As a trans-racial-adoptive family, I am keenly aware of the issues that my children and I face... sometimes, I would love to pretend we don't face them. Sometimes, I think that I will never survive this with them. Always, I end up back at the fact that the Grace of God is the ONLY thing that is going to get us through any of this... being adopted... growing up black in a white family... being abandoned by our dad/husband... being rejected repeatedly as the years go by and he chooses to ignore our existence... add to that all the "normal" things that growing up entails... yeah... pretty much only going to make it by the Grace of God.
Laurel @ I'm "Ghana" Adopt shared some very thought provoking thoughts about Trans-racial Adoption. I appreciate her facing this tough subject. Her honesty, and her integrity. Worth the read.
Somewhere, on someone's blog, the past weeks, I saw this video. I found it very touching, and thought it very healing for my adoptive kids... not that they would "get it" now... but still... It is Nate Huss... shut off the Christmas music on the sidebar and have a listen...
So, I am laying with Jadon this past week, trying to get him to take a nap... this is the conversation...
Jadon: So, when I was a little, tiny baby. Who was that lady who's tummy I was in?
Me: T***a
Jadon: Yeah, that one in that picture.
Me: Yes.
Jadon: Where does she live?
Me: In South Carolina, I think.
Jadon: So how did she know where we live?
Me: She doesn't know where we live.
Jadon: So how did she know?
Me: You mean how did she find us?
Jadon: Yeah.
Me: There is a place called an adoption agency. And she called the adoption agency and said, "can you help me find a mommy for my baby? I can't take care of him and I need someone to help me." They told her that they had a family that wanted a baby boy. And they called us, and we went to get you.
Jadon: Oh. Okay. (Roll around... wiggle... roll around some more...)
Me: (praying for healing over my son... and for healthy understanding of adoption.)
Jadon: Would you get out of my room?
Me: No, Jadon, I am staying here with you.
Jadon: I don't want you here.
Me: That's okay, I'm still staying.
(5 minutes later)
Jadon: I love you.
Me: I love you too.
Pam
12 comments:
That so perfectly sums up parenting...I don't want you here...that's okay I'm still staying. Great post.
I think it's wonderful you all found each other.
Ahhhhh, what a sweet, inquisitive conversation. Your openness about it all will help in the healing for sure.
You're doing great, my friend.
Hugs from me to you!
The heart to hearts when they are young are the ones they will remember the most! Jadon is lucky to have you and I think he knows it.
Another 'Goosebump Post' from Pam.
:)
Very sweet! Don't ya just love cuddle time?
LORI
What a lucky little boy to have a mommy like you. That is a sweet conversation, those cuddly moments are always my favorite.
i can say that we have had those convo's here too! it's hard...brown and peach together and not coming form the same tummy as sister or bro...in fact, paige got mad at one point because before sofie, she was the only one who didn't get a birthmom too! kids!
ur doing a great job...prayer is key...and, keep being the mom god already called you to be!
I do not know your "story", but as I look at the family photo at the top of your page I cannot understand why a husband/father would leave this family behind. I cannot imagine what could be bringing his life more joy than all of you. In all the hard times and sad times rest assured he is the one really suffering. What he is missing! I wish you great strength each day...
I enjoyed your story. My husband and I adopted a sweet girl when she was 2 days old. She is now 16. God blessed us with such a wonderful happy child. My husband is african american and I am white..we were blessed to give birth to two other children since then. I have a 15 year old and a 11 year old as well. I have lived through many heartaches and pain caused simple from peoples words..other then that Im so blessed and happy! And come to think of it Im happy through those trials too...I so believe what is says in James Chaper 1!
What a beautiful song!! Oh your children are so blessed to be able to call you "mommy".
Praying for ya. I know what a tough time I am having right now...I know you feel so much of the same.
Love ya,
Sheryl
Reading your blog regularly I can see how loving and honest a parent you are. Your stories and insight to your daily lives gives me a perspective to be grateful for what we have and to accept things for what they are. Your truly a wonderful mom!
I recently found your blog through MckMama's blog(The frogger widget) and I have really enjoyed getting to know your family. I have given you an award... come to my blog to pick it up, and pass it on to 10 of your blogging friends.
God Bless,
Candace
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