Still kinda spinning…

I wanted to update you on the appointments I had with Kiahna’s counselor and doctor.  Quite honestly, I am still processing much of it, and don’t feel ready to write about it all quite yet.

I want to share something else with you instead.

This is a picture of Kiahna at one year old…

Can you see how red and raw her cheeks are?  She is enjoying a gluten free, sugar free, milk free, taste free, very expensive cupcake on her first birthday.

We had went to an allergist finally for answers.  I had went back and taken her off all foods, starting over with one at a time, searching for an allergy.  Searching for a reason for this severe eczema. 

It was two weeks after this birthday that HSSH left us.  I no longer had the ability to care what Kiahna ate.  Just feed her something.  No mental capacity to deal with anything outside of not losing my mind existed in me.

I can remember someone coming to get her to take her home with them, asking me about what she should eat, and answering that it just didn’t matter.

I listened to a tape not long after HSSH left that one of my friends gave me.  It was about prodigals.  It made a statement that I haven't forgotten and took very literally.   It said, “you need to keep praying, and you need to continue to pray, and you need to ask others to pray with you”.

I did that.  I began e-mailing a growing list of people who were in our lives and I trusted to pray for us.  The e-mails seemed to be a healthy outlet for me, and they seemed to be appreciated by those who received them. 

I know that my focus was on HSSH, mostly.  But, I also know that many prayed for our whole family.  And still do.  I don’t remember asking for specific prayer for Kiahna’s skin, but if you saw her it was clearly a problem she had.

I also didn’t take many pictures in that time frame.  I didn’t want to remember those days.  I truly wanted the nightmare to end and wanted no memory of that time.   But,  by Christmas of that same year, Kiahna’s skin was beautiful, clear, and hasn’t had any problems since.  It is even free of scars!  Which is also incredible as her bottom matched her face and her bottom is not without scars. 

This was taken later, but it is in my computer and I can’t find any of that Christmas.  (it was a very bad year.  see no pictures maybe I’ll forget it.  Highly unlikely)

I say all that because, in the past couple days of trying to put all the elements of what Kiahna deals with and does, in pot and come up with an answer or diagnosis for her, this has come to my mind.

I believe in the healing power of prayer.  I believe in the strength that comes from surrendering to God in weakness.  I believe because I’ve seen it.  I believe because I am living it. 

God has shown himself to be very mighty and clear to me in this week.  I want to share that with you soon.  And I promise I will.  In the meantime, keep praying for sweet Kiahna, and all of my children. 

Thanks so much,

Pam