A totally gorgeous weekend… mostly.

Our weekend began with a surprise!  James got to play the offense for the whole Varsity Foot Ball game!  The bummer part is, that the reason he was in was all the injuries that the varsity team has taken this year.   Kinda scary!  The AWESOME part is that WE WON!!

For about 2 hours, I thought I could report to you that James scored his first VARSITY touch down.  The announcer said it was him.  But, he came home and said, “mom, I didn’t catch that pass, it was Matt.”  Guess it just looked really like he caught it!  He did catch the two other passes that he was thrown!  That was really cool!  His name was in the newspaper for having 3 solo tackles (on special teams).  So, it was very exciting!

I guess humility is something that continues to not be a problem! 

Zach was recognized at 1/2 time as part of the 8th grade foot ball team.

It was senior night also.  I spent a few moments in panic about what that will look like for us next year.  What will HSSH do?  What will James do?  What will he write on the program when it says, “son of…”.  Not looking forward to dealing with that.  Wishing it would all go away by then.  Hoping for better reality by then.  I know, don’t worry about things a year away… easier said than done.

On Saturday morning, I did something I’ve never done before.  It wasn’t on purpose, but I am sure glad it happened!  James and I drove over to my sister and her fiancé Ben’s new house to see the progress of the week.  Our 4 wheeler was there.  I figured James would drive it back home for us.  But, he told me that I couldn't’ drive “his” car and I would have to drive the 4 wheeler… okay, yeah, I can do that.

There were three adults trying to figure out how to start the thing.  I had to call James to ask how to start it.  Apparently, you have to turn the key.  Hold that button.  And pull that lever.  Simultaneously.  Oh, and hold your tongue sideways and cross your eyes.  yeah.

So, after getting it started.  Kiahna and took a completely illegal drive, lovely drive down the country roads… I took these pictures of the gorgeous fall day…

I’ll do more of that… what a beautiful day.

Then we went and watched some youth football, my nephew was playing.  (because we just can’t get enough foot ball)  (yes, we have issues)

I’d like to say that the evening ended all lovely too… but it didn’t.  I tried taking my kids out to eat after the game.  In the parking lot, there were comments like, “do we have to eat here?”, “I just ate.”, “why do you want to eat this?”  Add that to the fact that I knew, that without a nap, it was already going to be incredibly challenging to take them to a sit down restaurant on my own, since Kiahna hadn’t napped, and Jadon, is well… Jadon…

See the tear streak?  Heart broken.  She produces crocodile tears at the drop of a hat.  Or the not getting of the way.

So, I made a choice in that parking lot.  I was done.  I had spent the day trying to have fun.  Trying to enjoy the moments.  Trying to enjoy the beautiful (TOO WARM) fall day.  I was done with their whining.  I told them they would go home and eat peanut butter and go to bed.

Then I became totally frustrated with myself and my inability to hold together myself.  I really wanted to enjoy the gift that the weekend was.  The reality that HSSH had chosen not to pull our family apart this weekend.  I was determined to enjoy the time I had with them all together.  And then I get so frustrated with them.  And then I get so mad at myself.

A break for ME was what I needed.  I called my friend, Lora, and we went out for Mexican food.  I refuse to feel guilty for taking or needing breaks from being everything and everyone to everybody.  But, it is still a struggle to not.

Sunday, we went to church.  I came home and gave Kiahna a nap.  Thankfully she slept, because she wasn’t in a great mood in church, and we wanted to go on this AWESOME hiking trip!

And it was an AWESOME HIKING TRIP!  There had to have been around 100 of us, mostly kids, under 12 years old… if you endure  enjoy the video to the end, you’ll get to see me and the kids eating pizza at the end of the hike! 

Here is the slide show I made of our adventure!

Make a Smilebox slideshow

Pam

In search of peace

I get so many rare times alone.  I struggle to know what to do with myself when I get some.  I often end up some place lame like Wal-Mart.  Tonight I got one of those rare treats, and since I had already spent my alone time this morning at Wal-Mart ;)  That wasn’t an option.  I had thought of going to the school and watching the homecoming activities, taking pictures like a good bloggy mommy…  then it rained, and I don’t know.  I wanted coffee… but since our Starbucks closed, and all the local places shut their doors at 7… I could’ve went to a prayer room… but It was kind of late to get signed up….

I decided to stay home.  Enjoy the quiet.  It is an amazingly foreign sound to my ears.  I made a 1/2 pot of decaf.  Poured myself a cup with some French Vanilla Creamer… and walked out side.

I had many things on my mind that needed processed.  I had a counseling appointment late in the afternoon that left me with a variety of thoughts floating around.  It had rained this afternoon, the air was so fresh and clean after being dusty for so long.

I took my camera, and my coffee, and went walking…

It was getting dark as I decided to walk back into the woods…

Hoping to catch a deer, unaware… hoping to hear from God… hoping to feel His peace wrapped around me.

I got back near the back of the woods and sat on a rock.

Suddenly I had this thought.  Is it hunting season?

Oh, great, I hope it isn’t hunting season!

I thought, it wouldn’t be bad for me to die… but my poor parents, and children… don’t let me get shot by a hunter Lord! 

It had to have been less than a minute until I heard a gun shot.

Oh crap.

Then I heard quite a few more shots.

I knew they were not in this woods, but another nearby. 

I still announced loudly to the trees, and any hunter sitting in camo, 10 feet up, cursing me for walking in on this hunt, that I was not shooting material!

I quickly left the woods.  ;)

I went back into the house.  The smell of coffee met me… ahhh… another cup.

Went to sit outside, determined to grasp some more of this peace and quiet.

The phone rang.

It was my neighbor from behind (back toward the gunshots).

Wanted to know if I had heard the gun shots.

Um… yeah, I think I heard those.

Does anyone remember this post?  Back in the end of July when there was a cow loose in our woods?  In fact, the cow crossed my mind when I walked back there, I was hoping not to run into him.  Dory had just asked me this morning on the phone if he had ever been found.

They found the cow.

Kids aren’t back yet.  Think I’ll try to find that peace and quiet one more time…

Pam

Deer

Peace has settled around my heart, like a blanket, tucked in tight, on a cool morning.

Sweet.  Unexplainable.  Undeniable.  Unattainable.  Passes all Understanding.  You shouldn’t really be here under these circumstances, and yet here you are.  Peace.

This morning as my alarm went off I heard the words, “I will worship YOU”.  And then I hit snooze.  I laid there in that 3/4 sleep state, and was amazed. 

When the radio came back on 9 minutes later and woke me again.  I had a splitting head-ache, and just wanted to roll back over and sleep.  I let the radio play.  Point of Grace, song Fearless Heart was playing.

For even the most trusting soul
This world can be a scary place
So much that we can't control
In every moment that we face
When a thousand what ifs
Whisper in our ears
We remember who's we are
And watch them disappear

I wanna live with a fearless heart
Courage that's coming from trust in God
It's constantly guiding me though the road may seem dark
I wanna live, wanna live with a fearless heart

There are worries chasing everyone
It's evident in times like these
But I have found the confidence that comes
From time I spend on my knees
There's a truth I'm holding onto
As these days unfold
Greater is He, God is in you
And hear it in the world

I wanna live with a fearless heart
Courage that's coming from trust in God
It's constantly guiding me though the road may seem dark
I wanna live, wanna live with a fearless heart
He's my strength, He's my shelter
He is with me all the way
He's my light and my salvation
Of whom shall I be afraid, of whom shall I be afraid?

I wanna live with a fearless heart
Courage that's coming from trust in God
It's constantly guiding me though the road may seem dark, yeah
I wanna live with a fearless heart
Courage that's coming from trust in God
It's constantly guiding me though the road is dark
I wanna live, wanna live with a fearless heart
With a fearless heart, with a fearless heart
With a fearless heart

And so the day began.  A day wrapped in peace.  Peace,  Even though things have not happened the way I wanted them to.  Peace, even though I found out more information yesterday about HSSH’s poor choices.  Peace, even though this is the anniversary time of year.  Peace.

I testify to the power of prayer.

I testify to the strength of God made perfect in absolute weakness.

I testify to being able to do all things through Jesus Christ who gives me strength.

Last night, I drove to the corner, to paved roads, to walk with my friend Lora.  I saw deer in two different fields.  Then I saw another one at the corner, on the road.

Then this morning, after Jadon and I dropped Lucas off at the bus stop, we drove in the lane and saw this in our back yard.

I have only witnessed deer that close to our house a handful of times.  Normally, it is in the morning when I first wake up.  They run just hearing the sound of me running water in the house.

This deer stayed right where it was.  Looking at us, through driving into the garage.  Getting out of the van.  Shushing Jadon multiple times, getting my camera, with the windows open, opening the sliding door, walking outside.  Taking a few pictures…

Jadon waving and saying… “HI DEER”… none too quiet…

It mozied it’s way back into the woods…

“He makes my feet like the feet of a deer; he enables me to stand on the heights.”  Psalm 18:33

Pam

Wordless Wednesday

Pam

Odds and Ends 8.21.2008

Good Morning!  It is extremely hard for me to be “wordless on Wednesdays”, but it is extremely GOOD for my family and my house!  LOL!  Today finds me full of words I would love to type out, but with the need to monitor my time.  Right now it is 8:30 am.  It may take me all day to get this post published, but I am going to steal away type a few moments at a time! 

I have a babysitting job one day a week.  Olivia hasn’t come for awhile because of our busy summer schedule.  There was plenty of family that wanted to watch her in the summertime anyway.  But, today she is back!  Jadon and Kiahna love her and are having so much fun playing with her toys!

Okay, I cheated and put that other post up about the movie Fireproof before finishing this one.  It needed it’s own post.  It stirred me up.

Kiahna received her scholarship last night.  I forgot my camera.  The lady that was in charge told me she’d send me an e-mail with the pictures in it.  I haven’t gotten them yet.  Kiahna did really well, she walked up to these strangers who were sponsoring the scholarship, in honor of their grandson, and gave them her home-made thank you card, sat on the man’s lap, and smiled for the pictures.  THIS, coming from my girl who has been known to walk up to people and tell them that she doesn’t like them and wants them to leave.  Ahem… yes… so VERY good!

Okay, raise of hands… you know I worked on that hair more before last night… who knew I would?!?  There are certain things that drive me crazy about myself, one is my perfectionism about Kiahna’s hair!  I like it to look nice.  I don’t want to anyone to think that I don’t know how to care for her hair or that I don’t care about it!   It still wasn’t “done” but I did put about 4 hours into it yesterday.  Today I worked more, and with some luck, we may be done tomorrow, in time for HAIRKU Friday!  Look for a post all about hair tomorrow!

I believe one of the reasons Kiahna is so cooperative with her hair being done is the one on one time with me.  Apparently, she still didn’t get enough of my time yesterday though.  This morning before the kids left for school, I came downstairs to get something and realized that the computer had been turned off.  I went ahead and turned it back on, so that it would be ready for me when I was ready to sit down after the kids left.  It wouldn’t come on.  I checked and someone had unplugged every plug from the power strip.  Strange.  When I went to bed, everyone was asleep, accept Zach who was finishing up talking to his friends (who he never sees) on MSN, and Kiahna.  She had had a late nap and was having trouble falling asleep.  But, she was in bed.

No one knew anything about the computer being all unplugged.  Seems that my darling little daughter came downstairs, in the dark and unplugged mommy’s computer!  I am really trying to keep balance and not spend too much time on here, but I guess she isn’t satisfied.

James came home with the professional pictures that the football team had done…

They were pretty good, the group one wasn’t very good, but this one is good.  Things go pretty good with James for the most part.  He pulls pretty hard on the reigns and wants to be independent.  It is a hard age.  I am again so thankful for my dad and his influence, and James respect for him. 

I saw a book in that flier that I got yesterday called, The First Born Advantage, by Kevin Leman.  Maybe I should read it to help MYSELF and to help me with James.  Sigh…

Zach just has fun.  Everything is all about the fun.  Uhhhhhhhhhh…

Leah is loving middle school.  Sixth grade is SOOOO much better than fifth grade, she says.  We are headed to sixth grade back to school night tonight.

Lucas is very happy in his fourth grade class.  I am pleased.  I plan to volunteer in Lucas’ classroom after the little ones start preschool.

Jadon and Kiahna (and the dog) were all following me around today as I worked.  I told them, why don’t you go play?  Jadon said, “because we are kids, and kids are supposed to follow their mom’s”.  Okay then.  If you really want to, follow me upstairs to fill my coffee cup.

Okay so I have been saving these pictures… I have officially been added to the Gratitude Community Blogroll.  I really want to have a heart and mind that is thankful.  It is harder than I thought it would be after you pass the obvious… Sunday I went out walking with my camera… I want to share the pictures I took with you today…

…how many walks have I taken and never noticed how many butterflies there are… 100’s of them…

…don’t miss the bee in this one…

Savor the moment… peace…quiet… I took that video I posted yesterday on Sunday too.  Lord, teach me to have a thankful heart.

Pam

Touring the Countryside…

I’ve found it interesting to show someone around our small community and see it through their eyes!  To see the awe and excitement of yet another Amish buggy!  Or the thrill of jumping on the trampoline or climbing the tree house.  Swimming in the pond, riding a horse, or going to the park to see the bison.  And let’s not forget about that loose cow!!    Puts a new appreciation in my eyes of our small town and it’s charm!

Some pixs of my kids the past few days…

Kiahna horse back riding… she loves them!

Jadon’s turn…

Lucas chooses not to ride…

Swimming…

Sipping Homemade Root Beer from the Drive In…

Taking a vacation in our own hometown… Interesting concept.  What could beat that… Oh yeah, taking one NOT in your hometown!!  Maybe next week!?  Having fun anyway!!

Pam