Thursday, August 19, 2010

James is packing…

Finally, I was thinking this afternoon that he was not really going to leave, or that I was going to have to start packing it for him!!

logo We leave early Saturday morning for the 2 1/2 hour drive to Bethel.  We are pulling a trailer with all 3 of the boys (all from our high school) who are rooming together’s stuff inside.

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(That’s James & Tim, one room mate, on orientation day)

They are planning to loft all 3 beds & they have a couch & chair, a tv, a fridge, a microwave, and tons of clothes & other junk!!  I am sure it is going to be quite a crowded room.

There will be freshmen only there until mid-week & then the first day of classes is on Thursday.

It’s been weird for the other 5 kids to go off to school & he’s still here.

He’s been doing his best to show his independent spirit & make this move easier on all of us.  In fact I am to the point where I just feel.  It’s time.  Let’s get this thing done.

Tuesday he and I went shopping for stuff he needs.  I thought I might strangle him at some points.

It’s time he goes to college.

Hoping he learns a lot.

Hoping he grows up a lot.

Hoping he makes mature choices.

Hoping he grows in his walk with the Lord.

Hoping God is all over this move.

I have peace.  I have to believe God is in control. 

I have to believe it with all my kids. 

Trust me when I say, that when I start to waver & doubt, it’s not a pretty sight.

I’ve wavered & doubted God’s control over my life & my children’s lives.

Raising kids is hard.

I am learning.

School is going well (as far as I know) for everyone!!  Which is nothing short of a miracle, and I almost hesitate to say it out loud (so read this paragraph in whispers, ok?).  I am really thankful.  Hoping we continue this way.

I am loving my free of kids time.  I finally feel like I am gaining my ground.  Getting laundry worked on, cleaning things, sorting & straightening things, moving one kid out requires going through him & his brother’s things, since they share a room & closet.  It’s a really good feeling to start to gain some control over out of control areas of my life.

I think this new season is going to be okay.  I think we are going to adjust.  And we are going to thrive.  And God is going to continue to walk with us through each new day. 

Bethel holds a family picnic on Saturday afternoon, then they “dismiss” us parents & take our kids off to their first meeting…  My parents & all the kids are coming.  (James called & invited his mia dad, we will see what happens there) (mia dad didn’t see his kids outside of a quick birthday lunch with James & Zach all summer)

If you think about it pray for us, and all the other families sending their kids away to college these weeks!!

Thanks!

Pam

Monday, August 16, 2010

First Day of School… 10,8,6,1, & K!

Today is the day!!!

Wake up early…

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Breakfast…

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With a spoon…

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All ready!!!

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Walking in to the middle school… getting suckers at the door from campus life! IMG_7992

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They look a little nervous don’t they?  I hope it’s going well for them!!

I am enjoying the semi-peace & quiet… I still have one here…he doesn’t go til Saturday.

Pam

Sunday, August 15, 2010

I am ready. I think.

So, I sit here on the night before I send my baby off to all day kindergarten & 5 days before I send my oldest off to live at college.

The week I’ve been dreading, anticipating, worrying, excited over, & thinking about for well over a year.

I think I am ready.

I know I am ready for the structure that school brings to our lives.

Ready for some time without children around.

It’s been a long summer.

It’s been 19 years since I was without kids all day every day. (Kiahna’s done preschool, but by the time you get home it’s time to go back and pick her up again, doesn’t really cut it)

Of course 19 years ago, when I wasn’t a parent, I had just graduated from high school. 

Bizarre.

I have high hopes of gaining some ground on my house.  I have high hopes of cleaning & organizing & sorting & throwing away & giving away. 

I wonder what it’s like to live in a house that is cleaned all the time & not in a constant state of disarray.

I’d love to know. 

But, for the most part the price has been too high to find out before now.  And even now I still don’t know if I want, need, or should make that my priority.

Maybe.

Will I volunteer at the school.  Not sure.  Not sure if it would help Kiahna or hurt to see me there.  Not sure I have it in me to give of my time this year. 

Feeling very burnt out and frazzled.

Frustrated with my children.  Lost phones.  Poor choices.  Miscommunications.  Disappointments.  Noise. Fighting.  Complaining.  Whining.  Laziness… life without structure is fun for awhile, but not for very long.

I am ready to send James to college.  I think.  I know it’s time.  I am tired of thinking about it.  Wondering about it.  Anticipating it.  Let’s just get this done already & move on to our next new normal.

We will be leaving early Saturday morning and spending the whole day on campus with him.  There is a family picnic at 5:00 and then they pretty much dismiss us and take the students off for 4 days of freshmen orientation.

It’s time.

Remind me of that next week okay.  I think I will be okay, but just in case. 

So, I am trying to pray for the teachers & the students, my mind keeps going 1000 mph in other directions… praying for peace.

Praying for God to show me how He wants me to spend these new free hours I now am going to have in my life starting tomorrow…

It’s hard to believe!

Pam

Thursday, August 12, 2010

Contest Ends Today!! Sale does too!!!

Update:

***  Contest is now closed!!  Winner is #3 comment, Nancy!!  ****

CONGRATULATIONS NANCY!  And thanks to all who played along!!

**************************

The contest I am running on my photo blog to win a free set of note cards is ending today!!

GO HERE TO ENTER TODAY!!!!!

Today is also the last day that I am offering the cards at discounted pre-order price!

BUY NOTE CARDS HERE TODAY HERE!!!

If you win I will refund your money!! :)

The reason the contest is over & the pre-sale ends is because the CARDS HAVE ARRIVED!!!

002And there are a lot of them!!!!  I don’t want have be beg but … pllllllllllleeeeeeaaaasseee  buy some cards!!! :)

Pam

Wednesday, August 11, 2010

Wordless Wednesday

Zach catch 6383 copy

R & W Zach 6434

Football 2010 Team Photos 124 copy Sophmores 104 copy

It’s totally football time!!!

Pam

Monday, August 2, 2010

A big long update post…& new photos of my kids…

It’s been so long since I’ve felt like I had a guilt free moment to myself!!  It’s 9 pm & 3 of my kids are asleep & 3 of my kids are gone for the next 24 hours or more!

The 3 sleeping ones…

James, the worker, (& no new photos) in the blazing August heat & humidity all day, went right to bed when he got home with a “I didn’t get near enough sleep this weekend” comment. (YA THINK!?!)

3 weeks from last Saturday we will move him up to college.  I am actually excited & ready for it.  I wonder at myself sometimes, have a processed this?  Am I going to be okay?  When am I going to lose it?

His car was parked (as usual) behind mine in front of the garage, I told him “One of the things I WONT miss about you going to college!!  You car always being in my way!”  In the next moment I also knew, it would be one of the things I will miss.

Sounds like I need to start writing “YOUR Gonna Miss this Moments” again.  Would anyone join me?  Do I have any readers left after my scattered blogging??  Hello???

Zach is also asleep, after his first day of 2-a-day football practice, he turned in early.

Zach 2010 IMG_5602 logo It’s been a long summer with him.  He’s had too much time on his hands & had quite a few moments when I wished he had more of a job.

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His work ethic stinks.  He has worked a little, but complained every time. Since the law changed on July 1, he now has to wait until January 7, 2011 to get his drivers license.  (It would have been August 7 (5 days from now, thank You Jesus for the law changing!!)

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This one is so not responsible enough to be set free behind the wheel of a car… don’t trust him.  Nope.    By January, I hope it will be better, but it will also be icy here… uhg.

Miss Leah is not home tonight.  I dropped her off for cheerleading practice at the school & she went home with a friend.  They are going to Ceda*r Poin*t tomorrow with their 4H club. 

Leah  August 2010 103 logoShe’s hit the teen years like a mack truck.  Spending lots of time in front of the mirror, worrying about her hair… she’s a ball of fun with her friends &  a ball of grumps when she’s with us.

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Are we having fun yet???

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Three teenagers in the house… not so much fun.

At least they are cute.

Lucas is up at the lake with Grandma & Grandpa.  G & G rented a lake cottage for the week.  They are taking groups of grandkids to spend some days with them.

No new photos of him yet, since he’s been gone a few days.

He will start middle school in 2 weeks.  School is hard for him.  It’s not going to be fun.  He’s not playing any sports this fall, (THANK GOD!!!)  So, he will be working hard at school & We will only go to 2 or 3 football games a week, rather than 3 or 4!!!

Jadon… Jadon, Jadon, Jadon…

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Read a whole post about my photo session with him over on my HERE on my photo-blog.

He has had a good summer though.  He has his moments, all kids do.  His A*D*H*D is under control with medication, supplements, counseling…  He’s doing pretty well.

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He’s up at the lake with Grandma & Grandpa too.

First grade should be a whole lot of fun! 

Miss Kiahna is asleep in my bed right now… (I HOPE!)  Or messing with things in my room.

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Life is still pretty complicated for Kiahna.  She isn’t responding very well to the A*D*H*D meds we’ve tried.  She’s pretty zoned out & has no appetite for lunch.

I tried some weeks this summer of no meds.  It was hard.  I took her to her counselor.  That was hard. 

Counseling hasn’t felt helpful.  Not sure if we should continue.

We are still waiting for the testing that was ordered last May.  Apparently, the specialists who do the neurological testing we are waiting to get, only take a few medi*cade patients a month. 

We’ve been told it could be the first of the year.

In the waiting… we… well… wait.  We wonder.  We question.  We don’t parent as effectively as we could if we knew. 

The counselor asked if I had heard of Asper*gers Syndrome, she thinks Kiahna should be tested for that.

I guess I’ve heard the word, but I really had no clue what it is.  Checking online for anything is scary.  But, I have to wait until the first of the year for testing.

This is all just a whole lot frustrating.

When I finally did look it up online, I found the following on the list of traits to describe children with this syndrome… (there were more but these describe her to a t)

  • * Not pick up on social cues and may lack inborn social skills, such as being able to read others' body language, start or maintain a conversation, and take turns talking.
  • *  Be unable to recognize subtle differences in speech tone, pitch, and accent that alter the meaning of others’ speech. Thus, your child may not understand a joke or may take a sarcastic comment literally. Likewise, his or her speech may be flat and difficult to understand because it lacks tone, pitch, and accent.
  • *  stare at others.
  • *  Talk a lot, usually about a favorite subject. One-sided conversations are common. Internal thoughts are often verbalized
  • *  Have heightened sensitivity and become over stimulated by loud noises, lights, or strong tastes or textures.

There were just as many symptoms on the list that she doesn’t show, but it is some clue to what we may be dealing with. 

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How exactly does one learn to parent a child like this?  And how does one teach others to deal with a child like this.  I have no idea.  I bet I learn.

So… I am still juggling a lot of plates.  Still needing a lot of prayer.  I’ve been neglecting myself & feeling very tense. 

I am loving my work with photography.

I have booked 2 more weddings & some other things already for the fall. 

See my next wedding couple's engagement photos here (a few of them at least, I am not done with them all yet)

I did the summer cards, you are probably sick of hearing about them.   I am holding a give away on my photo blog, so go sign up.

I took a leap & ordered  quite a few different designs & styles & I need to sell them!!  I am offering them for a discount right now.  You can buy them on Esty.

Thanks for the prayers, for reading.  I’d love to hear from you if you read this!

Pam

Saturday, July 31, 2010

HAVING A GIVE AWAY!!!

You have to go over here to enter though!!

Scripture Note Cards Blog It Board

All the details are over on my photo blog & all the links to the sites to purchase the prints or pre-purchase the cards are up and running!

Your support is so appreciated!!

Pam

Friday, July 30, 2010

A long time ago…

A long time ago, I used to blog regularly.

I blogged about my feelings.

My emotions.

My family.

My Adoption.

My divorce.

My God.

That was before.

Before I started my own business.

Before I had a senior.

Planned a big graduation party.

Stressed out with emotions over my oldest leaving the nest.

It’s time for me to find that balance again in my life.

Time to stop reeling from James’ Senior year & get my bearings on our new normal life.

Two weeks left of summer vacation.

Three weeks until we move James 2 1/2 hours away to college.

I am not living in the moment.

I haven’t relaxed.

I am overwhelmed.

Stressed out.

Grouchy.

Irritated.

Completely & totally unable to get myself back on track… I cry out to God for help.  He’s the only one who will get me there.

Prayers. 

Thanks.

Pam

Thursday, July 29, 2010

Grace

Queen Anns Lace Grace 387 copy

One of the note cards available NOW in my Etsy shop

Going to be hanging in my house soon as a print.

My favorite.

This morning I was walking, Queen Ann’s Lace is abundant here in the country’s un-mowed side ditches… surrounded by grace…

Do I need it.

Pam

View all the summer prints here.

Saturday, July 24, 2010

Summer Note Cards

I have been wanting to get some more note cards printed for selling in my Etsy shop.  Doesn’t seem like I’ve had much time for that this summer!!  I took a few photos yesterday and would love to have your thoughts on them.

I would also love to hear what kind of cards you would like to see me offer.  Do you like them to say “Thank You” or something about “sympathy”?  Or do you just like the verses or the one words like “grace” or “hope”? 

Leave me a comment with your favorite & your thoughts. 

#1

Thank You Card copy

#2

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#3

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#4

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#5

Summer 2010 069 thank you copy 

Pam