This is my third year volunteering in the 8th grade class of our church’s VBS. I love being in this class. I enjoy the age. I enjoy getting to know the kids & having fun with them. I enjoy the teachers. I enjoy the lessons. Shedding many tears as the lessons touch my heart.
Until this year.
My son is in the class.
My son, the confident, cocky, cool kid… The one with “mad singing talent” and “no time to memorize” scripture. That one. The cute one. Other people find funny, but you just want to find a hole to crawl into… my kid…
Wow, he’s grown up a lot in the past year. That is his school picture this past school year. No wonder his knee is hurting from growing so fast!
I came home on Tuesday after VBS and thought, this kid is ruining this for me! I am letting his attitude ruin it for me! I am worrying myself into another tizzy. ANOTHER ONE! How could I do this? What if he starts making really bad choices? What if he rebels? What if HE ACTS LIKE I DID!!! WORST-NIGHTMARE-HORROR!!
I wondered how my parents survived without killing me. I wondered if I would survive without killing him.
Fun stuff.
On the way to VBS on Wednesday morning he made a comment to me… “You just need to stop caring so much mom. You need to be more like other people’s parents and stop caring so much” (AHHHHH!!!!!!!)
I had this thought… you know what buddy… you want me not to care? Today I will not be “your mom” in VBS. I told the other teachers I was going to ignore him. He was going to be their problem today.
So, when it was time to practice our music, I sat away from him. When it was time to walk to our class, I walked with other kids. When the other teacher was teaching the class, I sat away from him. If I couldn’t see him acting up he seemed to not act up as much. Of course. Another teacher said, he is just pushing your buttons. uh-huh.
Then came time for the next singing practice (we sing with a big group of the whole VBS & with only the 7th & 8th grades) A couple of the boys were being kinda loud, (not my kid) and I asked them jokingly if I was going to have to sit between them. They said, “YES!” and I did. Zach was right in front of us. I teased the boys and they put their arms teasingly around me. Fun! This is what I enjoyed about VBS, letting them have fun to a point and being a part of the fun.
Zach turned around and made some comment. I turned to the boy next to me and said, “who is that kid and why is he calling me mom?” We all laughed.
For the rest of the VBS time that day I played the game of ignoring Zach while he played along. His friends were calling me mom & I was calling them “sons” and we all just had fun together.
End of problem.
Thursday went completely different. Zach is no longer ruining my day.
Halleluiah!
Oh, and I told him that if he didn’t have time to memorize five small memory verses, then I didn't have time to take him to the ball diamonds either… funny… he learned them so quickly.
Stinking kid.
Yesterday, I taught the lesson in VBS. In the 8th grade we really try to focus on life choices. Like, one of the things we do is visit the county jail. That day one of the teachers speaks on consequences of sin. With the hope that visiting the jail and having a tour will drive that point home to them.
I was really not sure what I was going to speak about this year. The paper with the lessons planned out on it says “Evidence of God” beside my name. In the past I have just kind of gushed my testimony of what has happened in our marriage and told the kids how I have found God to be so big in my life through these trials.
I didn’t feel like I could just gush with Zach in there. I didn’t know what to do. I prayed about it. I came up with a plan. It fell through. I kept praying about it. A couple of Sunday morning’s ago I was up early and the whole lesson just came to me…
I could talk about being a Christian and having tragedy hit you… I could write different scenario's on note cards, tell the kids we were going in a time machine ahead 20-25 years and the scenario's on the note cards are what has happened in their lives over the past 20-25 years. Then I could ask them how they think they should handle it, and write down their ideas, talk a little about how I have handled it, and give them some scriptures… wa-la!
God you are brilliant!
I didn’t pull the notes from that Sunday back out again until yesterday. I made up the note cards, typed up the questions I wanted to ask, and it was done.
It went so well. God did so good!! Here are a few examples of what the note cards said…
- I am a divorced single parent.
- I have a non-life threatening incurable disease that has left me disabled for life.
- I drink, a lot, & no one knows.
I had 30 of these cards. All different. I passed them out along with another teacher. Another teacher, Lora, was passing them out to the back row of girls. She handed one to a girl, and the girl said, “I don’t want this one”, and handed it back. Lora handed her another, the girl said, “okay, I’ll take that one”. And took the first one she had been given.
The kids sat there with their cards silent. I asked them what they were thinking… “scared”, “mad”, “I don’t like this” were some of the initial reactions… they were getting it.
I had them go around the room reading their cards. I pointed out to them that while we had said in our time machine that we were all living our lives for Jesus as we passed through time, things like are on these cards still happen to us.
One girl said, “I never really thought about anything like this ever happening to me”.
I told them that if I went around the room and picked up the cards that I had experienced in my life, I would probably pick up 5 of the cards. And if the other teachers picked up cards they had experienced, many of the cards would be gone. And if we picked up the cards that our close family & friends experienced there wouldn’t be more than one or two of these cards left.
Then I asked them what they were going to do if these things happened to them. I had a white board and they gave me thoughts on what they could do if this happened. They started out with the “good” answers. You know, “pray”, “grow in my faith”, “start a fund to research my disease in search of a cure”.
Then I asked them about things they could choose to do that were not so good in these circumstances. Again they participated (while Lora threw starbursts to them for their answers, I’m not above bribery and they aren’t either!) They were really good though. I think they saw that there is a choice in how you react when things happen to you.
I shared with them a little testimony of how things happened in my life. I showed them my scripture note cards I started making after my husband left us almost 4 years ago. I shared a few of the scriptures that have sustained me.
They sat in silence and listened. I think they got the point. I hope they won’t forget it.
PRAISING GOD!! I know how incapable I was of doing the lesson. I know it all came from Him. He is so amazing to still be using this person who is so inadequate. Don’t you just love Him!
On a side-note. I do ask you to pray with me for Zach. He is at such a critical age. I do see some very scary tendencies in him. I also am hearing from other parents things he is saying at school. Not good things. I have also heard some things he said to his dad, and what his dad said back, on the visit a few weeks ago, and these are not good either. I see some of his friends talking about making choices that are not good, and some that are sticking strong with their beliefs. I see Zach gravitating towards the friends that are making the questionable choices.
He seems to be one that is going to have to learn the hard way. Wow, do I hate the thought of that. I know how hard a life is when you have to learn it all the hard way. When you don’t listen to those around you. I know. Boy, do I know.
Things this week have gotten better between Zach and I as the week has progressed. He seems to be a little more accepting and respectful of me. I hope it is something that we can maintain past these two weeks of VBS.
Pam
