Can we think about something else?
My neck, back & behind are sore.
My brain is sore.
I am struggling with overwhelm & low confidence…
photography.
photoshop.
customers.
photo processing.
screen checks.
pricing.
this is starting to feel much more like work than fun.
So, let’s talk about something else, shall we?
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Lucas’ teacher told me this week that he sees now why Lucas doesn’t start sentences with capital letters & end them with periods.
me?
Okay, i used to have this program that made them all capital for me, so I got out of the habit of pushing the shift key, so now it is hard to remember to do it, and all the kids are typing that way, so it makes me feel young and hip right! :)
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Another Varsity Football game tomorrow night. It’s been a hard season. We won the first 2 games and haven’t won since. Lots of injuries. New coach. It would be so nice to see things come together for the team.
James is pretty bummed. He wishes he would be passed to more. He doesn’t understand. It’s hard for me to understand too. (remember me, the one who didn’t even know what position my son played and this is year 4 of him playing!)
Hoping for a good game tomorrow night. Praying for safety for the players.
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If you are reading this and I used to have your e-mail address… and you haven’t heard from me in 3 weeks by e-mail. It’s because I don’t have your e-mail address anymore. Please resend. Thank you.
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I don’t know how things are going with Kiahna and school. I admit to being a little confused and discouraged. She is going 3 days. And the teacher says that it is “much better than last year”. But she is not anywhere near being capable of handling kindergarten. Sometimes I wonder if she comprehends.
She has been learning the letter “P” at school all week… so we are in the van and she hands me her paper and I say…
“Oh, look Kiahna this letter starts mommy’s name, what is this letter?”
“I don’t know.”
“Yes, you do, what is this letter?”
“I DONT KNOW”
“Well, what is Mommy’s name?”
“Mommy.”
“No, My name is Pam, what does Pam start with?”
“I don’t know”
“What is this letter?”
“I DONT KNOW!”
The teacher told me this week, “I don’t know how you do it.”
I don’t think I like that comment. That comment makes me feel like she is seeing something I am not. It makes me feel like Kiahna will not be ready for kindergarten next year. That comment scares me.
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Blah-dee---Blah-daa…
wanna talk about photography again?
me neither.
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Jadon cut himself in the chin with his scissors at school today. Got blood on his shirt and went to the nurse and she gave him a clean one.
I’ve washed and returned the school nurse’s shorts 3 times, and now I have a shirt. Interesting… all my other kids have NEVER went to the nurse for clean clothes…. Jadon has 4 times, in what? 6 weeks of school. (and all 4 times were in the past 2 weeks!)
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Last night I decided that I needed to mop my kitchen floor. I really didn’t want to. So, to motivate myself I decided to shatter a 9x13 dish of 1/2 gone chicken enchiladas all over the floor.
The floor is mopped.
Jadon cut his foot tonight. Guess I missed a spot.
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Poor Jadon…
Poor James…
Poor Kiahna…
Not sure what the other three could complain about… but I am sure we could find something!!
Poor Me! LOL!! Sounding kinda whiney and tired, like I should be in bed, aren’t I!
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Heard about an acquaintance who’s husband is doing to her and her children what mine did, this week. I sat there thinking, I should talk to her, call her, do something to encourage her.
Her faith is strong. Her hope is too… Much like mine has been.
But, am I an encouragement or a discouragement to someone just starting out on this journey? I don’t know. I want to be an encouragement to her… to anyone else going through this nightmare…
Here I am 4 years of hoping, waiting, praying, and walking it out… my circumstances are the same… but I am living life. I am happy (most of the time, but we aren't talking about how my photography has been going)
I’ve found God to be HUGE in all of this, even as my prayers for HSSH seemingly change nothing in him. God has taken care of me and my children. He has protected us. He has carried us through.
That has to be an encouragement doesn’t it?
Pray with me about that will you? Lord, I want You to use what I have been through for your glory… sometimes I can get in the way with my thoughts and my ideas and my fears and my disappointments… help me… use me…
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Speaking of HSSH. He has been coming to most of the kids games. That is good for them.
He told James that he would not be able to attend “senior night” in 2 weeks. James was really bummed… I was relieved…
I feel guilty about being relieved, and I am sad for James… but it is so much easier if I don’t have to walk down that football field in front of all of those people and pretend like this is all “normal”
Mostly he just ignores me.
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So, there you have it, another long, pretty whiny, and maybe a tad depressing blog post…
If you know how to make my computer screen match my photo lab leave me a comment.
That is if you want to talk photography… cause I don’t. I am not obsessive. And don’t lose any sleep over this. And have not spent countless hours editing and teaching myself this week and have no idea if what I see on the screen is what the print is going to look like & if people will like it… so if you are going to critic my style of editing this would not be a good day.
K?
If you think I am losing my mind… maybe you want to come over and help me find it… cause I am pretty sure you are on the right track!
Time for bed!
Pam
