A random splattering of thoughts

Racing full speed in my brain & life towards the end of summer… scrambling for the breaks… while my computer… trusty ole’ soul… takes it’s own sweet time, and I fold a load of laundry while it loads a screen.  I had so many amazing thoughts 2 hours ago, when my house was still quiet.  Too bad my computer is so slow, I fear I’ve lost them all!!

We are racing towards the end of summer and school starting… it will be less than a month, August 18 that will be the first day.  First day of James senior year, Zach’s freshmen, Leah’s 7th grade, Lucas 5th grade, Jadon’s kindergarten, & Kiahna’s preschool… part of me really has to focus to enjoy these days and not wish that the were already here, and part of me wants to grasp on and not move forward. 

I truly find myself (and my kids but they don’t realize it) missing our routine badly about this time of the summer.  Jadon and Kiahna are not doing as well as they were on the days that life had a routine & predictability.  (predictably busy, but predictable anyway)

School starting will mean graduation will come in the spring.  I will mean in a year James will (HOPEFULLY) be heading off to college.  It will mean so many things will be “last time” for James.  I know it’s all good, and it will all be fine, but it is all very sad and hard to see come to an end.  A new era will begin in my life, one I feel decidedly too young for…

Speaking of being too young, I do turn 37 next week!  EEK!  See, told you I was too young.  Of course I was too young to have James when I did, too young to get married when I did, too young to have to deal with all that I had to deal with when I did… so yeah… follows suit.

I just pray so many things go better for my kids than they did for me.  Yet, I look at my life, and can’t hardly say I am not glad that the things that have made me into the person that I am today didn’t happen… yet there is so much pain involved in getting there.  It sure is hard as a parent to know that our kids are going to have to learn some hard painful lessons in life… and to know that our role is mostly to sit back and pray that they survive it.

James and Dad got home from Canada on Saturday.  They had a good time.  My camera made it back too!  James has been working on making a slide show and editing things.  Maybe he will give me permission so show it here when he is done, but for now, how about a couple of photos?

James and Grandpa

The 3 boys, Dirk T, James, and James I.  (it was these three ages 18-20 and 2 dads & 1 grandpa)

How awesome is this!?!

They had a great time.  Lots of memories!

James realized when he got home that he would only be working 4 more days, and then it is football, football, football.

I got a letter from the football mother’s club, meeting soon to plan the annual chicken BBQ fundraiser that pays to support the feeding of the team all through the season and more.

Lastly, I met with our church treasurer last week to go over our budget, expenses, etc.  It was a good meeting.  He and our church family are so supportive of us.

I was left with a very strong, stronger than ever, feeling of how much we don’t deserve this support.  How how we have done nothing to deserve it & how we can never pay it back.  Where we would be without it. 

So much like God and His Grace, His Mercy, His saving ways.  It is probably the biggest “word picture” of His Amazing Ways that I have ever experienced.

There are no words to describe how this feels.  All I can do is Praise, Honor, and Glorify the God of Heaven.  Who Was & Is and Is to come.

This morning in the study Me Myself & Lies (Week 5, Day 1) Jennifer said,

“When was the last time you told your soul to ‘forget not’?  Your soul needs such prompting,  Otherwise you can too easily focus only on today, this moment, this worry, this problem.  Yet our memories of God’s benefits are just as compelling and every bit as real.”

Oh Lord, may my soul never forget that it is only by Your Great mercy that this has all not consumed me…

Yet this I call to mind and therefore I have hope:

Because of the LORD's great love we are not consumed, for his compassions never fail.

They are new every morning;great is your faithfulness.

I say to myself, "The LORD is my portion;  therefore I will wait for him."

Lamentations 3:21-24

Pam