Confident

I was struck with something last week.

My oldest son has grown into a very confident young man.

I was struck by his lack of fear of what others might think of him.

I was struck by my own realization that at his age I was ruled by what others thought of me & in many ways still am today.

A couple weeks ago, James went to his dad’s old closet, found a tie, sewed it into a “skinny tie” and proceeded to wear it to school… like this…

(found this picture of him on facebook, he doesn’t normally carry the Cen*sus bag, okay, that’s not part of the outfit) 

I just saw his girlfriend looking up at him down at the bottom of the pix.

Okay. See?  Confident.

He came upstairs for his college weekend visit wearing this outfit last Friday.

Me:  “Are you sure you want to wear that today?”

J:  “Sure, why wouldn’t I?”

Me:  “ummm… I just hope they “get” your style”

J:  “they will”

Me: “okay then”

While in my brain I am thinking, ARE YOU CRAZY!?  WHAT IF THEY THINK YOU ARE WEIRD?  THIS WILL BRING ATTENTION TO YOU!  WHAT IF YOU DON’T FIT IN?  WOULDN’T A TSHIRT AND JEANS JUST BE BETTER?  I WOULD HAVE NEVER BEEN CONFIDENT ENOUGH TO WEAR A GIG LIKE THAT TO COLLEGE VISIT DAY!!  NEVER!!  NOT ALONE!  NOT WITH ALL THE UNKNOWNS!  NO WAY!  NOT ME!  EVER.  NOPE.

Wow.

The realization that he didn’t have a concern like plagues me.  That he is confident.  And a leader.  And ready to take college life on with both hands.

Wow.

The realization that I live much of my life worried about what other people think of me.

Uhg.

Anyway.  James loved his overnight visit to AU!  He roomed with a football player.  He has full intentions of playing football next year at AU. 

AU was hosting and in, their conference basketball tournament this past weekend.  James loved going to the game, dressed in all black (that was the theme of the game “black out the _____)  and storming the court after AU won by 1 point!  He also loved going to an inside track meet on Saturday.

Bringing him back down to earth with the reality that he is still only a high school senior who needs to finish his last 1/2 of his senior year and focus on life here.  That’s where we are now.

I am really, really, thankful for the peace and the joy and the excitement I feel when I think about James going to college at AU.  I get so excited for him.  It is a good place to be. 

Pam