We spent the last 2 nights of Christmas break at the Potawatomi Inn
Tobogganing…
Zach’s on the back of the one above (cousins in front). Below, James is in back, then Zach, Lucas & cousin Brandon in front…
Leah, Jadon, Kiahna & Grandma… Kiahna repeatedly told Grandma how “mean” she was for making her go down this hill.
Warming freezing hands by the fire pit…
Leah & Livia in the line… 
Swimming…
The kids went back to school on Wednesday.
Kiahna refused to get out of the van on Wednesday. And on Thursday.
Today she got out in the car pool lane without a fit. Good news!
Her behaviors continue to be a huge concern.
Put her back on the medication she was on before the last one we tried. She seems to be just as angry off the medication as she is on it. At least on the medication she is calmer & less impulsive. We will see how long this lasts.
Her neurologist no longer takes our insurance. Found that out yesterday.
Taking her to her new therapist today. She doesn’t take our insurance either.
A week from today we are meeting at school to go over her IEP. The special ed teacher admitted to me today that Kiahna is the first diagnosed FAS child she has worked with.
UHG.
DEAR GOD…. HELP!!!!
James went back to college on Wednesday too. It was really nice to have him home. It went well. He’s maturing a lot and I am really proud of him.
Track meets start up for him next weekend. We will try to get to some of them, many of them are hours away from here.
Zach is 16 & 180 days today. Officially old enough to take his drivers test & get his license.
This could be good or bad. We will see won’t we.
(repeat above prayer here)
Leah’s birthday is Monday. She will be 14. She is planning a party for next weekend. Wants to have boys and girls.
shudder.
pray above prayer again.
I purchased a family membership to the new wellness center about 5 miles from our house.
I’ve walked/ran 10 miles this week. Swam some laps too. Mentally I can see a big improvement in myself. Physically, my body is screaming some things I can’t repeat on this family blog.
It will be good for us all.
Better diet. More exercise. Good things.
Pam
I am looking through recipe books. Finding recipes that don’t contain milk, white flour, or sugar.
Needing to buy some groceries.
Needing to pack food & clothing for our little family trip that we are going on tomorrow.
Wanting to feel positive and encouraged about the new year.
The old one ended quickly when we tried to spend some time with a large group of friends and my 6 year old bit someone.
My 6 year old who I have recently been told has FASD. Fetal Alcohol Spectrum Disorder.
As I read and educate myself, I see her fitting more and more into this box.
I find myself fighting tears as I realize this is our life. It’s not going to suddenly be something she “grows out of”.
I want to get her a t-shirt with a full explanation on the back of her hidden disability & how she really isn’t a bad kid.
As she makes the dog growl for millionth time at my feet.
I met with a new counselor this past week. One who I believe will help me & her learn & deal with this disability.
I learned of a place in Chicago where I can take her and have a full neuro-physc screening done, that is supposed to be able to tell us what parts of her brain are working properly and which ones aren't.
Those things are encouraging.
When school starts back up again next week we will set up a meeting with all the people who work with her. We will make her a new IEP based on her new diagnosis.
Will school get better?
Maybe.
Maybe not.
We just tried our 5th medication on her to try to alleviate some of the symptoms. Fail.
I am learning that FAES is brain damage.
Diet changes seem to help many people with FAES. (why I am going through the recipe books)
Neurotransmitters that send messages from the right to left & vice versa sides of the brain don’t fire like they should. Medications don’t absorb like they should.
Everyone with these disorder is different, because whatever was developing the day that the substance was abused is what was damaged.
I need help.
I know God is providing it.
Meanwhile, part of me is so hurting. Grieving. Aching. Angry.
Pam
