How NOT to return from vacation, MONDAY!

This week, I will not be joining McKMama in her Not Me! Monday carnival…

 

I can’t, you see.  I am in the process of gliding perfectly into to my life after a week of kid free vacation.

 

I will now be advising you in all the things that you should NOT do when you are returning from vacation…

 

As you are returning from you kid free time, you really need to ease yourself back into life. This will help you avoid becoming overwhelmed and canceling out all the de-stressed time you just accumulated.   

 

You never want to stop off at home, drop off your luggage, see that your wonderful parents have dropped off all the kids luggage, and rush back out the door to attend a family function. 

 

No, you must stay home, put away all the clean clothes, wash all the dirty clothes, put away all the bedding and wet snow clothing that are in garbage sacks.  Sort out and file all the mail and school papers.  After all of that is done, then you have the ability to handle a warm welcome from your children.

 

Your children will have missed you terribly, and they will be perfect angels for the next two days… no one will pee their pants, argue, spill, or complain.  They will gaze lovingly at you and listen intently to every word you have to share with them about your wonderful vacation.  Never complaining about the fact that they were left behind in the frozen (now muddy thawing) tundra.

 

Your parents, who you rely on heavily, should never leave on 12 day vacations… and they especially should not do this as you are just returning home and trying to ease yourself back into the role of parenting. 

 

You never get home late and exhausted, dropping into bed, only to get up the next morning and muddle through the clutter to go to church.

 

You don’t return from church, realizing you don’t have the ingredients for the recipe that you, of course should never promise to make for a friend who is hosting over 60 high school kids at her house… because you don’t want to promise you’ll be helping supervise and serve food on your first day back.

 

You don’t throw together your recipe, and decide to take a walk because you, of course, didn’t overeat on your vacation.

 

When you return from you walk, you don’t have to run back out the door to be at the choir performance that your oldest child is in.

 

You don’t enjoy in the performance, enjoy the company and the kids after the performance… only to get home late and falling into bed again.

 

None of your children will have tummy aches and keep you up until 12:30 am… and none of your children will oversleep their alarm in the morning, throw on their clothes and leave late for school.

 

There will not be a pile of school papers demanding your attention and you will not be writing out checks and signing permission slips early Monday morning. 

 

You won’t rush out early Monday morning, with your house in danger of being declared a national disaster area… to eat (AGAIN) breakfast with a friend, get groceries, and deliver a child to preschool & school.

 

You won’t arrive home and sit down at your computer Monday afternoon, wondering how you could possibly be so exhausted, when you just returned from vacation!

 

None of these things have happened here this weekend.  Nope.  Not Me!

 

Pam