Glass Half full kinda person…

I have always felt like I am a glass 1/2 full kind of person.  Looking for the good in people.  Trusting people.  Believing for the best.  Hoping for the miracles.  Never giving up. 

Lately I have been feeling more like that is getting lost.  Like I can’t see that glass as 1/2 full anymore…

Dreading the worst.

Bracing myself for the next trauma.

Fearful.

Negative.

I hate this.  I never, ever wanted to be like this.  I never wanted to be struggling to find a positive thing cling to.  Never wanted my feelings to rule my day.  Never wanted my circumstances to decide what kind of day I am going to have.  Or how I am going to feel.

Strange thing.

I feel like this blog can be a real depressing place for you all to visit.  I wonder why anyone would come over and read this?  Maybe it is because you feel the same way I do?   You find yourself feeling things you never wanted to feel?  Or dealing with circumstances you never dreamed you would deal with, and you come over here to read because you can relate.

Or you care.  And you pray.  And you hate seeing our long going process drag on and on, and you come over to speak a kind word, say a silent prayer, or you love on us in a physical way by being God’s hands of help to our family.

We are so blessed.  So very, very blessed.  I know that.  I really, really do.  I just don’t always “feel” it.  Does that make any sense?

I’d like to take the time to mention once again some of the wonderful blessings I have, you know, just to help my perspective…

* Our financial needs are met every month by our amazing church family.

* We have physical support daily from my parents and sisters.

* Our church family continually remembers us in prayer & physical support.

* I have wonderful friends who listen to me and pray for & with me.

* God has provided amazing counselors throughout this whole season.

* My children are healthy.

* My children are smart & (searching for another positive word here, coming up empty) uhhhh…. cute. (there we go cute is true.)

* I am healthy. 

* I am so blessed to be able to be a stay at home mom  (see the first point) be there for my kids activities, be a room helper, drive my kids to their preschools,

* I have time to write.

Thanks for enduring with me, I really needed to remember that today. 

“But we have this treasure in jars of clay to show that this all-surpassing power is from God and not from us. We are hard pressed on every side, but not crushed; perplexed, but not in despair; persecuted, but not abandoned; struck down, but not destroyed.”

2 Corinthians 4:7-9