Pondering…

Thinking about how quickly life can change…

My neighbors & friends found out last night that their unborn baby is no longer living… just 2 weeks before delivery.

They called & asked me to come & photograph.

As I write this, I am waiting to be called up to the hospital.  They started labor, but things are progressing very slow.

One of the brother’s made a comment about “praying for a miracle today”.

Got my mind rolling.

I wonder if we miss the miracle sometimes.  Do we miss it because we are so focused on what we want the miracle to look like that we can’t see the actual miracle?

I think we do.

I know I have.

Because the miracle that comes from having God so near during times that feel like they are going to crush you with pain, that instead of being destroyed you feel peace… it’s hard to swallow sometimes.  We don’t want that to be our miracle.  We want the miracle of life restored.  We don’t want life to hurt so much.  We don’t want babies to die, husbands to leave, people to hurt us…

But.  If we never get the chance to experience God’s peace that passes all understanding in the midst of searing pain that we know should be killing us with it’s very intensity… how will we ever know God’s power in our lives.  We won’t.  We would have any need for it.

It’s in doing the impossible things in our lives that we can know He is a God of impossibilities…

As much as it hurts.

May we walk through this life, in awe of God’s power in the events that we feel are impossible. Giving Him glory & honor & praise for all things.  Good & bad.

Pray for Trevor & Rachel. 

Peace.  Grace.  Love.  Hope.  Restoration.

Pray God provides amazing memories of this child for them through the lens of my camera… I’ve never done anything like this before.

Pam

Where we are with Kiahna today

The issues that Kiahna lives with put us all over the map.  We have good days & horrific days.  We have okay days & days that make you think we will never live this way for the long haul.

Recently, things have improved drastically.

We began seeing a new neurologist.

We began Occupational Therapy.

We began services with an agency that is new to our area Meridian. 

We stopped some medications & began some others.

Today we are in a place where we are living semi-normal lives.  She is stable enough to go places without melt downs.  As long as I stay aware of her sensory needs & don’t let her become over stimulated or worn out.

She has been able to handle the Christmas season with ease.  The transition to home from school for break.  She was invited to play at a friend’s house & dealt with that with ease.

Praise the Lord!

The new neurologist ordered some testing that we had never had done before.  

The first was a sleep deprived EEG

Thankful for the help that my parent’s gave me preparing for this test.  We were to keep her awake most of the night & then drive her to FW for the testing at 8 am.  They kept her awake so I could sleep & then drive her in to the tests.

After this test we attempted an MRI.  She didn’t cooperate with that.  It’s a scary test!  We had to reschedule that one with sedation, we had to wait for that to be approved by insurance & that is coming up next week.

We just received the results of the sleep deprived EEG & they were abnormal enough that the doctor has ordered more testing.  This testing will require 24 hour admission to the hospital & the EEG will be recorded all during that time. 

The tests will confirm if she has Epilepsy.  She has not had any obvious seizures.  But, the testing was still abnormal enough it can’t be ruled out.  If she has the same issues while she is awake that she has when she is asleep, they will diagnose her Epileptic.

Add it to the list of labels.

When we began the latest medication round we had a great 2 weeks & then the behaviors began again, we increased them & have been on the level for a few weeks again… it’s a day by day thing.  Waiting for the medication to stop working.

Continued prayer is vital.

Pam

When the meds stop working…

…and start working against you…

It happens very quickly with some meds & you know right away it’s not a good fit.

It happens very slowly with some meds & you don’t realize until you are living a nightmare that maybe it’s the meds.

Sunday.  A tantrum during Sunday school.  Can’t even send her into the classroom alone.  Don’t trust her behavior. 

Can’t handle drawing a smiley face on your baby Moses??

Something is seriously not okay with this.

I’ve had the little thought before that maybe it was the meds turning on us.

I finally took the plunge and didn’t give her the medication on Sunday night.

Monday was a different ball game.

I had a different child.

I don’t know whether to be angry or rejoice.

Rejoice.

There is nothing I can do about the past.

She takes the meds for her ADHD, so without the meds the ADHD, impulsiveness, sensory issues are all heightened… BUT AT LEAST SHE IS RATIONAL!!

We don’t have to live like we are walking on egg shells because she can’t deal with ANYTHING!!

I even took her to Lucas’ ball game tonight!  Her first game this year…  She did fabulous!

I guess the sun was a little bright for her!

THANK you so much for your prayers… life isn’t perfect, but it’s, like a bazzillion times better than it was just a few days ago… what a huge relief.

A few pix of my kids playing football now…

Lucas…

Zach…

Leah’s first homecoming powder puff game… with interception!!  check out that smile!

Their freshmen team… they were awesome, they would have won too, but the seniors cheated… so the seniors won.  (leah is the second from the left on the front row)

And Zach’s homecoming activity… Sledgehammer volleyball… they won best costumes…

Sometimes, it’s best you just don’t ask!

Pam

Honestly, To tell the truth…

Honestly, I feel like I am struggling on the brink of sanity most days.

To tell the truth I am so glad that school started & I get some time to myself almost every day.

Honestly, I feel bad for feeling that way… but my plate is too full & it’s more than one person should have to carry on their own, so when the school teachers get on board & help me carry it, I am more than glad to let them do so.

To tell the truth, Kiahna’s behaviors scare me to the inner core.

Honestly, I am so angry at Jim some days for what he has done to our children & the way he is living his life, I think I might explode.

To tell the truth, I am tired of forgiving that man for things over and over and over and over and over and over and over again.

Honestly, I know I have no other choice.  Unforgiveness is not an option.  I know what it does to a person & I want no part of it.  It’s just so hard to keep doing it.

To tell the truth, I wonder if visits with their dad hurt them more than they help them?

Honestly, if he is going to come to their games, I don’t understand why he can’t stick around long enough for them to come off the field or out of the locker room to say, “hey, good job son”.

Truthfully… it makes me want to scream with rage when I think about him hurting my kids & how I have absolutely zero control over if he hurts them or not.

Honestly, I like to be in control.  I like to be able to protect my kids.  I like to see the right thing happen.  I like to see good win.  I like to see justice.

To tell the truth, the older I get the less I see of justice, truth, or good winning in this world.

Honestly, without Jesus… I would be so much worse off than I am today… which is hard to imagine, since I feel pretty messed up with Him most of the time.

To tell the truth, I am sooo excited to start a new Bible study up with 2 of my friends tomorrow. 

Honestly, I don’t know what it’s even going to be about… just get me in the Word & save me from myself and this crazy life I am leading.

To tell the truth, I think that raising teenagers might be right up there with the most difficult thing ever done by mankind.  It’s so hard not to panic & think you’ve failed most hours of most days… then you see little glimmers of hope… and you try to focus on those…

Honestly, I think it’s best not to get too focused on anything that teenagers do or say… because tomorrow they will have a different thought that will totally change what they said yesterday…

To tell the truth… I have learned more about special needs children so far than I ever dreamed I would learn in my lifetime.  I wonder if anyone ever goes out and wants to learn how to raise a special needs child before they have one?

Honestly, dealing with my daughters tantrums feels like it could be the death of us all.

To tell the truth, I get angry that life is so hard… I get angry that I am a single parent… I get angry that Kiahna’s behavior is so awful…. I get angry that Zach gets tickets for taking off too fast in a parking lot, that he has a bad attitude of the football field, that girls chase him mercilessly, or that there is a new girl each week that he is talking to, I get scared, I get hurt, I get lonely…

Pause.

These are the feelings, thoughts, emotions, circumstances, issues I deal with everyday…. battlefield of the mind… yeah, you could say so.

We need your prayers.  I have been a single parent for six years.  And guess what.  It’s still hard.  It still stinks.  It still hurts.  It still trying to destroy me & my children.  We still need your prayers and support.

God has been sooooo good to us.  This community has been amazing.  I have to keep fighting this war, I can never stop… please keep holding up my hands…  because I am exhausted.

Pam

How I spent my tax check

It was my very first tax check since being divorced…

I had this idea to re-do my living room… replace my 15 year old furniture with something new & pretty…

Add some color to the blah….

My sister & I went and purchased a very cool chair from Pier 1, got a lamp & end table on sale & a bunch of awesome throw pillows!

So much fun!  We shopped & shopped for couches, chair 1/2’s, ottomans, searched for just the right one for my house… found it… great price!

Then the basement flooded…

Now I have a deductible to meet.

I need a back up sump pump, I also need a new regular sump pump.

I have a brother-in-law who can do the work for me on those things.

Then the dryer broke.

I had been given a used washer a month or so ago, my washer had broken then.

So… I spent my tax check… all in one week… not to mention my savings account…

I am blessed to have the cash to pay for it all.  For that I am very, very thankful.

I just didn’t get to spend it quite like I was hoping to… oh well.

Pam

Icy Winter musings…

I took this photo Sunday morning when we had all that freezing frost…

Lots going through my mind tonight…

It’s almost 1/3 of the way through the winter…

No school today because of and ice storm last night…

I’ve exercised every day for the past 15 days…

I joined a fitness center for the first time in my life 2 weeks ago…

I believe it might be what is keeping me sane at the moment…

Got the call back from the testing place in Chicago for Kiahna… now must figure out if I am doing this testing how I am going to pay for it…

Her behaviors seem to be getting harder and harder to deal with & have required more changes at school & learning at home…

She’s responding well to the changes at school…

I have a lot to learn at home…

It would have been our 20 year wedding anniversary today…

Lots of things to think about…

Praise the Lord… He never changes… Has all things under control… and is never surprised…

Pam

Wow… Really?

I think we figured out the reason Kiahna’s behavior has gotten so much worse since starting kindergarten.

I think it’s the medication she was on for ADHD.

I took her to the doctor on Monday, the appointment we have been waiting on for the further testing & evaluations of her behaviors.

She threw a horrific tantrum.

The lady who was meeting with us was extremely understanding & empathetic.  She suggested that we stop the appointment and I come back another day when I can talk without Kiahna with me. 

She also wondered if the medication could be causing some of this.

I couldn’t believe it.

Why didn’t I consider that before?

She started this new medication (the same one Jadon takes) towards the end of the summer, it never even crossed my mind that the medication could be making this worse!!!!

I made another appointment with the doctor who prescribes the meds, visited her yesterday, didn’t give K the old meds.  Got a new ADHD med to try… and we haven’t had a “violent” tantrum (we have had small ones) since then.

The new med is going to take 2-3 weeks to build in her body, could cause the same thing to happen, & meanwhile she is at school virtually un-medicated, hopefully getting along okay.

I am praying her teacher will have the patience for her. 

Jadon has picked up on some of Kiahna’s tantrum habits and has tried pulling some of his own.

These kids keep me on my toes. Or knees. Or both.

James is coming home tonight!

He is bringing a car load of kids back with him.  One is a girl he started dating a couple weeks ago.

That should be interesting.

She’s from the big city… what will she think of our home in the middle of know where on a gravel road? 

Could be very interesting.

Kinda scary for me.

Our football team is playing Saturday, rather than Friday this week.  All the teams in our conference are playing at a college campus about an hour from here.

Makes sense.  Play the team from the school 6 miles away, an hour away.  Logic there somewhere.

It’s about the fun of playing in a big stadium with turf and all I suppose.

We used to play at the Hoosier Dome, can’t afford Luc*as Oil, so we will settle for BSU.

Planning to tail-gate with my family before the 7:00 Game.

Zach’s been getting quite a bit of playing time…

He’s playing defense, mostly.

I’ve been extremely busy with my photography business… I am so blessed!!  I love it, and it’s great release for me!

I was driving to take the photos for the wedding Sunday, and I just started being filled with doubt… “what am I doing?  I can’t do this!”  But, God is doing it… I turned up my radio & prayed…and God did great!!

Go over and see the photos on my HERE on my photo-blog

Amanda…

Kadison & Lily…

John…

Alicia…

Blake…

And lots & lots of Adam & Ashley’s wedding… a peek is posted, more will be coming in the next week!

Pam

Light Bulb Moments…

A scattering of thoughts…

** Sometimes it hits me all over again where my life is, circumstance wise, and is so overwhelming I just crumble.  I find I need to allow myself the chance to cry again over what has happened, allow it to be okay that it has been over 4 years since it happened… and just grieve it again for awhile.

Then the sun comes up again.  And all the power of the Word of God & the faith that has been forming in my heart as I have learned through the trial to BELIEVE. WAIT. HOPE. LOVE. FORGIVE. Floods back in.  And I am more thankful than I was before.  Because I see where I could be, and I see where I am… and I am blessed.

**No matter how hard I try, I am not going to be financially capable of supporting my family with my photography business, solo.

I am finding that I have been making myself crazed trying to figure out how to balance a business, 6 kids & a home.  All the while not losing my mind.  It’s not going very well.

** I am living in “survival mode”

WHAT?  AGAIN? HOW DID THAT HAPPEN???

When my friend mentioned to me “you are in survival mode” the other day, it was like.  “OH MY WORD I AM!?!”  “I AM!”  How did I get there again??????

See, I was doing so well… then I started adding more and more to my plate… and suddenly it starting spilling over the sides… and I have a mess.

There is a certain peace that comes from realizing you are in survival mode and accepting it.

It’s good.

** I don’t have it figured out… but I do have peace back. 

I am going to do what I feel I can handle, business wise and no more.  That may mean I don’t do any photography some months… And will pick up more other months.  I hope my clients are flexible.  But, I really can’t worry about it if they are not.  If I am giving God the business & the Glory then it’s all really his problem to figure out anyway.

My top priority is going to go back to being my kids & their well being.  I am going to take control of my time.  I am going to stay on top of their lives. 

Again, I don’t know how.  There is only one of me.  And sometimes that really ticks me off.  But, it is what it is.  So, I will help with homework from 3:45 til 10:00… fit dinner, and a ball game in between… read books to them that they don’t understand when they read them themselves… go over spelling and grammar every night… stumble through Freshman  Biology vocab words over and over again… Figure out how F*A*S*F*A (if you’ve not sent a child to college yet you won’t know what that means, but one day soon you will, trust me!) works… clean up after the messy things my daughter does (apparently I am supposed to be supporting, encouraging, and allowing these “projects” which really goes against my nature)… then clean up again when she does things that I have not allowed or encouraged…

Again.  Not by my strength.  I can’t.  As soon as I start to think that I have to, I crumble. Or I get a call from a teacher saying my child was once again in the principal’s office. 

I cannot, on my own, be an advocate for each of my children in their schools.  God must raise up others.  God must send help.  He must.

I don’t know how HE does it.  And I confess it can really make me mad in the midst, to be wondering where HE is and why I can’t feel HIM… Because it sure “feels” like I have to do this on my own.

I don’t know how, but I know that even when I don’t feel it or see it or understand it… HE does.  And people are praying, and truth eventually comes around again, and I start to feel it again… and we go around.

**  I really, really, really, really, really, don’t like the load God is asking me to trust Him with.  It is after all about trust isn’t it.  Do I trust He is not going to give me more than I can bear?  (1 Cor 10:13)  I confess it feels like it is too much too many days. 

** So those are my light-bulbs for today.  I don’t have it all figured out, I make mistakes, I feel overwhelmed, I don’t like not getting my way, I am human living on earth… trying to learn to glorify God rather than myself.  Painful.

“All I have is yours, and all you have is mine. And glory has come to me through them.”  --John 17:10  (Jesus)

Pam

Last post of 2009

New Year’s Eve… the end of a year.  A time for reflection.  A time for family.  Friends, More food.  The end of the holiday season. 

Time to once again be surprised that another year is over.

To wonder where the time goes.

To think about what the next year might hold.

To be glad it’s over and thankful for a new chance to do it all again.

We are staying home tonight, well me & the 3 youngest kids are.  We have friend driving in from Ohio to spend the night and the 2 nights after that too!

Tomorrow we are planning to take all the kids (well, my 3 youngest again and Sheila’s 4) and go to a hotel with a pool!

Sheila's one of those friends who I met because we have similar circumstances we have walked through. 

Each of the older kids has get together’s to go to tonight & tomorrow Leah is having a co-birthday party at a friend’s house.

I told the other mom that I didn’t think that I would be able to be there to help if that was the date they chose for the party, so I am sending lots of food & my daughter’s party will go on without me.

The big boys will either be at Gpa & Gma’s or friends’ houses.

My first thoughts when I reflect on 2009… well… It sure what a lot better than 2005, 2006, 2007, & 2008!

Maybe 2010 will bring even more peace & contentment in my life and circumstances.  That would be good.

It will bring my first graduation.  First child off to college.  Last child in school all day. 

Hopefully there will be lots of photography & smiling faces to photograph.  My business will grow & I will figure out how to juggle all the plates just a little bit better than I did this last year.

Hopefully I will grow closer to God.  And hunger for more of HIM.

I hope to make more time to be with my own friends.  Putting time into those relationships that are important to me.

Peace will reign in my heart, even if it doesn’t in my house… or my circumstances… & God will protect us.

It’s been a good year.  Healing has continued and become more of a constant than a fleeting emotion.

I hope each of you has a wonderful evening and a blessed 2010.

Is it really going to be 2010?  Wasn’t it just 1990 and I was a senior?  How did I get here?

Pam

HOMERUN!!!

THERE IS A VICTORY CELBRATION GOING ON OVER HERE!!!!!!!!!

YOU MUST GO SEE IT TO BELIEVE IT!!!

TO GOD BE THE GLORY GREAT THINGS HE HAS DONE!!!!!

WAY TO GO GOD!!!

SO HAPPY FOR YOU STELLAN & MCKFAMILY!!!!!!!!

Pam

Lord… I am Amazed.

The beauty of autumn is upon us.  It is truly incredible to see the color come out of the trees… This year, I am seeing it through the lens of my camera.  And that is a first.

My eyes are becoming more in turn with what is around me.  Everywhere I go I think, “I’d like to take pictures there.” or “no, that wouldn’t work”

Realizing I have a hidden love of old barns & textures I never new existed in me.  It’s really quite something.

The business that I started about a month ago is going full force.  Busier than I would like to be on a “normal” basis, actually.  I know it is the time of year & don’t expect it will continue on at this speed.  Not thinking I really want it to! 

I love the photography time!!  LOVE IT!!  I am loving meeting new people, getting to know people I didn’t really know very well.  Getting in to the heart of people that I wish I knew better and finding a bond with them.

Last night I was photographing a family.  I had a short little shoot with only the parents.  As they asked me how they should pose, I thought, I don’t really want to “pose” them so much as I want them to be them.  Sit like they sit.  Be yourself. 

My favorite pictures are not the ones where they are perfectly smiling at the camera, but the ones that they are being real.  O. And that the camera is in focus.  That always helps. :)

Then you have some kids that really shouldn’t be taken in public… really…

Some people it’s just better that I don’t capture them quite so “natural”!

Poor Sam… she really wanted to smile without showing her teeth… how could you with HIM around! 

  Not to mention, random bike riders!!

And anyway… I think your teeth are beautiful, Sam!!

I am amazed.  Amazed as I look through the photos that came through my lens.  I see things I didn’t even know were there when I took the shot.  Gifts.  Blessings.  I am amazed.

I have lots of work to do.  2 families & 4 seniors sit in my laptop awaiting edits.  Another family is pending for tomorrow evening, and one is almost finished…  keep watching over at my photo blog, I am sure you will be seeing some new work over there real soon!! 

And I am amazed.  God is Amazing.  This is all His idea, and I am so blessed to be a part of it!! 

Pam

Wondering when...

I am wondering when things are going to come together for me to have a computer in my home again... the way things look right now I may be getting the new & the old back around the same time... the end of the week...
Meanwhile, I have been tempted to throw in the towel and give up on the whole idea of doing photography as a way of supporting my family...

Feeling like I am in over my head.

Not understanding why there are so many glitches!

Saturday I was totally losing it.

I went to pick up my external hard drive...

My recovered photo files had been downloaded onto it.

I took it to this computer (my parents) and plugged it in.
So excited to see my pictures again! So excited to share some on my photo blog and here.

And disappointment.

Some of them are there.

Most of them aren't.

No one was available to help me understand why this was happening.

I was crushed.

I had paid to have them recovered. Paid more than I wanted to pay. & now this.

Plus, I realized that I had saved many of the photos I had edited too small.

Much work awaits me when I do get a photo editing system & computer going again.

What am I thinking?

Can I do this?

Is this crazy?

I had another photo shoot scheduled for Saturday evening. Feeling about as confident as a pea, I went ahead with it.

Got to the location.

Was blown away by the beauty.

Was blown away by God.

Was blown away by His favor on me.

It has been a rough start... but He is providing the way.

Teaching me.

Letting me learn.

And leading.

This is HIS idea... of that I am sure.

I am incapable on my own... of that I am VERY sure.

He will have HIS way in where this all goes. That is a fact.

Pam

(yes, all of these were taken at that location... I'll have lots more when I get my computer up & photos edited!!)

Sometimes I'd like to forget...but then how would I remember?

Today is a day to remember.

"I will remember the deeds of the LORD; yes, I will remember your miracles of long ago."

Psalms 77:11

Remember God's Faithfulness to our family.

"Never will I leave you; never will I forsake you."

Hebrews 13:5

Remember that He has walked through every event, every pain, every trauma, every heartbreak, every betrayal, every hurtful word, every tear, every laugh, every smile, every moment... by our side.

"When you pass through the waters, I will be with you;
and when you pass through the rivers,
they will not sweep over you.
When you walk through the fire,
you will not be burned;
the flames will not set you ablaze."

Isaiah 43:2

He has "Kept" us in the Palm of His hand.

"He will cover you with his feathers, and under his wings you will find refuge; his faithfulness will be your shield and rampart."

Psalms 91:4

It's been 4 years today that HSSH left.

The details are painful.

The reality is hurtful.

God is big.

Yesterday, when I realized that today was the anniversary date, I mentioned it. Someone told me, "you are such an example".

"Example?" was my thought. Of what? How to survive living he*l and live to tell about it?

In another conversation with a friend, she asked me what I wanted that example to be. My answer? I want the example to be that God is Good. All the time. No matter what. I want that to be the example.

God has gotten us through the past 4 years.

God has brought healing where I didn't believe He could.

God gives me Hope of a future.

God fills in the gaps as I raise these kids.

God provides for our needs.

God comforts, heals, protects, speaks, leads, & guides.

He gets all the Glory.

All.

Today I remember that when everything I knew was shaken to the core. God was faithful.

Pam

God & Beef Stew

Things have been going well.  Very well.  I am feeling blessed.  It is good.  But, I’ve found myself afraid to say much.  You know?  As soon as you say something then something happens and ruins it all… so I’ve been kinda sitting back holding my breath… wondering. waiting.

Last week I had a wonderful time with a friend & counselor.  We talked, had coffee, cried, prayed… processed… & mostly my heart just felt like it wanted to burst with the love I have for my God & my Jesus & the Holy Spirit… because He is more than I ever dreamed He would be.

I never believed that I could feel joy again, let alone joy like I have never felt before.  Not unless everything I was praying for happened.  Then I’d feel joy.

Many times I have heard that God wanted me to feel joy now.  Before my prayers were answered.  I didn’t see how.  I couldn’t wrap my small brain around it all.  Many times people have prayed.  God heard.

Last week it really hit me.  Many ways really.  After the meeting with my friend, there was an opportunity to make some food (again) for the football team.

This time it is for a smaller group, 25-30 players as they watch game tape.  It doesn’t have to be much, they say.  I decided that I wanted to make beef stew.

CRAZY!

I thought, “NO! That is too hard.  That will overwhelm you.  You can’t do that.  You don’t have to do that.  No one is asking you to do that.  Don’t do that.”

But, what I realized is that I wanted to do it.  I realized that it feels SO good to actually be able to do something that I am finding pure joy in making beef stew for 25-30 football players!

CRAZY!

Live out 4 or more years in paralyzing fear, anger, worry,frustration, and pain… finally feel joy again… without your prayers being answered… then you will understand.  Or at least try to understand.  I don't think it’s understandable by our brains.

I don’t understand.

I’ve decided to run with it.  I am making beef stew today.  Lots of beef stew.  And these boys have no idea how much my heart is rejoicing that I am able to make it.  No idea… I have tears in my eyes right now because I am able to make beef stew!! 

God, You make me laugh!

Pam

Did I tell you I love routine?

I am loving having routine back in my life!  LOVING IT!  Loving it.  I really love routine.

Loving getting up earlier & getting things done. 

Loving that I clean my kitchen and it stays clean until they return.

Loving that my house is cleaned up & stays pretty clean until they come back (and 5 book bags plus a couple gym bags & 10 shoes fling over the clean living room!)

Loving 7:30 bedtimes.

Loving feeling like I actually accomplish something.

This morning was day 3.  First two days, all the younger kids popped out of bed without even being told.  Today I had to wake them. 

Today they were grouchy.  Slower. Not a good sign.

Today James yelled at Jadon to hurry up & brush his teeth.  James said he didn’t yell.  Jadon said he did.  Jadon cried & clung to me. Not a fun way to send off the kids. 

James drives them to school most days. 

This afternoon after school there was a wreck.  Three boys from our high school.  Kyle, a senior, is “unresponsive” at this point.  The other two are brothers, freshman & junior.  The younger,Josh, has a “shattered” pelvis & “will be lucky to walk again” & had a ruptured spleen. The third boy, Jarod, walked away with a few stitches.

SO SCARY & SAD.  Please pray for them.  They are not boys that I know real well, or that are close friends with my boys.  It’s hard to find words to pray.

If the report that the boys brought home tonight is true it was just careless speeding & passing that caused it.  How easily it could have been one of my boys making that same silly choice. 

Uhhhh… Lord Jesus, Have Mercy.

It’s hard to go on just talking about life after saying all that.

Hard to put my kids in my seniors car in the morning, praying he makes wise choices while driving.  How quickly things happen.

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I took Kiahna to her preschool orientation this morning.  She did really well.  The teachers said they could tell a difference in her. Let’s pray that difference sticks after I leave her.

She will start the school year going 12-3 pm on Monday & Wednesdays.  If things go well we will meet the end of September & she can increase her days to 4 days a week.

Good news!  I hope she will do better this year, I think she will. 

Jadon seems to be adjusting really well to his all day kindergarten.  I love hearing him try to figure out how it all works.  Asking after the first day if he gets to go back again.  Asking after the second day if he gets to go back again.  When I told him he gets to go back 179 more times, he said “all to kindergarten?!?”  He also informed us that “kindergarten is much more fun than high school!”  Yes, Jadon, it is. Enjoy it.

Tomorrow I am going on a field trip with Lucas’ class.

I may be doing some helping with Leah’s cheerleading.

Lucas’ soccer practice started today.

Recognize anyone’s picture in today’s newspaper?

And those of you who like to get all technical and want to know what position he plays…

Now you know. Don’t expect me to remember that. K? I’ll just keep calling him the guy who goes out and catches the ball.  Works for me.

So we travel for tomorrow night’s game.  It is our coach’s first game.  It will be nerve racking for him I am sure.  Prayerful for all of them.  Safety for the boys. 

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But most of all…Please, please, please pray for the Mc*Intire family, Kyle, who’s life is in hanging in the balances… the Sch*wartz family who’s son may never walk again & who’s other son was spared severe injury.  It’s hard to sit here and talk about all this life and activity when theirs is suddenly snuffed out.  So hard.  So unimaginable.

Pam