Quitting

Yesterday I found out just how much I don’t like quitting.

Yesterday my oldest son TEXTED me DURING school hours, while I was at Walmart.

Irritation #1.

He’s breaking the rules & texting during school (he’s in pub class, where there isn’t traditional classroom, but still breaking the rules)

Irritation #2

Nonchalantly telling someone you are doing something that you know is going to (or at least you should know) upset them & doing it by text, and acting like they should have known, because they “told” you before they were thinking about it.

NO!

So, James says, “mom, I am going to quit swimming today & then I am going over to my friends house and we are going to go over to this gym and lift weights for 2 hours”

um… NO!

“I told you I was thinking of quitting, and it just isn’t fun anymore, I don’t like it and I think I should quit”

(is there a word for arguing through texting?) maybe I’ll create one… how about a “textgument”.

Yes, that works, so our textgument continued back and forth with me getting more and more frustrated and irritated, all the while trying to shop and remember what groceries I was looking for.

I told him that we were not going to continue this over text and that we would talk after school.

He didn’t like that answer.

Grandpa was called (by me, and then by James after I told James he needed to call Grandpa)

Grandpa advised James not to quit until he talked to his mom & that he needed to go home and talk to me face to face.

The good thing for me is that I had the time it took to finish shopping, drive to pick up Kiahna at preschool, wait for her to come out, drive home, & wait for him to arrive after school, to climb down off the wall that this had threw me up on, and to analyze my feelings and why I was so upset, and on what levels I was upset, and to decide how I wanted to handle this.

Never mind that I totally forgot about my groceries in the back of my van.  That didn’t happen, remember?

The biggest thing that I felt is my absolute rage over quitting for the reasons of something being “too hard” and “not fun anymore”. 

Isn’t that the largest reasons why people give up on their marriages these days? 

This morning on the news I heard that 45% of Americans are “unhappy” in their jobs.  The DJ made some comment about people needing to be happy that they have a job at all!  AMEN!

I’ll tell you, it really had me upset.  When I finally remembered my groceries & unpacked them, I didn’t even remember that I had bought some of the things I had in there.

James came home, and I was in a much more rational state of mind.  I laid out to him my different reasons why I didn’t agree with quitting.  & the different things that will change around here if he decided to quit.  & my frustrations over some other issues going on in our home over Christmas break.

He called Grandpa to come over.  I think he thought that Grandpa would override my thoughts and that Grandpa might give him his way.

Nope.

Grandpa went through the exact same things I had just said, and confirmed them to James.  James seemed to understand and see that he was wrong in this choice somewhere during the conversation.

Things about quitting and getting a job and not being able to do other activities he wants to do, and about responsibility, and living out what you say you believe, and about consequences.

It all ended with James saying he understands.  He’s NOT quitting the swim team.  Me compromising on a small issue and telling him that if he could keep up his grades he could still go the gym and lift weights after swimming if he wanted to.

(but the fact that he now has a lead in the school musical & between class, swimming, musical practice, hum weight lifting 2 hours a day??  & he already has a weight training class every day during school!!  good grief!)

He went to the gym.  Came home and hugged me.  Apologized. Thanked me for not letting him get away with that.

Wow.

I was blown away.  Thankful.  (checked for high fever) & so blessed. 

One of the things that I said to James, and my dad said too… as James was saying “I’ve never quit anything before and you guys are making such a big deal about this” 

YES!  It is a big deal.  I will NEVER be okay with ANY of my children quitting for the reasons of “it’s too hard”, “I don’t like it anymore”, “It’s just not fun”

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

WHO CARES!!  Do you know how many things I do every day that I DON’T find fun!!!!!  Or don’t LIKE to do!!  Let’s not even go to TOO HARD!!!

It was all I could do not to yell!! GROW UP!!

That’s what grown ups do.  They do things that are hard.  Things that are not fun.  Things that they don’t like to do.  They don’t give up because it’s not fun anymore. They don’t stop and decide to do something else just because it looks more fun.

At least they shouldn’t.

How many grown ups do though.

It just creates a fire in me.

The fuel being that my own husband gave up.  Decided it was “too hard” to work on our marriage.  That I wasn’t “fun anymore”.  That there was something else out there that looked more fun.  After all, shouldn’t we all just be happy? 

NO.

What a different world this would be if people didn’t quit when it got hard.  If people didn’t quit when it wasn’t fun anymore.  If people didn’t quit when something else looked more fun.

I pray that my sons & daughters NEVER EVER quit for any of those reasons.  I pray that I never do either.  I wish with all my heart that my husband hadn’t.

Would it be hard to fix this disaster that he had created with his choices?  Yes.  Would it be fun?  No.  Would there be other things that seemed easier?  Yes. 

But, what grows character?  What is honorable?  What reflects the light of Jesus Christ who we say we serve?

“Blessed is the man who perseveres under trial, because when he has stood the test, he will receive the crown of life that God has promised to those who love him.”  -James 1:12

I’ll get off my soap box now.  Maybe.

Pam