How I spent my tax check

It was my very first tax check since being divorced…

I had this idea to re-do my living room… replace my 15 year old furniture with something new & pretty…

Add some color to the blah….

My sister & I went and purchased a very cool chair from Pier 1, got a lamp & end table on sale & a bunch of awesome throw pillows!

So much fun!  We shopped & shopped for couches, chair 1/2’s, ottomans, searched for just the right one for my house… found it… great price!

Then the basement flooded…

Now I have a deductible to meet.

I need a back up sump pump, I also need a new regular sump pump.

I have a brother-in-law who can do the work for me on those things.

Then the dryer broke.

I had been given a used washer a month or so ago, my washer had broken then.

So… I spent my tax check… all in one week… not to mention my savings account…

I am blessed to have the cash to pay for it all.  For that I am very, very thankful.

I just didn’t get to spend it quite like I was hoping to… oh well.

Pam

Because I really don’t know what to say…

I have found myself shying away from writing probably for more than one reason… I can tell myself “I don’t have time”, but reality is we make time for what we want to do.

I don’t know what to say might be more accurate.

Or, I am so burnt out by the end of the day I don’t have the energy to write about it.

Or, I am so afraid I don’t want to put it into print because the truth is rather painful.

Or, I am fearful of being mis-understood… or mis-representing… or just plain being wrong.

Because with my youngest, I am on a learning curve every day.  Learning about special needs & FAES… things I’ve never been exposed to on a personal level… things that frighten me & discourage me… and keep the future looking very uncertain.

Since the last time I wrote about Kiahna, she has improved in her behaviors dramatically.

I am extremely thankful.

But.

I have been told that I should “enjoy the good days, because history shows that when you have FAS the medications work for a time and then quit working”

The day that Kiahna got the flu, we also began a new medication.  It was secondary to the one she was already on for ADHD. 

ADHD medications have made her act out more violently…

So, we added a “mood stabilizer” to her ADHD med.

When she got the flu, we had a full week of her being very, very docile & sweet.  It was heavenly.  You have no idea.

As she recovered from the flu & her energy returned, we began to see that her behavior was improved. 

The past week of school has went much better than any time before for her.  The teacher reports that she is blending with the other kids & that she is not disrupting the classroom, and other positive things like that.

For me she has done much much better, but when I tried to take her into a store this past week the “overstimulation” was apparent quickly…and we ended up having a stand off before we could get her back home again.

I feel like I let down my guard & began to feel relaxed about her behavior & tried to do something “normal” with her along & got kicked in the gut.

Then we go to the cycle of my fear creating her fear & escalating her behaviors… Jadon escalates her behaviors, they feed off of each other & reactions can get ugly quick.

I am extremely thankful things are going better at school… things are better, but the condition isn’t going anywhere… & we have a long road ahead… which is overwhelming so I’ll just look at the step we need to make today.

In April we need to re-write her IEP.  I have been in touch with another parent who has 2 FAS children & she is going to help write it up & be our advocate. 

I feel like with this improved behavior the temptation might be to overlook many things that the IEP needs to contain… so we have to put in place what we do when she grows & the medication stops working… very,very hard to think about for me.

Moving forward onto today… when I will take her to church & pray she doesn’t have a tantrum… and I’ll take her to my parents & pray that she doesn’t melt down or hurt any of the kids… and I’ll hope to have enough left to ask her to go sit and listen to the swing choir sing tonight… It’s a lot to ask of her… but it’s our life…and I am not sure what else to do.

Pam

Continuing the update I started last weekend…

Thanks to the flooding, I never got back to that update I promised on the younger 3 kids! 

My fourth child, Lucas, thinks he is going to become a teenager in May… he’s still such a sweet kid without attitude… such a joy.

He probably does more housework (2nd to Leah) than any of the kids.  He rarely complains.

His patience is amazing… but, I  have to say that in the past months, even his patience has worn thin with Jadon & Kiahna’s behaviors.

Jadon LOVES to antagonize Lucas.  We were having mornings where they would wake up & the arguing would begin before their feet  hit the floor.

I decided that the better move for Lucas would be to move him down to the basement bedroom with Zach.

So, I did.  I didn’t consult Zach before hand.  He didn’t react all that well to my decision. 

Poor Lucas… My dad  had some talks with Zach & Zach has accepted & is being much kinder to his new room-mate.

And the controversy with Jadon & Lucas first thing in the morning has all but stopped… which is good.

Lucas’ talents seem to be more in the line of being a sensitive compassionate guy.  He didn’t want to play basketball this winter & he decided not to play baseball this spring.  He is going to try football in the fall for the first time he says. 

Sixth grade continues to challenge him academically… his organizational skills & not being micromanaged by a homeroom teacher have been challenged… he’s working on them, while he is grounded from his game system for his mid-term grade in Science…

*******

Jadon is having a superb year in the first grade.  I continually stand amazed at his reading & writing skills.

Reading chapter books in the first grade is something that NONE of my children have ever been able to do or wanted to do for that matter!!

He is getting along very well with other students & has had no discipline problems at school at all.

This is so nice.  I am so thankful that his ADHD is under control with the medications & his learning & self esteem is excelling…

We have sibling issues at home… but they aren’t extreme with Jadon.  He responds very well to a sticker chart & rewards… which is a challenge for me, because I am a sticker chart failure… but it makes a world of difference with him, so I am doing it.

He is wanting to play baseball this spring, & sign up is today, so it’s right around the corner (he will be my only baseball player this spring!)

I’ll update Kiahna in her own post… (hopefully it won’t be next week before I get it done!!)

Pam

Snow & flooding….

Last week we had our **HOPEFULLY** last snow storm of the season… The kids went out and made this snowman with Zach & his girl Rachel…

This was Friday…

By Monday the temps had risen, the snow was melting & we had a thunderstorm, complete with lightening & tornado touchdowns…  oh, & power outages with flooding…

My basement when I woke up on Monday morning… yes, it was this messy… yes I was already in the process of cleaning out the storage room… which in the big picture was a plus because there were a lot more things that would have been on the ground if I had not done that…

From the other end…

The boy’s bedroom is down there…

And their bathroom… (towels piled up by Zach so he could stand & get ready that morning)

All these clothes were clean & “fell” out of their closet… and soaked up the flood water…

And this was the laundry pile…

The basement kitchen…

Right now every area with carpet is empty & every thing is piled on the vinyl flooring… I donated 3 bags of stuff… free-cycled & sold a few things I was not going to put back into storage… The carpeting is dry & scheduled to be re-laid this morning… then it will need cleaned & we can move back in.

$500 deductible on my flood insurance… my brother-in-law is installing a new sump pump, plus a battery powered back up… that’s going to be costly…

I get my first tax refund since my divorce… I get to spend it on a sump-pump… joy of joys!!   I did buy some “fun” stuff with it already though too… it will be fine.  I am extremely blessed & thankful!!!

Pam

Basement flooded AGAIN!

The power went out last night…

The rain poured down & into our sump pump…

And covered 7/8 of our finished basement…

The positives…

• I had just started cleaning out the back room & lots of things that were on the ground were not on the ground anymore
• The 3 baskets of clean laundry that were on the floor are not wet.
• I guess I now have my motivation to clean the remainder of the basement & purge more things we don’t need.

Seeking to praise HIM in this storm… put on praise music…

Carpet restoration people will be here in a few minutes…

Oh, & our road is worse than ever, almost 1/2 of it washed out for about 1/4 mile… maybe this will cost the county enough to get us on the paved list?????  I COULD HAPPEN!!!!

Pam

All the posts I should have written all month…

I seem to have lost the time I used to take to write here on the blog…I miss it, not sure where to find it again, but I’d like to…

Jadon just put in “Let me hold you longer” on CD (by Karen Kingsbury), now I am crying… remembering why I started writing in this blog… needing to keep it up… the memories go by so fast.

James is in Florida, with 7 other friends from college.  He came home on Friday to pick up a large van we rented for them to take… I admit I have concerns… praying a lot this week that they aren’t enticed by the temptations they are going to have all around them & the freedom of being on their own with no accountability.

BC has “life-style covenants” that the students have to sign… wrong choices could mean the loss of scholarships & that would be really bad.  He definitely couldn’t continue there without his scholarships.

He has a girl he is really liking there.  We have met her 2 times briefly.  It’s so strange to have him involved with someone we don’t know at all.  She appears to be a great girl… they are just so young yet… always concerns.

BC has been experiencing some amazing revival things… Not seeing that James has really “caught” the fire yet… praying he will… praying, praying, praying…

He got a summer job with the college, he will be working with summer camps for Missionary church’s around the country.  He will receive a tuition reduction & some cash.  We will miss him being home, but it will be a great experience for him I think.  He’ll be home in May for the month & then another week in the summer, which we hope will be the one we will spend at the lake in July.

He’s doing very well, I have many things to be excited & proud of him about… I just see the enemy prowling around trying to “steal, kill & destroy”… and I pray…

Zach finished his season of basketball last night.  It was successful… he does such a good job.  Plays with a lot of passion & drive.  I am told over and over by other parents how much they enjoy watching him play. 

Last week when we went to watch James run in an indoor track meet, apparently Zach was supposed to be home working in the concession stands for an AAU tournament to raise money for the basketball team’s trip.  Zach had asked a friend to cover his time for him he said, but had failed to tell the coach what was going on.

This resulted in the coach “disciplining” Zach by benching him for a game. 

I am the first to admit that Zach has “attitude”.  He comes across as a cocky, confident, on-top-of-the-world, kid.  Reality is the exact opposite… it isn’t always easy for coaches & teachers to view him that way. 

My own personal opinion is that Zach was not treated the same way that the coach would have treated other kids on the team in the same position… I keep my opinion to myself… especially around Zach.  He already knows & says the same thing.  I encourage respect for coaches & hope Zach learns life lessons that will take him far… the world we live in is far from fair, people have favorites & people are misunderstood.

Zach has a new girlfriend.  She goes to the school just south of us.  She saw him at a ball game and added him to fb & they started talking.  He is “infatuated” to say the least! 

Rachel is a very nice girl, she’s into photography, so her & I have a lot in common! I trust the 2 of them ZERO when they are together, they are both way too “into” each other…

More praying… lots more praying…

Lot’s of reminders of what it was like to be their age and madly in love… which spurs lots of fears in my heart for my son… which I am trying to turn into praying…

Zach & I struggle to get along many days… he’s a lot different to raise that James was… He’s a lot like I was at that age… which scares the living day-lights out of me… must pray.  must pray.  must pray.

In the next 2 weeks Zach will turn his focus heavily on the musical at school.  He has a large lead for a sophomore.  Tons of speaking passages that are long… he’s getting them, but wow!  I am excited to see that performance in the middle of March!

Leah’s ready for high school.  Middle school is so “immature” ya know!  Things are going okay with her.  I feel like I lose touch with her so easily… Lose her to that stupid Ipod… I hate those things. 

Planning to spend some time with just her today.  Looking forward to reconnecting.

She’s doing great in school, works hard at it… much harder than the boys have worked… urhg…

Well, I am going to end this update for now… need to go get ready for church… I hope to continue real soon with what’s up with the other 3!!

Thanks for reading!

Pam

Poor girl…

Today is the 4th day that Kiahna has been sick… I think today is worst yet…

Doesn’t that just make you so sad…

Hoping this is over soon & no one else gets it!!!!!

Pam

Unreal…

The room is quite now... It's 4:30 in the afternoon on a Wednesday.  My daughter is asleep on the couch. Exhausted after a day of getting into enough trouble in school to warrant the school calling to ask if I will pick her up & take her home.

I am frustrated as I look at the situation again & realize that the behavior problems have been growing worse in the past week.  The new medication we started increasing a couple weeks ago is probably the issue.  Frustrated as I realize again that the the damage in her brain is severe enough that the medications can't help her like they need to.  And while they help her with some issues, other issues increase.  Frustrated to realize that what I didn't want to admit to myself, (that the med was not working) is no longer avoidable. 

The med isn't working for her.  So we go back to the doctors to try another one. 

I should wake her up.   She probably won't go to bed for me tonight until late.  But, the peace & quite is so nice. 

The IEP meeting we had this morning was encouraging... until I distance myself and realize that we are talking about MY child... MY child who has severe behavior issues that are effecting her learning & the learning of her entire class... MY CHILD...

My child who has brain damage caused by substance abuse during her birth mom's pregnancy with her.  A condition that is 100% preventable... and not curable.

A condition that is affecting 70% of children in the US foster care system.

A condition that 80% of the children who have it are NOT being raised by their biological parents.

A condition that effects her ability to make a friend, be a friend, learn, process the world, comprehend jokes or humor, makes her a social outcast because her peers are afraid of her behaviors...

This is unreal.

Pam

Today’s Snow…

 

Stuck at home again!

Enter my contest below & Don’t miss the sale I am running on my winter note cards!

Only like 4 people have entered below to win a set of cards so go comment so you can be entered to win!!

Pam

WINTER CARD SALE! & CONTESTS!!

We are snowed in…

And I am running a sale on my winter cards!!!

PLUS

I am giving cards away!!

READ ABOUT THE SALE HERE

Join my fan page on Facebook & tag yourself in the photo I have directed you to & you could win a free set of notecards!

VISIT MY FACEBOOK FAN PAGE HERE

Another chance to win if you leave a comment on this post!!  If you DON’T have facebook (I know, unbelievable!) leave me 2 comments for a double chance win!  In one comment tell me you don’t have facebook but if you did you would be my biggest facebook fan!!

In the other tell me which set of WINTER note cards you would like if you won!

Here are the choices…

The contest ends when the kids go back to school!!!!  HOPEFULLY BEFORE MONDAY!!!!

Pam