Things have been going well. Very well. I am feeling blessed. It is good. But, I’ve found myself afraid to say much. You know? As soon as you say something then something happens and ruins it all… so I’ve been kinda sitting back holding my breath… wondering. waiting.
Last week I had a wonderful time with a friend & counselor. We talked, had coffee, cried, prayed… processed… & mostly my heart just felt like it wanted to burst with the love I have for my God & my Jesus & the Holy Spirit… because He is more than I ever dreamed He would be.
I never believed that I could feel joy again, let alone joy like I have never felt before. Not unless everything I was praying for happened. Then I’d feel joy.
Many times I have heard that God wanted me to feel joy now. Before my prayers were answered. I didn’t see how. I couldn’t wrap my small brain around it all. Many times people have prayed. God heard.
Last week it really hit me. Many ways really. After the meeting with my friend, there was an opportunity to make some food (again) for the football team.
This time it is for a smaller group, 25-30 players as they watch game tape. It doesn’t have to be much, they say. I decided that I wanted to make beef stew.
CRAZY!
I thought, “NO! That is too hard. That will overwhelm you. You can’t do that. You don’t have to do that. No one is asking you to do that. Don’t do that.”
But, what I realized is that I wanted to do it. I realized that it feels SO good to actually be able to do something that I am finding pure joy in making beef stew for 25-30 football players!
CRAZY!
Live out 4 or more years in paralyzing fear, anger, worry,frustration, and pain… finally feel joy again… without your prayers being answered… then you will understand. Or at least try to understand. I don't think it’s understandable by our brains.
I don’t understand.
I’ve decided to run with it. I am making beef stew today. Lots of beef stew. And these boys have no idea how much my heart is rejoicing that I am able to make it. No idea… I have tears in my eyes right now because I am able to make beef stew!!
God, You make me laugh!
Pam
10 comments:
I'm so happy for you my friend. That will be the most delicious beef stew ever--food of love always is. Hope you have peace and joy today and everyday.
I have tears in my eyes reading this post Pam. That is awesome. God is so good. I hope that all your stew is eaten and loved by all! It sounds delish! IT has been so chilly here lately that stew is the perfect meal.
have a blessed Monday!
oh how i "get" this!!!
so glad you have found joy. it really is indescribable.
those boys are blessed today for sure.
Yay for God and Beef Stew!
We make ours (beef stew, not God)in the crock pot. YUMMY! I also make garlic cheddar cheese biscuits (similar to the ones at Red Lobster)...if you want the recipe, let me know - they.are.fabulous!
So glad to hear the JOY in your voice. :)
Blessings,
Laurel
I have tears in my eyes, too, right now. Just reading about your joy makes me tear up. I'm so happy for you, Pam. God is so very good. All the time.
Run with it and go make that beef stew!
Hugs and Blessings,
Carol
i love you, girl! i am soooo glad there's joy in your heart! you have no idea how happy that makes me!
and, i love the new shots on the sidebar of the kiddos!
and seriously, point of grace for music...i am totally feeling it! paige use to call them lord grace when she was little!
What a lovely post. I rejoice with you. I anticipate too you rejoicing with me when my moment comes as yours did. Even as I read this and know your journey, I still can't see it in my own journey. Of course you have over a year or more ahead of me, so if I'm following the same pace (laughing at my own analogy) then maybe mine is in site.
I can say on a similar note that I am personally preparing the refreshments (with work funds) for a meeting we are having Thursday. I was going to order in cheapos...chips/cookies. But I'm making small stuff....fruit trays, then my speciality: long horns sliced with slice of strawberry on it. So, maybe that counts. Maybe the small things count. Baby steps, right.
Love,
Paula
So glad you have things in your life to bring you joy!! You are truly a blessing to the boys that you are cooking for!!!
Blessings,
Ah, beef stew seasoned with joy and love. YUM! I think you need to pass that recipe around... more people need to make it and eat it! So glad to hear that it's morning at your house.. because joy comes in the morning...
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