A couple weeks ago, it was a Sunday evening… I had photographed a wedding all day, it had been a gorgeous day, with a stunning bride & a knock out location for the shoot… I was uploading my files from my camera to my lap top when it hit me…
I love photographing weddings…
The profoundness of that thought just blew me away… because after all the pain that marriage has caused me in my life… God is using weddings to bring me great joy… to provide for my family… and HE has brought healing into my life in this area in a way I would never, ever have dreamed was possible.
My mind was awash with the verses in Isaiah about beauty for ashes…
“and provide for those who grieve in Zion—
to bestow on them a crown of beauty
instead of ashes,” Isaiah 61:3
It struck me hard that God was really doing this in my life… it’s not just words… it’s real.
I have written in my Bible, from a counseling session in 2009, “God is doing verses 1 to 3 so that He can do verses 4-11… I’d have to agree two years later, I finally am seeing it…
“Instead of your shame
you will receive a double portion,
and instead of disgrace
you will rejoice in your inheritance.
And so you will inherit a double portion in your land,
and everlasting joy will be yours.” verse 7
The hard days in the past six years (wow), have been overwhelming… and we still have hard days. Jadon had a hard time on Sunday, dealing with Father’s day… the rest of the kids didn’t voice their pain or frustration, but I know at least one of them is doing an awful lot of “running” still.
Since Sunday though I have seen a change in Jadon. I’ve seen a better attitude & better attachment to me. The issue for Jadon & Kiahna is double force with the abandonment of their birth families & then the abandonment of their adopted dad. We are in counseling, I am taking Jadon today to the counselor that has been helping me with Kiahna.
I say all that I guess to give a more accurate picture. Are we “done” dealing with this issue? No, but we are better, we are beginning to taste that “double portion”… we are beginning to have more days of joy, rather than the darkness & ashes.
I am incredibly excited & blessed by the path I am seeing James take these days. God is doing a work there… It’s leaving me with my mouth hanging wide open at this point… wanting to pinch myself to see if this is real. I’ll share more as I can, but wow.
I see Zach making more mature choices, I hope. He’s in Wisconsin with the basketball team & some parents right now. I would be lying to you if I said I wasn’t a little bit concerned he was going to so something stupid. I haven’t had any phone calls… so I hope that’s good news. He has a great heart, but he is very influenced by others… and he is my “runner”… how busy can he keep himself so he doesn’t have to deal with reality?
If you don’t have links to my photography pages it’s time you got those!!
This is my photography website
My heart’s desire is to glorify God in all of this, go take a peek at what HE has done… I am stunned.
Pam
4 comments:
Wow, once again you taught me something about God's healing love.
Love the new look, love your writing style.
Glad things are going well.
These verses meant a lot to me ... as I have been walking a very HARD journey the past 3 years. I am waiting for the "everlasting joy", or at least a glimpse of it.
Hope your weekend has been BLESSED!
Laurel
Pam, I have been with you over the years and felt so sad and frustrated over your situation. I am GRATEFUL to see the other side of the valley with you! Hallelujah!
I will go visit all of your links.
Love!
Beth
I am so moved by what God is doing in your life. I remember reading posts by you that were filled with understandable pain and now I am reading about unmistakable joy. Oh how I praise Him!
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