and would like to be chosen out of a pot of reserves if the winner doesn’t want it!!) Tell me how you like your coffee… and you can win!

AGAIN. IF YOU HAVE ALREADY OR IF YOU NOW WRITE A POST ON YOUR OWN BLOG TELLING OTHERS ABOUT MY GIVEAWAYS THIS WEEK YOU CAN SIGN UP TWICE…SARAH, CAROL, SUZIE, and CARRIE all did! Leave me the second comment just saying you wrote about it on your blog!

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Did you sign up for GIVEAWAY #2 Cookbook by Dawn Hall yet? You have to go do that! And tell me about your relationship with cooking!

I am loving reading your comments! You are all so hilarious and honest! See why I love you all and give you these fabulous prizes!!

My own relationship with cooking is kind of a love/hate. If I have done the prep work. Made a plan. Bought the groceries. Decided what to make before 4:30 in the afternoon… and there are kids around to clean up. I don’t mind so much.

Now if I don’t have a plan. I’ll probably give you this blank stare and say something like. “Dinner? What’s that?” or “Didn’t we do that yesterday? You mean we do this every day?”

I’ve been enjoying trying new recipes with you all!! I have another one I am going to share right now!! This is a salad that we had on Saturday when Dawn Hall visited our little town and graced us with her testimony! I made it last night for my family (and my sister’s kids). It was all gone! And I was rationing some of them who wanted more!! (Zach didn’t care for it though)

TOSSED SALAD WITH BOLD & HEARTY SALAD DRESSING

1/2 Cup fat-free Italian salad dressing

2 Tbsp. steak sauce

1 (16oz) salad mix

1 cup grape tomatoes

1/2 cup shredded fat free cheddar cheese

1/2 cup fat free croutons

In a salad bowl mix Italian Dressing and steak sauce until well blended. Add salad mix, tomatoes, & cheddar cheese (DO NOT TOSS SALAD) Cover and put in refrigerator to keep chilled. Right before serving toss well and add croutons.

Want to win a book with recipes in it like this! Then go sign up for GIVEAWAY #2

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GIVEAWAY #1 is the biggest giveaway! 6 prizes! 4 chances to sign up!! If you love Beth Moore… you want to make sure you check it out. If you’ve never read any Beth Moore… How about a taste…

Overcoming Pride…

My Name is Pride.

I am a cheater.

You like me because you think I’m always looking out for you.

Untrue.

I’m looking to make a fool of you.

I admit, but don’t worry.

If you stick with me, you’ll never know.

“I will break down your strong pride. I will make your sky like iron and your land like bronze, and your strength will be used up for nothing. Your land will not yield its produce, and the trees of the land will not bear fruit.” -- Leviticus 26:19-20

Praying God's Word by Beth Moore has been a life saver for me. I pick it up on a daily basis. For a chance to win one of these books, or one of three different sets of verse cards you must enter GIVEAWAY #1.

I am also loving the questions you are leaving in the comments for me to answer in future blog posts. I will do that! I am thrilled and sit here smiling when I read them! I’ll give you a taste…

http://bussecrew.blogspot.com/ asked “Which Beth Moore bible studies have you done and which is your favorite?

If I can remember right, I’ve done Breaking Free, Believing God, Daniel, A Woman's Heart God's Dwelling Place, Steppin' Up, Living Beyond Yourself and now, Esther. All of these I have done over a period of weeks in a group of women.

I’ve also done Loving Well, Retreat in a Box, and watched Beth speak live via simulcast twice. No, http://doingthemathcountingmyblessings.blogspot.com/, I’ve never seen Beth Moore in person. Have any of you?

On my own I have done her study of David, 90 days with a Heart Like His, and read her books, When Godly People Do Ungodly Things, and of course Praying God's Word.

My favorite? The one I am doing!! TRUELY! They are all wonderful! Now, I will have to say, I cried the most through Believing God & Breaking Free. They were the first ones I did after HSSH left, so everything made me cry. And God spoke to me through them so much. I think my whole book is highlighted!

I didn’t start doing any of Beth’s studies until after my husband left us. Beth has become like a wonderful friend, ministering to me in the greatest pain I have endured, thus far. And I call her my friend because of that.

Now Go Sign up by leaving comments for GIVEAWAY #1!! And ask the questions that are burning in your mind to ask me!! Now’s your chance!!! ;) (unless your name is Julie L and you know way too much. No need to ask questions!!!)

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Now if you are like me, you have probably completely forgotten that you still need to comment on this post! Telling me about how you like your coffee! To win coffee and a “joy” mug!!

Pam

My First Blogoversary GIVEAWAY

Wow! In just a few days (check the counter on the top right sidebar) it will be my first blogoversary! In some ways it’s hard to believe it’s only been a year, and in others, that it really has been a year!

This blog has grown to be a huge blessing to me. I hope that it has been to you too! I am honored to be walking through this thing called life with such amazing friends, real life and blogging! Thank you for reading. Thank you for praying. Thank you for caring.

In a way to say thank you to my readers, and to celebrate one year of blogging! I have got to host a give away!!

Drum Roll Please…….

I will be giving away one of the books that I have been so blessed by the past few years. You so know it is going to be Beth Moore!

Beth Moore's book, Praying God's Word is one that has stayed on my nightstand, beside my chair, one I have ear marked, and prayed with daily. I am going to give away two copies of this precious book.

Second, I am going to give away one copy of A Quick Word with Beth Moore. This book is one that I don’t yet own, but it is newly published. It is a compiling of memorable quotes and scriptures from the book that I am giving away above, Praying God’s Word. I am sure it will be a treasure.

And last, but definitely not least… I am giving away three sets of Scripture Prayer Cards. These are also inspired by Beth Moore, and

as I myself have been using note cards with scripture on them to help me through my daily fight with divorce, depression, overwhelm, frustration, and anxiety… etc, etc, etc…

I don’t own these either, but am so excited to be giving some away! There are three different topics containing 40 cards. Faith, Victory, and Hope. So, you will win one box of 40 cards on one of these topics.

There will be 6 total winners!

This is how we are going to go about winning. You will have a few ways that you can sign up. First, you can leave me a comment. Any ole’ comment will do. You will be signed up once. If you leave me a second comment telling me that you are in my followers list. You will be signed up twice. A third comment, telling me that you have written about my blogoversary contest on your own blog will get you another entry. And if you are ambitious, you can leave me a comment asking me a question you’d like to have me answer in an upcoming blog post! So, you can comment 4 times, each comment will be an entry, and each comment has to be one of the above topics! Okay? You have 6 days to enter!! I will be picking the winner on March 13, My Blogoversary!

Love,

Pam

Just your luck…

Studying with Beth Moore does this to me… I cry… I think… I ponder… I learn… I change.  I can’t describe accurately the feeling I get when I begin a new study with Beth…

If you’d have told me years ago that I would ever be this excited about studying the Bible, I would have completely not understood!  My heart was racing and I was so thrilled to open the latest study of hers this week… Esther

Here is a link to the promo…

Did you catch this comment in the promo? 

“Can anybody use a Bible study for when no obvious miracle comes.  Does that mean you have no God, and God is not with you?  Or maybe is there some really good theology in, I can’t find Him, but I know He’s there.”

This is the Bible Study for me in this time…and you are so lucky, because when I am excited about something, I want to shout it from the mountain tops!  That’s just how I am!  So, if you are in this study or  want to be in this study, I hope you come along with me and tell me how it is touching you!!  You know you’ll be hearing from me!

… so here we go… it’s always a ride… Finding our destiny…

Pam

Hi/Lo Thursday

This post is part of "Hi/Lo Thursday" on the Riggs Family Blog. Check out their blog to read everyone else's "Hi/Lo" posts and get your link on their site.

Hi:  One high for the week was starting a new Bible Study!  Esther, by Beth Moore.  Meeting with two very good friends and having adult conversation!  UNINTERRUPTED!! 

I have a deep love for studying the Word of God with Beth.  She is such a blessing to my life.

Lo:  The kids are off of school today, because of thick fog this morning… so another day of school into the summer for us.  Bummer.

Pam

As the fog begins to clear…

Last night as the fog began to clear, and I actually was surviving the evening… I realized that I had let it happen again… the thought that came to my mind was that phrase… “choke”.

I thought, I remember hearing Beth Moore talk about that.  Realizing then that this is what happens to me so often, and had happened again. 

For me it can become almost a physical feeling….maybe some would call it an anxiety attack?  I don’t know… but all the little things… they pile up… and yes.  I begin to worry instead of pray.  I begin to panic rather than trust.  I see the negative rather than the positive.  I fear the worst and fear the future.  It happened.  Again.

I wanted to read the notes I had on what Beth had said on “choke”, then I remembered I had written here about it.  In a quick search of the word “frustration” I found it.  Sure enough.  An exact description again…

Friday morning I was reading through some notes I took at the Beth Moore conference we went to in August.

She used the parable of the sower in Luke 8 as her text.  She was on the part about the seed that was choked out by the weeds.  She used the term, “Stop the choke”.

Oh yeah, I am feeling the choke.

And low and behold, would you believe, she said that the choke is WORRY? Darn…. he was right… this is worry…

Here are the notes I took…

• Anxiety chokes the Word right out of us.
• Exactly the time we need God most, we feel Him the least because we’re worrying this thing so much we’re choking the Word out of us.
• How do we get that choke hold off of us?
• Philippians 4:6..."Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God"
• Anytime we are all anxiety ridden our feeling is loss of control (hummm...)
• Speak truth over it.
• Warriors not worriers.
• Every time we show and anxious spirit we show the enemy we're not trusting God with it.
• Immaturity says I insist on life feeling good. 
• This is a trap for a life of bondage and addiction.
• He'll use your pain to birth your passion
• You will not lack on Spiritual gift that you need to fulfill your destiny.
• All that will matter when we're done here is that life mattered.
• Testify that Gods' Word heals and restores, make the devil wish that he hadn't messed with you!
• You don't have to live in hysteria and chaos. 
• Let HIM change your day.

Sometimes I feel like I will never learn.  My personality of perfection coming out again.  Wanting to learn something once and not get tripped up by it again.  Just isn’t reality is it? 

I thank you for prayers and nice comments… I am blessed to be able to be honest and real with you.  I am thankful that this is a safe place for me to be so. 

I am going to let HIM change my day today!  One moment at a time.

Pam

Don’t Worry…

“I’m not worried.”

When I went to a counseling appointment on Thursday night and shared all of the things that had been going on for the past week, after commenting that he was surprised I still had hair, he told me I was worrying.  (I am sure that you all had already realized this too)

Me?

I thought, “no, this isn’t worry”

I am not sure what I thought it was.

Imbalance?

Stress?

My thoughts were...

It’s all HSSH’s fault anyway.  What does any of it matter?

I am stuck in this life, dealing with this man.  I can’t live because HE WILL come and wreck it up if I try.  He has every right to come in and exercise his “parenting time” any time he chooses.

And I am left to deal with it all.

I thought I could live.  I can’t.  HE won’t let me.  I thought I could move on, I can’t HE won’t let me. 

Worried?

No, I’m ticked.  This is crap.  I want out of this.  I want this to stop.

But, it won’t.  It don’t.  It isn’t.

He prayed for me to let go of the worry.

He caught on that I was worried about my life continuing like this forever. 

He told me that it wouldn’t be this way forever.

It’s hard to believe that.

He told me it’s not HSSH that is doing this to me.  It is the worry.  It is the devil’s plan to destroy the peace that God has given me.  HSSH doesn’t have that kind of power.

I can see that.

I still don’t know how to live this out though.

I don’t know how to deal with the disturbance HSSH creates and not let it do this to me.

Friday morning I was reading through some notes I took at the Beth Moore conference we went to in August.

She used the parable of the sower in Luke 8 as her text.  She was on the part about the seed that was choked out by the weeds.  She used the term, “Stop the choke”.

Oh yeah, I am feeling the choke.

And low and behold, would you believe, she said that the choke is WORRY? Darn…. he was right… this is worry…

Here are the notes I took…

• Anxiety chokes the Word right out of us.
• Exactly the time we need God most, we feel Him the least because we’re worrying this thing so much we’re choking the Word out of us.
• How do we get that choke hold off of us?
• Philippians 4:6..."Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God"
• Anytime we are all anxiety ridden our feeling is loss of control (hummm...)
• Speak truth over it.
• Warriors not worriers.
• Everytime we show and anxious spirit we show the enemy we're not trusting God with it.
• Immaturiity says I insist on life feeling good. 
• This is a trap for a life of bondage and addiction.
• He'll use your pain to birth your passion
• You will not lack on Spriritual gift that you need to fulfill your destiny.
• All that will matter when we're done here is that life mattered.
• Testify that Gods' Word heals and restores, make the devil wish that he hadn't messed with you!
• You don't have to live in hysteria and chaos. 
• Let HIM change your day.

Yesterday, I just kept praying, processing, and working through all of this.  I feel very weak, vulnerable, and I still don't know how all this works.  How I "live" and don't go insane with worry every other weekend.

But, I am speaking HIS WORD over it all...  This is one of the books of promises I have written down to read and re-read...

This is the promise that came to my mind this morning...

Psalm 71:20-24...

Though you have made me see troubles, many and bitter,
       you will restore my life again;
       from the depths of the earth
       you will again bring me up.

 You will increase my honor
       and comfort me once again.

I will praise you with the harp
       for your faithfulness, O my God;
       I will sing praise to you with the lyre,
       O Holy One of Israel.

My lips will shout for joy
       when I sing praise to you—
       I, whom you have redeemed.

My tongue will tell of your righteous acts
       all day long,
       for those who wanted to harm me
       have been put to shame and confusion

My counselor said that there was determination on my face when I left… we will see…

Pam

It’s at the end of a day like this…

…that I know.  I know I am not in this alone.  I know that God is still bigger than all of the trials and frustrations that drag me down.  Otherwise I would NOT be here blogging tonight, I am pretty sure I would be somewhere about 200 miles from home…

Every one of them did something that irritated today…

…the lie that one of them is refusing to admit to…

….the carpool driver that one of them forgot to tell he wasn’t coming home to…

… the incessant talking, interrupting and asking questions…

…the loads of homework, and the lack of desire to do it…

…the fever and the whining…

…of course the first day of preschool catastrophe...

I wasn’t very patient.  I wasn’t very tolerant.  I yelled.  I cried.  I blew it way more times that I like to remember or admit to.

I apologized.  I sent some to bed early. 

I took a fast walk.

I remembered something I read this morning (was that just this morning?  what a long day this has been)

“Sometimes life is so atrocious that surviving is its own great achievement and a strange proof of sorts that God must exist.”  --Beth Moore, Stepping Up 

Pam

Fun things I found while blogging today…

As I was reading some blogs today, I found these interesting things.  This is an interview with my first blog writer, Dawn (The one who saved my children's lives via blog last year)

5 Minutes for Mom Interviews Dawn Meehan from Because I Said So from 5 Minutes for Mom on Vimeo.

I just found the sites called 5 Minutes for Mom and 5 Minutes for Parenting.  5 Minutes for Mom is the one that featured Dawn and did this interview.

I’ve added both of these blogs to my blog roll on the sidebar. 

The most exciting thing that I found today is that Beth Moore and her daughters have a blog!!!!!  I’ve added hers to my blog roll too!  I think I just found that IV of Beth I’ve been searching for!  LOL!!

Oh, and I just had to share this too.  When I was searching for that video clip from Finding Nemo and Dory (seems I have been spelling it wrong!)  Which do you prefer?  Dory or Dorie?  Dorie? 

This clip is another of the reasons we call each other Dorie.

Just keep swimming Dorie!  Love ya!  (I think I’m gonna keep it with the “ie” I like it better!)

How about this, if FLYLADY, doesn’t float your boat, it totally floats mine.  But, many people complain about too many e-mails.  Here’s a blog that may be a better option for some.  mom24 left this idea in my comment box today, I'm an organizing Junkie.  They even have links to people’s weekly menus that you can steal, borrow use!  Flylady has a simple plan for meals too.

By, the way.  I heart you commenters!!  Thank you for your thoughts and encouragement! 

Blessings,

Pam

The week rolls to an end…

Hello!  Our house is still teeming with activity and children!  Yes, more than the normal!  Today is the last day that Dorie and her 3 children will be spending here with us.  It has been so much fun for all of us.  A little hard at times with so many children around the same age.  Mostly, it was us two with our 3,3,4,5,10,10,11 year olds.  See.  Fun. 

Arguing.  But, many sweet times.

The wonder of toads……………………............the dismay of "time-out"

Dorie's son, Josh, who is 3, had never seen a toad.  We found one at the neighbor's pond.  It became his new best friend!  So cute!  He took it in the van with us, and we were loading things up.  All the sudden everything fell out of the back of the van and out popped his little head, yelling, "it's okay!  I lost my toad, but I know where it is!"  We did find the toad, eventually, and all was well.

A week just full of precious moments like that.  Seeing the wonder of the country in the eyes of good friends.  New appreciation for things you take for granted is always a blessing.

We've been enjoying good food along the way too!  YES, WE cooked!!  Which is an accomplishment for both of us and we are very proud of ourselves!  Of course we had fresh meat from my friends who dropped off their extras!  We enjoyed a steak dinner last night, with grilled steak, zucchini, tomatoes, sweet corn, and mushrooms and onions on the side!  And for dessert coffee and banana split pie!

Another night I made key lime pie!  The 5 minute kind that you find on the back of the light graham cracker crust package.  May I suggest that you buy more than just 2 yogurts, just in case someone eats one or two before you get to the pie making business!?! 

My little pie (yogurt) lover, displaying her delight...

No one seemed to have any problems finishing this off... and it is also solid enough that if it slides off the plate onto the floor you can pick it right up and no one is the wiser!  Of course you had to have just swept the floor so there is no dirt, and always obey the 10 second rule!  LOL!  Mom's need to know these things!! 

We do own a whole drawer full of silverware.  I promise!

We were so blessed to be able to get away to hear Beth Moore, live-via-simulcast, Friday night and Saturday.  We were both very ready for a break from our kids.  Not to mention that they were very ready for a break from us!  They had a blast with three babysitters who came over and played with them!  What a blessing it all was.

If you read my posts often, you know how much I adore Beth Moore.  If you've known me over the past 3 years, you may be concerned that I have a Beth Moore addiction!  I am sure that I do!  I absolutely love hearing her speak.  I have said on many occasions that I need an IV of her!  If she could just follow me around in my daily life speaking all that life and truth AND ENERGY into me!  I am just sure life would be better!

Of course, I was not disappointed this time either.  Beth spoke on the parable of the sower.  The theme verse was Luke 8:8

"Still other seed fell on good soil.  It came up and yielded a crop a hundred times more than was sown."

She spoke of receiving our 100 fold blessing.  The average yield in Palestine was 7-15 times.  She spoke of treasuring the wonder, not allowing satan to come and steal away your seed, by protecting our hearts.  Of expecting the tests.  Digging roots.  Stopping the choke.  Retaining the Word.  Pressing forth to your 100-fold.

Each point hit me in a different way.  I could see how I have been victim of each one.  How many times God has spoken to me and the enemy has come and stolen away the Word.  The circumstances have made me believe that what God had said couldn't possibly ever be true for me.  And the Word, and the Hope, was stolen yet again.

In testing, Beth said, "Here is where we find the break down in our Christian system.  Believe until life gets hard"  It is so hard, life that is.  And it is also hard to believe that God is going to bring good, joy, peace, love, back into your life, EVER, when you are in those hard, testing spots.

From my notes on that... "God had given Joseph a vision.  We are tried until it was proven true in us.  The Word is used for refining and purging us.  To give us the integrity and character we are going to need.  To prove us genuine.  It's showing that you really were the right choice.  Burns out the fake in us."

When the third session had begun, Beth was praying.  One thing that she said struck me and I rushed to write it down (before it was stolen from my heart) as soon as she finished.  She said in the prayer, "We need to know if we should still Hope for something Lord, or if there is something we should set aside."

That has been the cry of my heart for so long.  Am I hoping for something that will never be?  Am I making up the things that I think You have said to me?  Am I crazy?

My hope still lies in seeing HSSH's life restored to fullness.  I don't really know what that means.  I know what I would like that to mean, and I have to work on letting go of that. 

Is it time to let go of that hope and move on?  Is that what you are saying to me God?  Is that what You want me to do?  Because the circumstances sure back up that idea. 

As Beth finished up she talked about "Pressing towards that 100-fold".  How things take longer than we think they should.  She said "Anytime God has called us to do something, we get in the middle of it and wish He could start something else!  We think, I wish I'd never started this thing! You've got to finish.  Persevere for it.  Harvest doesn't come quickly.  It will take time.  It will demand perseverance out of you."

I don't claim to understand.  I don't claim to know what the finish looks like for us.  I do know that this isn't finished yet.  I don't know why it isn't.  It sure looks finished.

I SURRENDER TO YOUR WILL FATHER.  I DON'T KNOW WHAT THAT MEANS.  I DON'T KNOW WHAT THAT IS.  BUT I DO KNOW THAT I WANT TO FINISH THIS THING.  I WANT YOUR PLANS TO PLAY OUT.  I WANT YOUR WILL FOR MY LIFE TO BE ACCOMPLISHED.  I WANT MY CHILDREN TO RECIEVE THE BLESSING OF HAVING A MOTHER WHO WAS GENUINE AND REAL.  WHO LOVED HER GOD AND EVEN IF SHE HAD IT ALL WRONG, THOUGHT SHE WAS DOING WHAT HE SAID.  HELP ME DEAR FATHER.  I CANNOT TAKE ONE STEP ON THIS ROAD WITHOUT YOU.  IN JESUS NAME.

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In the morning, Dorie and I will be headed out for a couple days on a little road trip!  Then she will go her way and us ours.  Meet you back here on Wednesday.

Pam